Responses to rude pregnancy comments?

[Anonymous]

I am six months pregnant with my second child and have gotten pretty big with this pregnancy. For some reason, strangers and people I don't know well think it's fine to comment on my size. Random people keep telling me how big I am, or ask if I am having twins. I think it's totally rude and wish people would just mind their business. I got big the first time around and am big this time - so what? Any thoughts or advice on how to respond when people comment on my size? I want some pithy response that gives people a clue that they are being inappropriate, but that is not rude itself.

[Anonymous]

I just take it in stride and say "no twins, I just make them big!"

[Anonymous]

I'd make some dry comment like 'oh I'm not pregnant, why do you ask?' and just stare them down. Make them feel REAAALLL uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd make some dry comment like 'oh I'm not pregnant, why do you ask?' and just stare them down. Make them feel REAAALLL uncomfortable

Heh heh heh. Not a lot of advice, OP, but I'm in the exact same boat - six months pregnant with #2. In my case, it's a co-worker (who has no children, has never been pregnant). So far I've learned from her that a) I started telling too soon, b) I'm eating more than I need, and c) my toddler sleeps too much. I just give her a patient smile and say, "I appreciate your input."

[Anonymous]

I don't get rude comments on the same subject, just that fact that I am on #2 and I am sooooo young. I usually reply with, it's my life and I love my kids and it's really none of your business. Which could for you too. If you are gaining too much weight your doctor will advise you that you need to slow down. I personally gained 60lbs with my first but I was underweight so I needed it. Bottom line is you and your doctor know what is safe for you and your baby. If he hasn't said anything tell them to butt out of your business!!

[Anonymous]

I'm with you. I am 7 months pregnant and two separate strangers have said that I look "like I'm going to pop". Don't these people have a filter? I didn't have a good response for either. Let me know if you find one!

[Anonymous]

Some people are unknowingly rude, but most people mean well. I think you ladies are being too sensitive. What's so offensive about saying you look like you're going to pop? People just want to say SOMETHING to acknowledge your giant belly.

[Anonymous]

Agree w/ the first PP, I just tell them, "yup, I make big babies!" and usually mention something about my husband being tall.
A coworker told me the other day that my size was a "waste" for just one baby, "you should be having twins!" I am THRITY SIX weeks, of course I'm big!!

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's necessary to come up with some sort of "comeback." Perhaps just "yep - just another few months!" or something like that. People feel the need to say something, and there's really nothing that's not semi-weird to say that SOMEONE won't take offense to. And honestly, I've heard people offended by people not saying anything at all! It's just part of being pregnant. And hopefully a small one!

[Anonymous]

I don't think people are intentionally being rude, so I would just let it roll off my back.

I mean, I accidentally (and it was an accident) told a woman who was 6 months pregnant that I couldn't tell she was pregnant at all. I felt like a heel, but I really didn't mean to say it out loud.

[Anonymous]

I am 32 weeks and obviously seem small to people. I routinely have people ask me how far along I am, and then when I say that I'm 32 weeks (or translate it into months for them) and so far, I have gotten the following:

Are you sure you're that far along? I bet you miscalculated your due date.
You are too small, you must not be eating enough for the baby.
Aren't you afraid you're going to have a low birth weight baby?
You are carrying the baby so low and you seem so small - you're not going to make it to 40 weeks.

and my personal favorite:

You women diet during pregnancy now and this is wrong. Very dangerous for baby. Selfish to be so thin during pregnancy, you are supposed to put on weight. Eat more.

The first few got a smile (through gritted teeth) and "I'm not concerned and neither is my doctor."
The next few got "It is impolite to make a comment like that and my doctor says my baby is very healthy."

As for the last one, I won't repeat my reply.

I'm 32 weeks, and I've gained about 21 lbs. My doctor says that I'm in great shape, baby is measuring perfectly, and that yes, I'm carrying low but I have a long torso. I'm tall and have always been thin. I eat plenty, have a healthy diet, and don't go out of my way to work out, but do a lot of walking. Trust me, I have ice cream a few times a week as a treat -- I'm not starving myself! It's so upsetting how many people say these stinging remarks that intimate I'm trying to starve myself at the risk of the baby to stay thin. It's just not true at all and it really upsets me. As much as I try to dismiss the comments, they get into my head and make me worry that the baby won't weigh enough.

So anyway, I encourage anyone who feels these comments are rude to say so. As others say, people often don't realize they're being rude, but the fact is, they are. So they should be told the question is not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

I had a really nice co-worker who constantly would say to me "I hope you make it to the end. Looks like it's coming any day now" when I had 3 more months to go. I learned to grin and bear it. The best was every time I saw my MIL she would re-tell the same story of how she didn't gain a pound when she was pregnant with my husband b/c she didn't want to get "fat" and she'd look pointedly at me. Talk about wanting to kick someone's teeth in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people are unknowingly rude, but most people mean well. I think you ladies are being too sensitive. What's so offensive about saying you look like you're going to pop? People just want to say SOMETHING to acknowledge your giant belly.

I agree. Good god! My first was 9lbs9oz and I was huge and knew it. People told me all the time, I was just as amazed as them. This time, I'm showing much earlier, so I guess I'll be big again. I never thought to be offended. I think some of these posters just might be wound a little too tightly. Pregnant women are big.

OP and others-
Will you be offended after you have the baby and people start telling you how great you look and how amazing it is that you even had a baby? How will you handle that? With grace (doubtful) or will you post here asking for a snappy and witty response (likely)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are unknowingly rude, but most people mean well. I think you ladies are being too sensitive. What's so offensive about saying you look like you're going to pop? People just want to say SOMETHING to acknowledge your giant belly.

I agree. Good god! My first was 9lbs9oz and I was huge and knew it. People told me all the time, I was just as amazed as them. This time, I'm showing much earlier, so I guess I'll be big again. I never thought to be offended. I think some of these posters just might be wound a little too tightly. Pregnant women are big.

OP and others-
Will you be offended after you have the baby and people start telling you how great you look and how amazing it is that you even had a baby? How will you handle that? With grace (doubtful) or will you post here asking for a snappy and witty response (likely)?

speaking of rude comments....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are unknowingly rude, but most people mean well. I think you ladies are being too sensitive. What's so offensive about saying you look like you're going to pop? People just want to say SOMETHING to acknowledge your giant belly.

I agree. Good god! My first was 9lbs9oz and I was huge and knew it. People told me all the time, I was just as amazed as them. This time, I'm showing much earlier, so I guess I'll be big again. I never thought to be offended. I think some of these posters just might be wound a little too tightly. Pregnant women are big.

OP and others-
Will you be offended after you have the baby and people start telling you how great you look and how amazing it is that you even had a baby? How will you handle that? With grace (doubtful) or will you post here asking for a snappy and witty response (likely)?

It's really not so hard to understand - some people don't enjoy their size becoming the topic of conversation. Yes, we're know we're big (or in the PP's case, smaller than average), we don't need to discuss it. Especially with strangers!

At my last job, pregnant with #1, at one point I was literally in the middle of four middle-aged women co-workers, looking me up and down and discussing my appearance, where I'd gotten big and where I hadn't. I didn't just stand there stewing, but I can't say as I loved the attention, either. "I know, she didn't get big until just recently." "Your ankles didn't swell too badly, that's good."