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My coworker make a snarky remark yesterday about how often I speak to my husband. We normally talk on the phone in the morning on our way to work and then again in the evening on our way back until we get home. We also chat off and on via messenger throughout the day. We don't HAVE to, of course, if I'm on the phone with my mom or a friend for a part of that, that's not a big deal. But then once that call is over, we are back on the phone. We also talk on the phone if one of us is out running errands and, if one of us is out of town, we talk on video all evening until bed time. I never thought of this as excessive, it's not like he's calling and I don't want to talk or vice versa, it's very mutual and it comes naturally. Just like we would talk if we were both home.
Anyway, coworker says she would never have that much to talk to her husband about and that she doesn't see the need to talk that much. I find that kinda sad, but I realize that I may actually be in a minority. So what's the norm in your house? |
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Well- we talk in the morning (I'm a SAHM so I'm usually here while he's getting ready for work). We check in once during the day- usually the afternoon he'll text to make sure all is ok). He calls me every single day on the way home from work. Frankly this call I could do without as I'm trying to get dinner ready, help kids with homework etc. But, for whatever reason, he just really likes to chat on the way home from work.
We text off and on as well if he's not too busy. He'll send me articles or ask about dates for trips etc. |
| We talk fairly often...mornings for a while, during the day on the phone, on walks together with the dog, at dinner, after dinner, in bed...probably a couple of hours of conversation a day. We've been together for 29 years. |
| When do you actually do your work? Between messaging your husband and talking to your mom and friends, THAT is probably more of your coworkers problem. |
| We talk a lot at home and will talk on messenger/text throughout the day. I don't really get to be on the phone or internet a lot at work so we mostly catch up during lunch or if I ever have down time. Or if I'm running errands. DH and I both HATE talking on the phone so it is rare that we will ever call each other unless it is for something quick. |
Yeah, I'm kind of wondering if she said that in a passive aggressive way. Like "wow you talk to him ALL the time. Like ALL the time" trying to hint that you spend way too much time socializing at work. |
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DH and I communicate a lot.. but we don't like to talk on the phone. We do chat messenger all day at work. Talking on the phone is quite disruptive to the work environment especially when someone is doing multiple calls in a day. DH and I talk before dinner, during dinner, and we try to talk before bedtime. We also go on dates on the weekends- sit in a coffee shop for a few hours to chat. When we go on kidless vacations and prefer to just sit and talk rather than run around. I don't know of any other couples in our circle that talk as much as we do.
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| We rarely talk. When he gets home from work which is really late. So ten minutes. |
| We talk through dinner and before bed a lot. DH travels for work a lot (100k+ miles) and we can't talk when he's gone, just text. It used to physically hurt that we couldn't talk on the phone when he's gone, but you get used to it. Longest we've gone was 3 weeks when he didn't have internet even to text. We have a great relationship. |
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I shared an office with a coworker who talked to her DH multiple times a day on the phone. It was really clear they didn't spend much time at HOME talking, so they had to talk while at work. This meant they also had to fight while at work. Nothing more awkward than hearing a coworker bitch out her DH while you just sit there pretending you can't hear every single word.
My DH and I talk before work, usually chat via messenger for a few minutes during the day, and then talk when we both get home after work. Sometimes we check in via phone if that's easier than messenger/text. |
This! OP, it seems like you are making a lot of personal calls when you should be working. save it for your lunch break unless it's an emergency. Maybe even a quick I love you text wouldn't be a big deal, but it seems like your head is constantly buried in your phone which is not a good look to your coworkers or your superiors. |
The call to husband, mom and friends are on my way home from work, not while I'm at work. |
This is us. Minus the call on the way home |
See reply above. I never talk to husband on the phone at work unless it is an emergency. |
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DH calls me when he leaves for work, and has gotten the kids off to school to let me know how the morning went, or if there is anything I need to know. That's usually about 5 min, max.
I try to text him once during the day just to say hi, but I often forget. We'll email if something comes up. DH then calls when he leaves work to say he's on his way and ask if I need him to pick anything up. Again, 5 minutes, max. We talk at dinner, sometimes after dinner and kids are in bedrooms, and in bed. Dates once a week. Therapist once a week. |