Need recommendation for child therapist for parental alienation

[Anonymous]

Can anyone recommend a therapist in MoCo or DMV area who is experienced with parental alienation? My child's current therapist actually seems to making the situation worse. I have primary custody but there is ongoing emotional and legal harrassment from her father. For years he has tried the route of accusing me of abuse and suing for custody. Now she's older, 12, it's like he's using her as his proxy to threaten, assault and accuse me.

[Anonymous]

You're best bet would be not to play into it or create more drama. Don't talk about him in front of your child. If she brings up a concern of what dad says, tell her dad have some problems and she'll understand when she gets older. The more you focus on this nonsense the more your daughter will too.
I'd probably stop with the so called therapist because it only brings it all back up.

You'll never be able to control what your ex says, his family or others in the home. Sadly this is quite common among divorced people. If you've talked to him about this and he won't stop, not much you can do.

[Anonymous]

I'm on the opposite side of this in that I have been accused of parental alienation since DD was an infant. I breastfed because I felt that was best for her. When she refused a bottle, her dad said it was parental alienation. I coslept from infancy through her toddler years and he said it was parental alienation. I enrolled her in Sunday school as a preschooler and he (a secular Jew) said it was parental alienation. We went to court a lot. To be honest, I am not certain parental alienation even exists because the therapist we saw by Cory order argued it didn't. He was concerned about emotional abuse from the false accusations and repeated court actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the opposite side of this in that I have been accused of parental alienation since DD was an infant. I breastfed because I felt that was best for her. When she refused a bottle, her dad said it was parental alienation. I coslept from infancy through her toddler years and he said it was parental alienation. I enrolled her in Sunday school as a preschooler and he (a secular Jew) said it was parental alienation. We went to court a lot. To be honest, I am not certain parental alienation even exists because the therapist we saw by Cory order argued it didn't. He was concerned about emotional abuse from the false accusations and repeated court actions.

Or, look at it from his angle: You exclusively BF, refused to pump or give child a bottle, so he could to not have visits over an hour or had to be with you. Baby could get Breast Milk through pumping and a bottle but it was not a priority for you and an easy way to restrict his visitation. You enrolled her in Sunday school, which interfered with his visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the opposite side of this in that I have been accused of parental alienation since DD was an infant. I breastfed because I felt that was best for her. When she refused a bottle, her dad said it was parental alienation. I coslept from infancy through her toddler years and he said it was parental alienation. I enrolled her in Sunday school as a preschooler and he (a secular Jew) said it was parental alienation. We went to court a lot. To be honest, I am not certain parental alienation even exists because the therapist we saw by Cory order argued it didn't. He was concerned about emotional abuse from the false accusations and repeated court actions.

Or, look at it from his angle: You exclusively BF, refused to pump or give child a bottle, so he could to not have visits over an hour or had to be with you. Baby could get Breast Milk through pumping and a bottle but it was not a priority for you and an easy way to restrict his visitation. You enrolled her in Sunday school, which interfered with his visits.

NP here. I see what you mean, however:
- some people can't pump (I was one of those).
- he could have co-slept too.
- he can choose another time for his visits, and introduce his child to his religion as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the opposite side of this in that I have been accused of parental alienation since DD was an infant. I breastfed because I felt that was best for her. When she refused a bottle, her dad said it was parental alienation. I coslept from infancy through her toddler years and he said it was parental alienation. I enrolled her in Sunday school as a preschooler and he (a secular Jew) said it was parental alienation. We went to court a lot. To be honest, I am not certain parental alienation even exists because the therapist we saw by Cory order argued it didn't. He was concerned about emotional abuse from the false accusations and repeated court actions.

Or, look at it from his angle: You exclusively BF, refused to pump or give child a bottle, so he could to not have visits over an hour or had to be with you. Baby could get Breast Milk through pumping and a bottle but it was not a priority for you and an easy way to restrict his visitation. You enrolled her in Sunday school, which interfered with his visits.

NP here. I see what you mean, however:
- some people can't pump (I was one of those).
- he could have co-slept too.
- he can choose another time for his visits, and introduce his child to his religion as well.

If you cannot pun, then baby gets formula. Not everyone is comfortable co-sleeping. The religion issue may have interfered with his visits.

[Anonymous]

Parental alienation does exist and ignoring it will not make it go away. I don't have any specific recommendations for therapists but sounds like you need a new one. Psychology today is a good resource.

And maybe you should finding one for yourself, since you are in a tough situation and it's always a good idea to make sure your head is on straight and you are handling things in healthiest way possible.

