Seeking TJHSST moms' advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the all-consuming nature of TJ is any different from the base schools? I remember being very busy with homework and activities in HS. Family was definitely on the periphery.

Our non-TJ kid (at another phenomenal school) has a much better balance of school, work, and activities. I had a senior TJ mom warn me about the workload/stressful climate when my son got in and to be honest, I thought she was exaggerating. She was not and I wish I had listened to her. In the end, you have to do what is best for your child and your family.

Yep, kiss goodbye to any family weekend trips, such a quick hike in the Shenandoahs, for four years.

It is odd to see your TJ freshman working harder than your college freshman attending a top ranked university.

I would suggest talking to parents who have had kids at TJ AND a base high school who can make a meaningful comparison, vs parents who only had kids at TJ.

This hasn't been true for our TJ family - we still go away on weekends occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared your your family's entire life to revolve around TJ. We were not prepared for that at all. The kids at TJ are great; the grind and the homework load stink. I feel like we hardly ever see my child because he's either at school or doing homework. (School includes all the extracurricular activities, which are a must so they have some social time.)

Also, keep your checkbook handy. TJ is always asking for money. I have never walked in that school without being solicited for something--booster clubs, labs, etc. Forgot those "We Came for the Sports" bumper stickers, they need a "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

That said, my child insists it's been a good experience. As a parent, I wish we had gone with our neighborhood high school for a more balanced experience.

+1 We found this also. We do not see much of our DS, and we have to make many exceptions to chores b/c he is always tired and behind.

\


+1 "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared your your family's entire life to revolve around TJ. We were not prepared for that at all. The kids at TJ are great; the grind and the homework load stink. I feel like we hardly ever see my child because he's either at school or doing homework. (School includes all the extracurricular activities, which are a must so they have some social time.)

Also, keep your checkbook handy. TJ is always asking for money. I have never walked in that school without being solicited for something--booster clubs, labs, etc. Forgot those "We Came for the Sports" bumper stickers, they need a "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

That said, my child insists it's been a good experience. As a parent, I wish we had gone with our neighborhood high school for a more balanced experience.

+1 We found this also. We do not see much of our DS, and we have to make many exceptions to chores b/c he is always tired and behind.

\


+1 "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

Do you have kids at another other FCPS HS? They all are looking to finance activities due to FCPS under funding (or wrong funding).

TJ has been great for my kid. We're from the western part of the county and my kids were in AAP so the "diversity" was the norm. It's been no issue for my kids. I'm not sure they even notice at this point. BTW the student MC's at iNite did quite a number of pretty funny and insightful jokes about the TJ culture.

[Anonymous]

Read between the lines if your kid is asian and you like the whole tiger mom thing/pure academics TJ is great
If you are non-asian or non tiger mom asian really think twice about having your kid go there
College acceptance rates are similar for top people at base hs and TJ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read between the lines if your kid is asian and you like the whole tiger mom thing/pure academics TJ is great
If you are non-asian or non tiger mom asian really think twice about having your kid go there
College acceptance rates are similar for top people at base hs and TJ

White family here and the above is not true - great experience at TJ. Not gunning for ivy league and assume VA state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read between the lines if your kid is asian and you like the whole tiger mom thing/pure academics TJ is great
If you are non-asian or non tiger mom asian really think twice about having your kid go there
College acceptance rates are similar for top people at base hs and TJ

Non-tiger (white) mother here with 2 (white) TJ kids who love the school. And, no, college acceptance rates are not the same as our base HS, but that's not why they chose to go there.

And I wish these anti-TJ posters would find something better to do with their time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read between the lines if your kid is asian and you like the whole tiger mom thing/pure academics TJ is great
If you are non-asian or non tiger mom asian really think twice about having your kid go there
College acceptance rates are similar for top people at base hs and TJ

Non-tiger (white) mother here with 2 (white) TJ kids who love the school. And, no, college acceptance rates are not the same as our base HS, but that's not why they chose to go there.

And I wish these anti-TJ posters would find something better to do with their time.

Another non-tiger (white TJ mom) but with only 1 (white) kid, so perhaps that doesn't give me standing in your eyes, but I very much disagree with you. Posting about the heavy homework load, or the long commute times, or the real impact that attending TJ has on an entire family is not anti-TJ. It's fact.

My child does like the school and doesn't want to be anywhere else, but going there does come with a heavy price on a number of fronts. It's a great school, but it is not a perfect school by any means. I think you do a real disservice to families who are trying to discern if this is the right school for their child if you think anything but a glowing, rah-rah report is anti-TJ. Glad your family has had an idyllic experience, but I think you can tell that is not universal. Nor would it be at ANY high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read between the lines if your kid is asian and you like the whole tiger mom thing/pure academics TJ is great
If you are non-asian or non tiger mom asian really think twice about having your kid go there
College acceptance rates are similar for top people at base hs and TJ

Non-tiger (white) mother here with 2 (white) TJ kids who love the school. And, no, college acceptance rates are not the same as our base HS, but that's not why they chose to go there.

