Facetime at the office -- kids pickup

[Anonymous]

I'm a DH and I leave at 330 to pickup kids from school. Are we in a modern era where this is not going to hurt my career growth, or am I deluding myself? Would it impact my DW career less if she did it? Or are we just both stuck as working parents?

[Anonymous]

1. Yes, you are deluding yourself.

2. Yes.

3. Yes.

[Anonymous]

Does your school offer aftercare? I have to think that would be an issue, unless you start at 7am. Even then . . .

[Anonymous]

1. Yes
2. No. Don't dump it on her.
3. Yes

[Anonymous]

Do you work full time? Do you complete your work after bedtime?
Why not use aftercare and leave more like 4:30?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on what time you get in and your office culture. It would be fine at my job..though you would probably need to start around 6 am. It would also be good if you could be a bit flexible on certain days for a meeting.

[Anonymous]

1. Generally yes, but it wouldn't in my office (but the people who leave at 3:30 are in at 7 and then available on email at 4:30 and into the evening).

2. Again, it depends on your DW's office, but generally speaking 3:30 is early for working moms too.

3. Pretty much. There are things you can do to mitigate, but but two parents working in middle-level jobs that value face time is difficult. I have a "lesser", more flexible job with a lower salary so that I can do drop offs, pick ups, and sick days. But this is what works for my family. Your family's needs (and resources) may be different.

[Anonymous]

You need aftercare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Yes, you are deluding yourself.

2. Yes.

3. Yes.

This.
4:30 would be better. That works in my office but everyone gets in early before 8.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash: childrearing hurts womens careers because typically they bear the brunt of the childcare. The only way to make this situation more fair is for the husband to take his fair share - which yes, means that he cannot have the same work habits as he did prekids. Now you will have to consider all the same things working moms have for decades: finding workplace where people don't hold parenting against you; being super focused during the day; consciously dialing back ambitions in order to combine work and home life.

[Anonymous]

In my office this would be fine but you would not be considered for promotion. You just wouldn't be on anyone's radar as someone who wanted to advance.
In my office lower level people do the getting in at 7am thing but at higher levels it's all about the top boss seeing you, and he's not going to see you at 7am. But you can bet he will notice you aren't there at 430!

[Anonymous]

It depends on your office. My husband is at work by 5:30am so that he can pick up the kids after school. This only works because many people in his office including the boss is in at 6am. School has aftercare as well so if something big is happening at work and he needs to stay the kids can go to aftercare for the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

I don't think facetime is that important. But 3:30 is WAY too early to leave. I still have a lot of meetings in the 4pm hour. I would be upset if my coworkers were all leaving that early. What about putting the kids in aftercare?

This is yet another reason it's ridiculous for the schools to have a significantly shorter day than working parents. Schools need to go until 4 or 4:30 to accommodate parents.

[Anonymous]

I leave at 3 everyday, and start at 8. I officially work (and get paid) only 80% time or whatever it works out to be. It hasn't hurt my advancement, though I sometimes take myself out of the running for projects if I know the intensity will be beyond what I want to do. But occasionally I'll take projects that mean I need to work all hours, and I'll do that. I probably do 2 or 3 of those a year, each one lasting 6 weeks or so. I also still travel and when I do I work more than full time. So I guess the answer is no, the leaving at 3 hasn't hurt me because I make it clear in other ways I am willing to work hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I leave at 3 everyday, and start at 8. I officially work (and get paid) only 80% time or whatever it works out to be. It hasn't hurt my advancement, though I sometimes take myself out of the running for projects if I know the intensity will be beyond what I want to do. But occasionally I'll take projects that mean I need to work all hours, and I'll do that. I probably do 2 or 3 of those a year, each one lasting 6 weeks or so. I also still travel and when I do I work more than full time. So I guess the answer is no, the leaving at 3 hasn't hurt me because I make it clear in other ways I am willing to work hard.

What do you do?