Seeking TJHSST moms' advice

[Anonymous]

My kid has been accepted to TJ. How is the commute from North Arlington? How much homework for a kid that normally finds middle school easy? How is the culture? Do the kids support each other? Cutthroat?

Thank you!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I suggest you post on the AAP forum.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak to the commute from North Arlington but in terms of work, it is a HUGE difference from my DS' not-so-challenging middle school. He is often up until after midnight doing work, especially when he's involved in a sport. You will hear repeated over and over again: "Your child just needs to learn good time management" when the load of work feels crushing. The culture for the kids is the best part: I-Night, the askings to the dances, the lock-ins, and 8th period but the crazy amounts of work make it hard for my son to fully enjoy them. He -- once very carefree in attitude -- says, "I spend the whole time worrying about how I'll pay for having fun with having to stay up." The kids are not typically cutthroat but there's enormous pressure and there are many stressed-out kids. The school will tell you about its mental health initiatives and how they have "homework guidelines" in place to minimize the craziness but some of my child's teachers will circumvent the guidelines i.e. assign a major project on the Thursday before Spring Break and say, "You had Thursday night before break to work on it so technically, you didn't have to complete it over Spring Break." If your child gets the IBET with Glotfelty and Hohlman, asked to be switched. They are two of the worst offenders in terms of actively undermining the guidelines.

In many ways TJ is a special place so I find it even more disheartening that all the good is undermined by ridiculous amounts of work. Smart 15-year-olds are still 15 year-olds; they shouldn't be walking around with their brows furrowed and the weight of the world on their shoulders. I hope it changes and that this isn't your child's experience, too. So sad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't speak to the commute from North Arlington but in terms of work, it is a HUGE difference from my DS' not-so-challenging middle school. He is often up until after midnight doing work, especially when he's involved in a sport. You will hear repeated over and over again: "Your child just needs to learn good time management" when the load of work feels crushing. The culture for the kids is the best part: I-Night, the askings to the dances, the lock-ins, and 8th period but the crazy amounts of work make it hard for my son to fully enjoy them. He -- once very carefree in attitude -- says, "I spend the whole time worrying about how I'll pay for having fun with having to stay up." The kids are not typically cutthroat but there's enormous pressure and there are many stressed-out kids. The school will tell you about its mental health initiatives and how they have "homework guidelines" in place to minimize the craziness but some of my child's teachers will circumvent the guidelines i.e. assign a major project on the Thursday before Spring Break and say, "You had Thursday night before break to work on it so technically, you didn't have to complete it over Spring Break." If your child gets the IBET with Glotfelty and Hohlman, asked to be switched. They are two of the worst offenders in terms of actively undermining the guidelines.

In many ways TJ is a special place so I find it even more disheartening that all the good is undermined by ridiculous amounts of work. Smart 15-year-olds are still 15 year-olds; they shouldn't be walking around with their brows furrowed and the weight of the world on their shoulders. I hope it changes and that this isn't your child's experience, too. So sad!

+!00 And each teacher feels that they are exempt from the "homework guidelines"

[Anonymous]

My friend's daughter buses to TJ from their north Arlington home. It doesn't sound like the bus ride takes very long.

Her daughter has done very well there, seems very well adjusted and not nerdy, and got into all but one selective college to which she applied. She says that TJ is nice because no matter your interest, someone shares it. Everyone finds their niche. Lots of homework though.

[Anonymous]

Commute is easy down 395. It is a true reverse commute. There's never traffic on 395S in the morning to Little River.

[Anonymous]

You moms are awesome! How about diversity? I hear minority is majority and majority is minority there?

[Anonymous]

If your child gets the IBET with Glotfelty and Hohlman, asked to be switched. They are two of the worst offenders in terms of actively undermining the guidelines.

I find this interesting. People will have different experiences, even with the same set of teachers. My child has this IBET and we did not have this experience, at least not with spring break. There was something due immediately after the Christmas break though, which I thought was rude. Glotfelty is definitely known as being a super hard grader. She is my child's least favorite teacher by far, a sentiment echoed by many in the IBET. I thought most kids like Hohlman though. And the kids love LaFever,

And my kid is in bed by 10:30/11 most nights. There have been occasional late nights when there was a late practice. I hear 4th quarter is killer though when the IBET project ramps up.

