I wish my church could just let me attend, no strings

[Anonymous]

I have stopped attending church because I can't bear the obligations that come with it. I am stretched thin right now and feel like I am hanging on by a thread. But when I put the kids in the daycare/bible school during the service, I then get endless emails asking me to sign up to teach a bible lesson/volunteer. They send soand emails, saying they are in a bind.
I get it. They need volunteers. You can't just take and not give. I am always someone who volunteers. But we are having quite the rough patch. We are headed to divorce. It's awful.
I tried just not putting the kids in, and keeping them in the service, but the 2 year of was noisy and no one else keeps their kids in there.
My husband will NOT volunteer and does not care how many times they ask. The emails, though, come only to me, of course.
So I just stopped going.
And I wish I didn't have to, cause I do need it right now.

[Anonymous]

Unsubscribe to the emails or put a filter on so they go to your trash can.

[Anonymous]

Woah I don't think anyone would want you to quit going to church over this. Church should be a place where you feel supported, not drained. The next time someone emails you, why don't you just be honest? Say you are having a rough time right now and will not be able to volunteer for the foreseeable future. I mean, why not? They will know you are getting a divorce eventually anyway. Or just say you are really busy and will let them know when you can do it.

And have you talked with your pastor about the stuff going on in your life?

At one time my husband volunteered to teach Sunday school, and it almost drove him to the verge of a nervous breakdown. He got SO stressed over it, it was bizarre. So they let him off the hook. It is NOT a big deal. Keep going to church!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have stopped attending church because I can't bear the obligations that come with it. I am stretched thin right now and feel like I am hanging on by a thread. But when I put the kids in the daycare/bible school during the service, I then get endless emails asking me to sign up to teach a bible lesson/volunteer. They send soand emails, saying they are in a bind.
I get it. They need volunteers. You can't just take and not give. I am always someone who volunteers. But we are having quite the rough patch. We are headed to divorce. It's awful.
I tried just not putting the kids in, and keeping them in the service, but the 2 year of was noisy and no one else keeps their kids in there.
My husband will NOT volunteer and does not care how many times they ask. The emails, though, come only to me, of course.
So I just stopped going.
And I wish I didn't have to, cause I do need it right now.

Go to most any Catholic Church. A bazillion people shuffle in and out of services, no pressure to volunteer but you could.
Odds are even if you wanted to you'd have to wait to be worked in as a volunteer.

Or, just spam folder the volunteer notes?

[Anonymous]

If it wasn't your time, it would be your money

[Anonymous]

Yes, as a PP notes, a Catholic Church would be so much better. I was raised catholic. You just bring the kids, wear your jeans, leave early, whatever.
But we go to a Presbyterian church and you dress up and put the kids in the bible school/child care.
It's different

[Anonymous]

Sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. I agree with PP 22:39. You don't need to give details but I suggest just being honest and say that while you really like to volunteer, you are going through a rough patch right now and really cannot. If you say this once or twice firmly, the church should respect that.
I wish you the best, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, as a PP notes, a Catholic Church would be so much better. I was raised catholic. You just bring the kids, wear your jeans, leave early, whatever.
But we go to a Presbyterian church and you dress up and put the kids in the bible school/child care.
It's different

Why bother going to church if you are going to have that kind of careless attitude? It's not about you, it's about God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. I agree with PP 22:39. You don't need to give details but I suggest just being honest and say that while you really like to volunteer, you are going through a rough patch right now and really cannot. If you say this once or twice firmly, the church should respect that.
I wish you the best, OP.

I agree you should tell them. However, the automated emails will probably not stop if they're sent out to everyone. You will just feel better about ignoring them!

Also want to comment on the Catholic thing - in France, my home country, people dress up very nicely for Sunday service and everyone is on their best behavior. What PPs describe may be the Catholic Church here, but it's not the Catholic Church everywhere!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have stopped attending church because I can't bear the obligations that come with it. I am stretched thin right now and feel like I am hanging on by a thread. But when I put the kids in the daycare/bible school during the service, I then get endless emails asking me to sign up to teach a bible lesson/volunteer. They send soand emails, saying they are in a bind.
I get it. They need volunteers. You can't just take and not give. I am always someone who volunteers. But we are having quite the rough patch. We are headed to divorce. It's awful.
I tried just not putting the kids in, and keeping them in the service, but the 2 year of was noisy and no one else keeps their kids in there.
My husband will NOT volunteer and does not care how many times they ask. The emails, though, come only to me, of course.
So I just stopped going.
And I wish I didn't have to, cause I do need it right now.