And I wish these anti-TJ posters would find something better to do with their time.

Another non-tiger (white TJ mom) but with only 1 (white) kid, so perhaps that doesn't give me standing in your eyes, but I very much disagree with you. Posting about the heavy homework load, or the long commute times, or the real impact that attending TJ has on an entire family is not anti-TJ. It's fact.

My child does like the school and doesn't want to be anywhere else, but going there does come with a heavy price on a number of fronts. It's a great school, but it is not a perfect school by any means. I think you do a real disservice to families who are trying to discern if this is the right school for their child if you think anything but a glowing, rah-rah report is anti-TJ. Glad your family has had an idyllic experience, but I think you can tell that is not universal. Nor would it be at ANY high school.

Great post! Thank you

[Anonymous]

If you want to know about the work load at TJ, here is it. Both of my kids felt they went through four years of college after they graduated from TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read between the lines if your kid is asian and you like the whole tiger mom thing/pure academics TJ is great
If you are non-asian or non tiger mom asian really think twice about having your kid go there
College acceptance rates are similar for top people at base hs and TJ

Non-tiger (white) mother here with 2 (white) TJ kids who love the school. And, no, college acceptance rates are not the same as our base HS, but that's not why they chose to go there.

And I wish these anti-TJ posters would find something better to do with their time.

Another non-tiger (white TJ mom) but with only 1 (white) kid, so perhaps that doesn't give me standing in your eyes, but I very much disagree with you. Posting about the heavy homework load, or the long commute times, or the real impact that attending TJ has on an entire family is not anti-TJ. It's fact.

My child does like the school and doesn't want to be anywhere else, but going there does come with a heavy price on a number of fronts. It's a great school, but it is not a perfect school by any means. I think you do a real disservice to families who are trying to discern if this is the right school for their child if you think anything but a glowing, rah-rah report is anti-TJ. Glad your family has had an idyllic experience, but I think you can tell that is not universal. Nor would it be at ANY high school.

Sorry you misinterpreted my post. I was referring to the posters who throw out these cliched, unsubstantiated (and often racist) posts against TJ - those anti-TJ posters are adding nothing to the conversation. I'm not saying it's a perfect school and over the years, at various times on this board, I've laid out my issues with it. But to say that only super-intense Asian kids should go there is just wrong.

[Anonymous]

Lots of homework at TJ but so much learning to show for it. Agreed most of the 9th grade classes are akin to sophomore college classes. And it goes up from there. If your DC is extremely anxious about grades, being #1 in the class for academics, straight As ... in a place where there's only about a 4/1600 chance that happens ... Then TJ may not be right for your kid. If you as a parent are obsessed with Ivy (possibly other than Penn or Cornell) or Stanford admittance and have foisted that dream onto your DC's shoulders, TJ may not be for you (and good luck anywhere with those odds - you could be best off home schooling from Maine or Montana).

If your DC loves to learn generally, or has a deep interest in a specific STEM subject and is willing to take the time to also learn a lot about writing and language and history, TJ is worth a serious look.

Not for those who don't want to work hard. Not for those who get anxious if a lot of work is in the pipeline. Not for those who can't learn to pick themselves up quickly from an F on an exam or a failed experiment. Good choice for kids who do want to learn (and play) hard. The sports enthusiasm and arts and I-Nite and school spirit are on the par of anywhere. And some of the sports teams don't necessarily win at all (as in never) - so the kids out there sweating for 3 hours a day at practice are doing it for the love of game, their teammates and coaches, and the school. And probably pulling a few report card Bs instead of As because of that, and it does end up okay even if only x% of each class is accepted by (insert top school name here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of homework at TJ but so much learning to show for it. Agreed most of the 9th grade classes are akin to sophomore college classes. And it goes up from there. If your DC is extremely anxious about grades, being #1 in the class for academics, straight As ... in a place where there's only about a 4/1600 chance that happens ... Then TJ may not be right for your kid. If you as a parent are obsessed with Ivy (possibly other than Penn or Cornell) or Stanford admittance and have foisted that dream onto your DC's shoulders, TJ may not be for you (and good luck anywhere with those odds - you could be best off home schooling from Maine or Montana).

If your DC loves to learn generally, or has a deep interest in a specific STEM subject and is willing to take the time to also learn a lot about writing and language and history, TJ is worth a serious look.

