Can't tell my mother I love her

[Anonymous]

I could never tell my mother I loved her. She only started saying she loved me when I was an adult, and at that point I couldn't say something that felt so unnatural in the context of our relationship. We didn't have a terrible relationship by any means, but it was not a warm one.

Rather than obsess over those three words, I tried to show through actions--calling, visiting, sending pictures--that I cared for her.

She died several years ago, and while I wish I had been kinder in general, my inability to say "I love you" does not prey on my conscience. Our relationship was largely of her making, and within our limitations, we both tried to make the best of it in later years.

I was, however, determined when I had my own children that I would tell them I love them every day, and I've pretty much stuck to that (even as they enter the teen years...).

[Anonymous]

^^I agree with the PP above, that it's more important to SHOW love than to express it with words.

My Dad and I don't really exchange "I love you". It's just not his style at all. However, I've always known he loves me. He SHOWS it. The expression on his face when I come over to his house, how grateful he is for spending time with me, etc all shines through. So when he's gone, I'm not going to spend a lot of time wishing he'd told me he'd loved me, because I already know he did.

[Anonymous]

Um, yes, it's ME with Asperger's (diagnosed). Therapy hasn't come close to touching the toxicity she's bought into my life.

I can do a card, though.

[Anonymous]

np: I've stopped visiting my parents. My dad told me to take my toddler out of the room so he could watch the movie he'd rented. That's it, I'm not taking my kids on a plane to be received that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, yes, it's ME with Asperger's (diagnosed). Therapy hasn't come close to touching the toxicity she's bought into my life.

I can do a card, though.

Listen, if you have a toxic relationship, don't say it. You don't have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't tell my parents I love them. It's just not what we do. It's weird. I tell my kid I love her all the time though.

+1

[Anonymous]

Agree with the card idea.

Also, if you 2 email -- say it in an email close as well.