Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

My wife had my now 17year old son @ 41, and my soon to be 21year old DD at 37. Our first turned 37 this year - huge gap. We're stupid, crazy, all of the above...they keep us young though..lol


PSA: Have kids when you're in your twenties. Should of listened to our parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife had my now 17year old son @ 41, and my soon to be 21year old DD at 37. Our first turned 37 this year - huge gap. We're stupid, crazy, all of the above...they keep us young though..lol


PSA: Have all your kids when you're in your twenties. Should of listened to our parents.

Since this is an old thread I may have posted in it before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, please remember that bitterness, envy and worry, all shorten your life in much the same way as cigarette smoking. Don't listen to the negativity. I had my first at 38, 2nd at 40 and 3rd at 42. Now at 51 years people think I am in my early 40's (actually had a 20 something think I was 38). I had no pregnancy problems, nursed all three, all three are healthy, happy, thriving young children. Yes my last one was a bit more difficult with the sleep deprivation and I do have moments of worry that I will not be around for grandchildren but they keep me young, active and healthy for now and I wouldn't change a thing. In hindsight, if I had-had the choice, I would have preferred all by age 38 but the cards were not dealt that way for me. Also, I think older parents make better parents because we are completely done with "sowing our wild seeds" and "self absorbed all about me years". So honey it is all about what you and your husband want and NO ONE else matters. If you are healthy and in a healthy supportive marriage GO FOR IT, you will not regret it.

Your oldest is 9, so you've not yet hit the teen years. While I doubt you are 51 and look 38, this certainly won't be true once the teen years are upon you.

And older parents are no more qualified than those who parent in their 20's or 30's. It does not always give you an advantage of patience, money or anything else. If anything, I have found that older parents regret having children more because they lived the child-free life longer and find the transition difficult or not as wonderful as they thought it would be.

Where are you finding all of the “older” parents who regret having kids? I have not met them.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the argument that people should not have kids later in life because they will have to save for college and retirement at the same time. Don’t younger parents save for college and retirement at the same time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife had my now 17year old son @ 41, and my soon to be 21year old DD at 37. Our first turned 37 this year - huge gap. We're stupid, crazy, all of the above...they keep us young though..lol


PSA: Have kids when you're in your twenties. Should of listened to our parents.

Should HAVE, dumba**. You have no credibility. Why should anyone listen to anything you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife had my now 17year old son @ 41, and my soon to be 21year old DD at 37. Our first turned 37 this year - huge gap. We're stupid, crazy, all of the above...they keep us young though..lol


PSA: Have kids when you're in your twenties. Should of listened to our parents.

Should HAVE, dumba**. You have no credibility. Why should anyone listen to anything you say?

WTF is your problem, panties too tight?

[Anonymous]

Not if you have a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife had my now 17year old son @ 41, and my soon to be 21year old DD at 37. Our first turned 37 this year - huge gap. We're stupid, crazy, all of the above...they keep us young though..lol


PSA: Have kids when you're in your twenties. Should of listened to our parents.

If your oldest is 37 and your wife had your youngest 17 years ago at the age of 41....that means that there is a twenty year age difference between your oldest and your youngest which means that your wife had your oldest when she was 21. You did listen to your parents after all, you just exceeded their expectations by having a kid in your 30's and another kid in your 40's, too .

[Anonymous]

I had my youngest at 40. I am generally physically not very high energy and so in another decade or so things sort of became harder for me. I get by with outsourcing stuff at home. It is doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is 54 and our kids are 18,16,11 her sister is 55 and all three kids married and moved out of state and she is lonely and sad in an empty house.

I don't believe it! I am 48 and all my three kids are in college now. I am so happy in empty house! I travel a lot and truly don't want to deal with teenagers in my 50s on a daily basis.

You are my sister. She had them at 25, 27 and 29. She was married only 1 year prior. She has never been out of the Country.
I married at 28 and my husband and I decided to wait to have kids. We were having too much fun and not ready.