Not for those who don't want to work hard. Not for those who get anxious if a lot of work is in the pipeline. Not for those who can't learn to pick themselves up quickly from an F on an exam or a failed experiment. Good choice for kids who do want to learn (and play) hard. The sports enthusiasm and arts and I-Nite and school spirit are on the par of anywhere. And some of the sports teams don't necessarily win at all (as in never) - so the kids out there sweating for 3 hours a day at practice are doing it for the love of game, their teammates and coaches, and the school. And probably pulling a few report card Bs instead of As because of that, and it does end up okay even if only x% of each class is accepted by (insert top school name here).

Agree with a lot of the above. There can be a lot of homework, but some kids have the personality to handle it without stressing out. You have to know your own kid and how they handle a lot of work.

The kids who do best there are the ones who are both smart and hardworking. The kid who is smart but lazy or the one who is hard working but only above average in intelligence just won't cut it there. The kid who is really bright but doesn't like to sit down and get the homework done will love the challenging classes, but will be overwhelmed by the workload. And the kid who got all As in middle school by coming home and studying for hours every night and weekend and only participating in academic extracurriculars will just have trouble understanding all the new ideas and concepts because you need to be able to pick things up quickly and easily at TJ. It is true that TJ can be no fun at all for some kids, but it is a great place for the kids for whom it is a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read between the lines if your kid is asian and you like the whole tiger mom thing/pure academics TJ is great
If you are non-asian or non tiger mom asian really think twice about having your kid go there
College acceptance rates are similar for top people at base hs and TJ

Non-tiger (white) mother here with 2 (white) TJ kids who love the school. And, no, college acceptance rates are not the same as our base HS, but that's not why they chose to go there.

And I wish these anti-TJ posters would find something better to do with their time.

Another non-tiger (white TJ mom) but with only 1 (white) kid, so perhaps that doesn't give me standing in your eyes, but I very much disagree with you. Posting about the heavy homework load, or the long commute times, or the real impact that attending TJ has on an entire family is not anti-TJ. It's fact.

My child does like the school and doesn't want to be anywhere else, but going there does come with a heavy price on a number of fronts. It's a great school, but it is not a perfect school by any means. I think you do a real disservice to families who are trying to discern if this is the right school for their child if you think anything but a glowing, rah-rah report is anti-TJ. Glad your family has had an idyllic experience, but I think you can tell that is not universal. Nor would it be at ANY high school.

Sorry you misinterpreted my post. I was referring to the posters who throw out these cliched, unsubstantiated (and often racist) posts against TJ - those anti-TJ posters are adding nothing to the conversation. I'm not saying it's a perfect school and over the years, at various times on this board, I've laid out my issues with it. But to say that only super-intense Asian kids should go there is just wrong.

Thanks for the clarification. I agree with you--my son has found the racial makeup of the school to be a non-issue. In fact, on a recent college visit he remarked at how many white people there were. I've actually found that the kids at TJ are very supportive of each other and there is not a hyper-competitive vibe among the kids. It's the adults (administration, teachers, and parents) that need to take it down a few notches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared your your family's entire life to revolve around TJ. We were not prepared for that at all. The kids at TJ are great; the grind and the homework load stink. I feel like we hardly ever see my child because he's either at school or doing homework. (School includes all the extracurricular activities, which are a must so they have some social time.)

Also, keep your checkbook handy. TJ is always asking for money. I have never walked in that school without being solicited for something--booster clubs, labs, etc. Forgot those "We Came for the Sports" bumper stickers, they need a "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

That said, my child insists it's been a good experience. As a parent, I wish we had gone with our neighborhood high school for a more balanced experience.

+1 We found this also. We do not see much of our DS, and we have to make many exceptions to chores b/c he is always tired and behind.

\


+1 "My Kid and My Money go to TJ" sticker.

Do you have kids at another other FCPS HS? They all are looking to finance activities due to FCPS under funding (or wrong funding).

TJ has been great for my kid. We're from the western part of the county and my kids were in AAP so the "diversity" was the norm. It's been no issue for my kids. I'm not sure they even notice at this point. BTW the student MC's at iNite did quite a number of pretty funny and insightful jokes about the TJ culture.

I did not find the racial jabs funny and in fact I had to leave.

[Anonymous]

There are definite pluses and minus to TJ. For a STEM education in a public school, you cannot get that education anywhere else in FCPS. It is very difficult and demanding however, even for a smart kid -- everyone is "smart" at TJ. It takes a lot of time to do all of the homework that is assigned. So many weekends and even breaks are consumed by that. Four years of locked in the room with the homework followed by your DC leaving the nest for college may not be what you want for your family.