The school is definitely majority Asian. If that bothers your child, it will be a long 4 years. You have to embrace the environment and go with it. My kid was not very happy until they joined a group that they clicked with. Since then, my child has been really happy there.

[Anonymous]

I thought there was an unwritten rule, enforced by Jeff, not to allow discussions of individual teachers by name on DCUM. Does this rule not exist or does it just not apply to TJ?

[Anonymous]

I'm 20:06. If that's a rule, I was not aware of it. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

My kid was admitted also and I am worried. He is happy, needs his sleep (they all do), not a perfectionist, but somewhat driven to do well.

I just do not want him to be constantly worrying about what he has to do. High School should be fun.

I guess we will see. they can always get B's or change back to the base HS. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

PP, your DS will be fine at TJ with Bs if need be. I personally feel that parents buy into the "you must have all As" mentality more than most of the students do. If your DS wants to go and do well, but isn't obsessed about being #1 at every subject -- virtually impossible given the pool of talent and knowledge at TJ -- then he will be fine. Our DC is the same ... As a sophomore DC has learned so much, about almost any topic you could think of. Thanks to the hardest IBET of last year (one teacher retired, one moved on to head department at a private school), DC is has great writing skills and is a very solid scientific thinker. Was it hard during last year? For sure at times and especially when the project was due. Did it pay off in the large amount of learning? Yes. Was the presentation of the IBET project cool? Very much so - I am pretty sure consulting firm new hires out of college are not as poised and prepared at presentation. And who was my DC's favorite teacher? The hardest, even though she was probably the first to give DC an F on anything.

[Anonymous]

OP, congrats to your child! I'll try to answer some of your questions:
There is a bus that goes to TJ from Arlington (and back in the afternoon). Arlington parents have been working with APS transportation to make route the more efficient so the students don't have to get up too early or get home too late. Unfortunately there's only one bus and it winds its way through Arlington, starting in N. Arlington since that's farthest from TJ.The schedule changes every year, but this year the N. Arlington stop times were anywhere from shortly after 7am to almost 8am - it just depends where you live. I know some parents drive their kid to a later stop so they can get more sleep, and some just drive them to school every day. TJ kids tend to get their driver's license as soon as they can so they can leave later (between 7:45 & 8am) and drive themselves to school.

Homework: Other PPs have addressed this. It's very teacher-dependent. Sometimes my child stays up past midnight, but usually he's in bed before 11pm. Junior year is definitely more intense but that's true of any high school. Your child will definitely be challenged intellectually, maybe for the first time.

The culture: This is the best part of TJ. It's intense, but not cutthroat. The kids are very supportive and accepting of each other - most of them seem to be more mature than the typical teenager. My quiet, nerdy child finally found a place where he belongs. One issue with living in Arlington is that the Fairfax Co. kids all seem to know each other (some of the middle schools in Fairfax Co. send 50-60 kids to TJ) and since the Arlington kids are a much smaller group it can take a while to find a friend group. It's a good idea to do a fall sport or activity as that's a great way to make friends.

[Anonymous]

Be prepared your your family's entire life to revolve around TJ. We were not prepared for that at all. The kids at TJ are great; the grind and the homework load stink. I feel like we hardly ever see my child because he's either at school or doing homework. (School includes all the extracurricular activities, which are a must so they have some social time.)

Also, keep your checkbook handy. TJ is always asking for money. I have never walked in that school without being solicited for something--booster clubs, labs, etc. Forgot those "We Came for the Sports" bumper stickers, they need a "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

That said, my child insists it's been a good experience. As a parent, I wish we had gone with our neighborhood high school for a more balanced experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared your your family's entire life to revolve around TJ. We were not prepared for that at all. The kids at TJ are great; the grind and the homework load stink. I feel like we hardly ever see my child because he's either at school or doing homework. (School includes all the extracurricular activities, which are a must so they have some social time.)

Also, keep your checkbook handy. TJ is always asking for money. I have never walked in that school without being solicited for something--booster clubs, labs, etc. Forgot those "We Came for the Sports" bumper stickers, they need a "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

That said, my child insists it's been a good experience. As a parent, I wish we had gone with our neighborhood high school for a more balanced experience.

+1 We found this also. We do not see much of our DS, and we have to make many exceptions to chores b/c he is always tired and behind.