I got pregnant on the first try at a few months before 35 and 37. I had my kids at 35 and 38.
By waiting, my office had full-time telework. If I had them sooner, I would not have been able to WAH and I would have seen them less. I was in the Office for the first 10 years.
My husband and I traveled extensively in our YOUTH (20s/30s). We even took a sabbatical and lived in Europe. Traveled and partied prior to having kids. Since we were DINKs, we traveled very nice. We stayed in very nice hotels, but we were also young enough to go Clubbing and to all of the Festivals in Europe that 50+ years old don't venture. We stayed out all night.
We saved a good amount of $ for being married 7 years prior to having kids so we were in a good financial place. I was senior level in my career which afforded lots of flexibility. I wasn't building my career at the same time I was starting a family.

I say this to show that there are true benefits to either side. My husband and I are extremely fit and athletic. We have lots of energy. My kids are 10 and 13. I am 48. I will be 54/56 when they leave for college, but I still won't be eligible to receive full retirement then even though I will have 30 years with the Feds then. So, the years I waited to have kids have been worth it and I will still be working until they finish college. Then, I will be eligible for retirement.

My kids were very lucky to know my parents well. They had many sleepovers. They came to all of my kids' sporting events/games. We spent all of our Holidays together. My dad passed away from cancer this year at 76 years old.. The only true regret I have is that he didn't see them grow to be adults. My sister's youngest is 18 so they had the benefit of having my awesome dad/grandpa their entire childhood/teens. Anyone would have easily thought my dad would live well into his 80s because he was so fit and young for his age. I always thought he would see my oldest graduate HS. Granted, in life, you never know what will happen and I realize I am very, very lucky because there are people that lost their parents much, much younger and their kids never even met their grandparents.

I sometimes wish I had started younger so that my dad would have had even more time with them, but then I do think if I had a lot of other things would not have been in place, particularly my job. My mom did have me in her 20s and my granddad passed away when I was 14, not much older than my oldest when his grandpa passed away and I have vivid memories of him.

I do know that I, personally, would not be ready for an empty nest at my age or even 50. I am loving every minute right now. My boys have been very easy and since we did most of the grunt work before I gave birth in building careers, investing, buying homes, etc., we aren't stressed out parents.

I know I didn't want kids after 40. But, I was lucky things worked out the way I wanted them to. My sister has had a hard time adjusting to an empty nest at 50. Her and her husband did not have all of the alone time prior. She went through a mini-crisis, but they now seem to be getting the swing of it and stepping out more. She did have a harder time juggling her career with the kids since she had them soon after starting her job.

41 is not too old. It might be too old for me and you. It might be just right for OP. The energy level I see from people my own age and my husband and I and the way they look in general can be MARKEDLY different. Everyone is different was the point of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife had my now 17year old son @ 41, and my soon to be 21year old DD at 37. Our first turned 37 this year - huge gap. We're stupid, crazy, all of the above...they keep us young though..lol


PSA: Have kids when you're in your twenties. Should of listened to our parents.

If your oldest is 37 and your wife had your youngest 17 years ago at the age of 41....that means that there is a twenty year age difference between your oldest and your youngest which means that your wife had your oldest when she was 21. You did listen to your parents after all, you just exceeded their expectations by having a kid in your 30's and another kid in your 40's, too .

It should of read "all your kids". We sort of listened,lol, but then careers took over, didn't want anymore, then bought a six bedroom house and decided to fill it . It wasn't bad having them late in life, at least in their early years, but it's when they got to MS & HS. All the running between different school/club team sports (they were/are very active), back to back social activities, plus they went to p- school out of the area so the commuting came into play. Then and now the college prep and search, visiting colleges....all this while you're in YOUR late 50's....

If you're independently wealthy, go for it!

[Anonymous]

We adopted, me 41, wife 43. She is out of the house in college now and what a relief not dealing with a teenager when we did. I love her but it was crazy. Have kids earlier is my verdict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have a second but I just feel that 41 is too old. Maybe not now but I bet I'll really feel it in my mid-50s. To those who have the life experience, what are your thoughts?

Trust your gut. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We adopted, me 41, wife 43. She is out of the house in college now and what a relief not dealing with a teenager when we did. I love her but it was crazy. Have kids earlier is my verdict.

I a crappy studio, while unmarried and working an entry level job while paying student loans? No thanks. At 40, you can hire help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We adopted, me 41, wife 43. She is out of the house in college now and what a relief not dealing with a teenager when we did. I love her but it was crazy. Have kids earlier is my verdict.

I a crappy studio, while unmarried and working an entry level job while paying student loans? No thanks. At 40, you can hire help.

There's a happy medium somewhere in there.