Go to most any Catholic Church. A bazillion people shuffle in and out of services, no pressure to volunteer but you could.
Odds are even if you wanted to you'd have to wait to be worked in as a volunteer.

Or, just spam folder the volunteer notes?

Any Catholic Church now would require a background check and 3 hour child safety training before letting you be anywhere near kids, so they are definitely not looking for ad hoc last minute volunteers.

[Anonymous]

Just a thought, but it might do you good to volunteer. You'll feel better about yourself. It doesn't take much and it goes a long way. Just sayin'...

And I don't think the emails are aimed at you personally. It's probably auto-generated based on whether or not you had your kid in the church nursery during service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. I agree with PP 22:39. You don't need to give details but I suggest just being honest and say that while you really like to volunteer, you are going through a rough patch right now and really cannot. If you say this once or twice firmly, the church should respect that.
I wish you the best, OP.

I agree you should tell them. However, the automated emails will probably not stop if they're sent out to everyone. You will just feel better about ignoring them!

Also want to comment on the Catholic thing - in France, my home country, people dress up very nicely for Sunday service and everyone is on their best behavior. What PPs describe may be the Catholic Church here, but it's not the Catholic Church everywhere!

It is not the Catholic church everywhere here either.

However, Catholic churches here don't pressure you to volunteer or tithe, do try to encourage families to keep their kids in the pews with them (even if they make a little noise) and aren't terribly concerned with what people are wearing. You will see everything from kids in soccer uniforms going to mass on their way to a tournament, to suits and ties to workers clothing. Most of the people will be in dressy casual clothing (slacks and polos for the men and skirts/pants for the women).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. I agree with PP 22:39. You don't need to give details but I suggest just being honest and say that while you really like to volunteer, you are going through a rough patch right now and really cannot. If you say this once or twice firmly, the church should respect that.
I wish you the best, OP.

I agree you should tell them. However, the automated emails will probably not stop if they're sent out to everyone. You will just feel better about ignoring them!

Also want to comment on the Catholic thing - in France, my home country, people dress up very nicely for Sunday service and everyone is on their best behavior. What PPs describe may be the Catholic Church here, but it's not the Catholic Church everywhere!

It is not the Catholic church everywhere here either.

However, Catholic churches here don't pressure you to volunteer or tithe, do try to encourage families to keep their kids in the pews with them (even if they make a little noise) and aren't terribly concerned with what people are wearing. You will see everything from kids in soccer uniforms going to mass on their way to a tournament, to suits and ties to workers clothing. Most of the people will be in dressy casual clothing (slacks and polos for the men and skirts/pants for the women).

THey will pressure you to put your kids in Catechism, though and be baptized as Catholic -- so unless you are ready to convert, you should avoid going to a Catholic church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, as a PP notes, a Catholic Church would be so much better. I was raised catholic. You just bring the kids, wear your jeans, leave early, whatever.
But we go to a Presbyterian church and you dress up and put the kids in the bible school/child care.
It's different

Why bother going to church if you are going to have that kind of careless attitude? It's not about you, it's about God.

A loving God might want to give her a break because of the rough patch she's going through

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. I agree with PP 22:39. You don't need to give details but I suggest just being honest and say that while you really like to volunteer, you are going through a rough patch right now and really cannot. If you say this once or twice firmly, the church should respect that.
I wish you the best, OP.

I agree you should tell them. However, the automated emails will probably not stop if they're sent out to everyone. You will just feel better about ignoring them!

Also want to comment on the Catholic thing - in France, my home country, people dress up very nicely for Sunday service and everyone is on their best behavior. What PPs describe may be the Catholic Church here, but it's not the Catholic Church everywhere!

It is not the Catholic church everywhere here either.

However, Catholic churches here don't pressure you to volunteer or tithe, do try to encourage families to keep their kids in the pews with them (even if they make a little noise) and aren't terribly concerned with what people are wearing. You will see everything from kids in soccer uniforms going to mass on their way to a tournament, to suits and ties to workers clothing. Most of the people will be in dressy casual clothing (slacks and polos for the men and skirts/pants for the women).

I live near a Catholic church, and I never see anyone dressed up. Jeans, pajamas, sneakers... seems very disrespectful to me. I always dress up for church, as does everyone in the congregation. I would never show up in street clothes.