Reply to Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife is 54 and our kids are 18,16,11 her sister is 55 and all three kids married and moved out of state and she is lonely and sad in an empty house. [/quote]

I don't believe it! I am 48 and all my three kids are in college now. I am so happy in empty house! I travel a lot and truly don't want to deal with teenagers in my 50s on a daily basis. [/quote]

You are my sister.  She had them at 25, 27 and 29.  She was married only 1 year prior.  She has never been out of the Country.
I married at 28 and my husband and I decided to wait to have kids.  We were having too much fun and not ready.

I got pregnant on the first try at a few months before 35 and 37. I had my kids at 35 and 38.
By waiting, my office had full-time telework. If I had them sooner, I would not have been able to WAH and I would have seen them less.  I was in the Office for the first 10 years.
My husband and I traveled extensively in our YOUTH (20s/30s).  We even took a sabbatical and lived in Europe.  Traveled and partied prior to having kids.  Since we were DINKs, we traveled very nice.  We stayed in very nice hotels, but we were also young enough to go Clubbing and to all of the Festivals in Europe that 50+ years old don't venture.  We stayed out all night.
We saved a good amount of $ for being married 7 years prior to having kids so we were in a good financial place. I was senior level in my career which afforded lots of flexibility.  I wasn't building my career at the same time I was starting a family.

I say this to show that there are true benefits to either side.  My husband and I are extremely fit and athletic.  We have lots of energy.  My kids are 10 and 13.  I am 48.  I will be 54/56 when they leave for college, but I still won't be eligible to receive full retirement then even though I will have 30 years with the Feds then.  So, the years I waited to have kids have been worth it and I will still be working until they finish college.  Then, I will be eligible for retirement.

My kids were very lucky to know my parents well.  They had many sleepovers.  They came to all of my kids' sporting events/games.  We spent all of our Holidays together.  My dad passed away from cancer this year at 76 years old..  The only true regret I have is that he didn't see them grow to be adults.  My sister's youngest is 18 so they had the benefit of having my awesome dad/grandpa their entire childhood/teens.  Anyone would have easily thought my dad would live well into his 80s because he was so fit and young for his age. I always thought he would see my oldest graduate HS.  Granted, in life,  you never know what will happen and I realize I am very, very lucky because there are people that lost their parents much, much younger and their kids never even met their grandparents.

I sometimes wish I had started younger so that my dad would have had even more time with them, but then I do think if I had a lot of other things would not have been in place, particularly my job.  My mom did have me in her 20s and my granddad passed away when I was 14, not much older than my oldest when his grandpa passed away and I have vivid memories of him.

I do know that I, personally, would not be ready for an empty nest at my age or even 50.   I am loving every minute right now.  My boys have been very easy and since we did most of the grunt work before I gave birth in building careers, investing, buying homes, etc., we aren't stressed out parents.

I know I didn't want kids after 40.  But, I was lucky things worked out the way I wanted them to.  My sister has had a hard time adjusting to an empty nest at 50.  Her and her husband did not have all of the alone time prior.  She went through a mini-crisis, but they now seem to be getting the swing of it and stepping out more.  She did have a harder time juggling her career with the kids since she had them soon after starting her job.

41 is not too old.  It might be too old for me and you.  It might be just right for OP.  The energy level I see from people my own age and my husband and I and the way they look in general can be MARKEDLY different.  Everyone is different was the point of this.
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