Low libido

[Anonymous]

My DW has told me that her libido is low. We haven't had sex in months. She says it's not me but I can't help feeling like it is. I've stopped trying to initiate sex because I don't want her to feel pressured, but she never seems to want it. A while back she said she was going to see a doctor about possibly adjusting her already low dosage of Prosac or bc pill, but still hasn't yet. I'm feeling stuck and pretty damn lonely.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? If so, how old? Has she always been low libido?

[Anonymous]

We have one child, five years old. DW was not always low libido- we had a pretty good sex life for many years. The low libido started about a year ago, I think.

[Anonymous]

why is she on prozac? That tells me she has other issues that might be affecting her mood, no? BC pills are notorious for decreasing libido. Are you done with kids? If so, think about getting a vasectomy to get her off the pill, or try some non hormonal bc.

[Anonymous]

Thank you. Good ideas, all of them.

[Anonymous]

This happens in most marriages... Lesson is: don't get married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why is she on prozac? That tells me she has other issues that might be affecting her mood, no? BC pills are notorious for decreasing libido. Are you done with kids? If so, think about getting a vasectomy to get her off the pill, or try some non hormonal bc.

My DW getting off hormonal BC helped after I got snipped. Not ideal but she has desire on occasion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why is she on prozac? That tells me she has other issues that might be affecting her mood, no? BC pills are notorious for decreasing libido. Are you done with kids? If so, think about getting a vasectomy to get her off the pill, or try some non hormonal bc.

My DW getting off hormonal BC helped after I got snipped. Not ideal but she has desire on occasion.

Isn't it ironic.. that a BC pill makes a woman not want to have sex? Why didn't Alanis use that in her song?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DW has told me that her libido is low. We haven't had sex in months. She says it's not me but I can't help feeling like it is. I've stopped trying to initiate sex because I don't want her to feel pressured, but she never seems to want it. A while back she said she was going to see a doctor about possibly adjusting her already low dosage of Prosac or bc pill, but still hasn't yet. I'm feeling stuck and pretty damn lonely.

I always joked that BC pills work by making you not want to have sex DH got a vasectomy and getting off of BC helped me a lot. Prozac is notorious for killing sex drive as well (maybe try an antidepressant that doesn't have sexual side effects). The only other thing I will say is that libido can be a use it or lose it thing sometime too. I started masturbating every other day, and then every day and while it was a little forced at first my libido has improved a great deal as a result.

[Anonymous]

Prozac and birth control can both kill libido. Don't take it personally, op.

[Anonymous]

Are you done having kids? Get a vasectomy if so bc then she can go off the pill. That might help.

[Anonymous]

Wait. You have not had sex in MONTHS?
You have a serious problem and an anonymous message board won't solve it. Especially this one.

Go read NMMNG and MMSLP. And find some therapy for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Months turn into years. The secret is for most women getting older and more settled means desire for sex drops. The connections in the brain are elastic. As pathways are used they because stronger and easier to uses. The reverse is true also. So no desire and no sex leads to more no desire and no sex. Studies have shown most women are just not that into sex. There will be a few on the outside of the curve, but they are the exception. There is very little you can do. Viagra works because men have desire. With women who have no desire, so no magic pill. See where she is on fantasizing and masturbating. Sometimes you can build for there, but if she just never thinks about about it, it very hard to turn around.

[Anonymous]

Certainly there IS something he can/should do. STOP MEETING HER NEEDS! Whatever special nice things you do for her, STOP. Treat her like a roommate. I am not saying to be MEAN, I am saying to basically ignore her except for the basics of living together. She wants a platonic relationship, give her exactly that.

Then go out and start enjoying your life independent from your platonic roommate. Do things where there will be alot of women. Take classes for spinning, yoga, swing dancing. There is no point in you suffering from loneliness on her account. Get busy living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Months turn into years. The secret is for most women getting older and more settled means desire for sex drops. The connections in the brain are elastic. As pathways are used they because stronger and easier to uses. The reverse is true also. So no desire and no sex leads to more no desire and no sex. Studies have shown most women are just not that into sex. There will be a few on the outside of the curve, but they are the exception. There is very little you can do. Viagra works because men have desire. With women who have no desire, so no magic pill. See where she is on fantasizing and masturbating. Sometimes you can build for there, but if she just never thinks about about it, it very hard to turn around.

Crazy so many men still get married. I always warn my guy friends.