To the breastfeeding PP, it may not rise to the level of alienation but it does seem like you were making it very difficult for your child to spend time with and bond with his child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the opposite side of this in that I have been accused of parental alienation since DD was an infant. I breastfed because I felt that was best for her. When she refused a bottle, her dad said it was parental alienation. I coslept from infancy through her toddler years and he said it was parental alienation. I enrolled her in Sunday school as a preschooler and he (a secular Jew) said it was parental alienation. We went to court a lot. To be honest, I am not certain parental alienation even exists because the therapist we saw by Cory order argued it didn't. He was concerned about emotional abuse from the false accusations and repeated court actions.

I would say a relationship with her father is "best", certainly more important than exclusively breastfeeding. Science would back this up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the opposite side of this in that I have been accused of parental alienation since DD was an infant. I breastfed because I felt that was best for her. When she refused a bottle, her dad said it was parental alienation. I coslept from infancy through her toddler years and he said it was parental alienation. I enrolled her in Sunday school as a preschooler and he (a secular Jew) said it was parental alienation. We went to court a lot. To be honest, I am not certain parental alienation even exists because the therapist we saw by Cory order argued it didn't. He was concerned about emotional abuse from the false accusations and repeated court actions.

I would say a relationship with her father is "best", certainly more important than exclusively breastfeeding. Science would back this up.

I would have loved to have given expressed breast milk in a bottle for multiple reasons. However, she would not accept a bottle of any thing (breast milk, formula, water, juice, etc.) from any one including the pediatrician and the high priced night nanny that her father hired. He actually did have visitation with her despite her refusal to eat, he just felt my breasts had spoiled the experience for him.

Like wise, he had the Friday night through Sunday am visitation that he requested so Sunday School didn't interfere, he just didn't want her to learn Christianity.

As for co sleeping, he tried to argue that it made him look like a bad guy to put her in a crib.

To the PP who believes the problem was our family therapist, my ex had a chance to bring into court a therapist who would argue that parental alienation exists. Over the course of six years, he never did. Even when he knew I was bringing an expert who said it didn't exist.

Despite his belief that simple parenting actions on my part would devastate his relationship with DD that hasn't happened. She has expressed to the therapist that he seems insecure and asks too many questions about me, but she clearly loves him.

I feel for anyone going through this. It's sad.

[Anonymous]

Your ex is a disgruntled a hole. He's crazy to think his needs come before a infant that needs to be breast feed. As for your time with your child, not his business. I wouldn't tell him what you do with your daughter or Sunday school since it's on your time. He can do the same and expose her to the Jewish faith etc. All you can do is minimize contact with him as much as possible.
He's only dragging you into court because he's mad about the break up, all you can do there is try to retain a great lawyer to protect yourself.
If he keeps wasting the court's time with these kinds of things, it can end up biting him in the butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the opposite side of this in that I have been accused of parental alienation since DD was an infant. I breastfed because I felt that was best for her. When she refused a bottle, her dad said it was parental alienation. I coslept from infancy through her toddler years and he said it was parental alienation. I enrolled her in Sunday school as a preschooler and he (a secular Jew) said it was parental alienation. We went to court a lot. To be honest, I am not certain parental alienation even exists because the therapist we saw by Cory order argued it didn't. He was concerned about emotional abuse from the false accusations and repeated court actions.

I would say a relationship with her father is "best", certainly more important than exclusively breastfeeding. Science would back this up.

I would have loved to have given expressed breast milk in a bottle for multiple reasons. However, she would not accept a bottle of any thing (breast milk, formula, water, juice, etc.) from any one including the pediatrician and the high priced night nanny that her father hired. He actually did have visitation with her despite her refusal to eat, he just felt my breasts had spoiled the experience for him.

Like wise, he had the Friday night through Sunday am visitation that he requested so Sunday School didn't interfere, he just didn't want her to learn Christianity.

As for co sleeping, he tried to argue that it made him look like a bad guy to put her in a crib.

To the PP who believes the problem was our family therapist, my ex had a chance to bring into court a therapist who would argue that parental alienation exists. Over the course of six years, he never did. Even when he knew I was bringing an expert who said it didn't exist.

Despite his belief that simple parenting actions on my part would devastate his relationship with DD that hasn't happened. She has expressed to the therapist that he seems insecure and asks too many questions about me, but she clearly loves him.

I feel for anyone going through this. It's sad.

I would go back to court to stop the so called "family therapy". He's not part of your family, and this therapy is forcing you to be with your abuser. What he is doing is called, Abusive Stalking Using The Court System, or Abuse Of Process. He's abusing the courts to pay you back, which isn't too uncommon. Next time he threatens to take you to court, let him know you and your lawyer will file papers to have him punished and modifying the agreement. Talk to your lawyer about this and be ready with a game plan. Otherwise, I would get him out of your life except for child exchanges. Don't engage, don't let him know your business or what you and daughter do when it's your time with her.
As much as possible you need to move forward, not empowering him further.





Apparently he has bad feelings about the break up.