Facetime at the office -- kids pickup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single dad who runs a large department. I am absolutely out the door at 5. And I am pretty flexible when it comes to getting work done. The big thing is results. Good managers know this. Paranoid managers or under performing managers use facetime as a metric to cull the herd and cover their own poor performance.

What I will say is suddenly becoming a single parent of small children has fundamental changed my views of feminism, work place discrimination and the "mom" tax so many women pay. It is the one good thing I can point to when I think about my situation.

5 is completely different than 3:30. School in MoCo ends at 3:45 (most schools), an hour, hour and a half of aftercare is not harmful. My daughter gets a snack, recess, does homework, and then had more free time with her friends.

An alternative work schedule where one parent works and leaves early is also acceptable, but you are kidding yourself if you want to get ahead and leave at 3:30 each day.

I work from 8 to 3:30, and my husband works from 7 to 3.

We're doing fine. not looking to be on anyone's radar - We both want to be there for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

It's not. tens of thousands of kids do this everyday. Some even to 6pm. Kids often beg to be able to continue playing with their friends even after you show up to pick them up.

Ridiculous. Just because many kids have to stay at aftercare late to accomodate their parents' work schedules, doesn't mean this is good for them. They've already had a long day at school. They need to have downtime and alone time - neither of which they can get if they're staying at aftercare until 6pm.

Depends on the kid. What my DS needed was time to run around and play with his friends. He couldn't do that when he came straight home from school because all his friends were at extended day. He was begging me to go back to work so he could go to extended day. I did eventually, when youngest was in K, and he was thrilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

It's not. tens of thousands of kids do this everyday. Some even to 6pm. Kids often beg to be able to continue playing with their friends even after you show up to pick them up.

Ridiculous. Just because many kids have to stay at aftercare late to accomodate their parents' work schedules, doesn't mean this is good for them. They've already had a long day at school. They need to have downtime and alone time - neither of which they can get if they're staying at aftercare until 6pm.

Lol. Poor snow flake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

It's not. tens of thousands of kids do this everyday. Some even to 6pm. Kids often beg to be able to continue playing with their friends even after you show up to pick them up.

Ridiculous. Just because many kids have to stay at aftercare late to accomodate their parents' work schedules, doesn't mean this is good for them. They've already had a long day at school. They need to have downtime and alone time - neither of which they can get if they're staying at aftercare until 6pm.

I'm guessing you've never step foot into extended day before.

[Anonymous]

lol yes you are deluding yourself. I can't believe this is even a question. I mean, it's fine if you don't want to get promoted and you're happy where you are now. But yeah I would not promote someone who leaves at 3:30 everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get to the office at 7, and am available by phone and email anytime.

But consensus is 3:30 is too early? Kids being in aftercare till 5 seems like crazy long day.

Ok, new question, how do I ramp up my career so DW can stay home? I came from a small town and my parents were barely lower middle class -- I really have no idea how to hustle especially now that we have kids? I worked hard early on but I thought a salary of 70k was amazing, bc my parents home cost less than that. There's been a hard lesson on how life is in 'real' world outside my dying home town.

We want to prioritize our kids, but need to have money to live off, and around here that means two working parents for those of us without 'BIG' career...

It's not. tens of thousands of kids do this everyday. Some even to 6pm. Kids often beg to be able to continue playing with their friends even after you show up to pick them up.

Ridiculous. Just because many kids have to stay at aftercare late to accomodate their parents' work schedules, doesn't mean this is good for them. They've already had a long day at school. They need to have downtime and alone time - neither of which they can get if they're staying at aftercare until 6pm.

"accommodate their parents work" wtf. Parents need to work to make money so the kids can survive and eat. Kids love aftercare. I personally think school should run for 8 hours just like a normal work day. 2 hours of recess would be great if that worked during those 8 hours. Kids need more physical activity and parents need more flexibility at work.

[Anonymous]

Look the people in your office, like your boss, will just see you as leaving at 3:30 every day which is extremely early. Like at least 2 HOURS too early. They don't give a shit that it's to go pick up your kids. They don't care that you have kids to be frank. How you are perceived and thus your prospects for advancement are all about what you do for them (the office). I can't believe you need this spelled out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think facetime is that important. But 3:30 is WAY too early to leave. I still have a lot of meetings in the 4pm hour. I would be upset if my coworkers were all leaving that early. What about putting the kids in aftercare?

This is yet another reason it's ridiculous for the schools to have a significantly shorter day than working parents. Schools need to go until 4 or 4:30 to accommodate parents.

Will you listen to yourself? That is a long day for kids. Why not put an effort into changing the culture of these offices? Everyone is clamoring for "family friendly" but when it comes down to it they want to preserve work at all costs and make kids pay for it. Work should be the flexible one here. It can happen but everyone is to busy being suckers.

Easy answer: don't have kids. No one has it all. You have to choose and every choice has a trade off.

Obviously, not everyone wants to have kids. For the people who don't, shouldn't they be free to work as hard as they can to advance quicker than those who prefer to take time off and be at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally depends on the office. My husband has a fairly flexible job and a lot of seniority, but there is no way he could leave at 3:30 every day no matter what time he got to the office in the morning. I could (and did) easily walk out at 3:00 every day. As long as I show up to meetings and complete my work on time, no one cares when I come or go. I am always available by email or text if I'm needed.

Let me guess: you're mommy tracked.

[Anonymous]

My direct supervisor participates in this practice. Sometimes I love it (no rules!), sometimes I hate it (d'oh this email will have to wait until tomorrow!). Sometimes, he strikes the right balance and the team is satisfied. How does he do it? By responding to outstanding emails, projects, and requests until 8pm or so from the comfort of his couch. Frankly, I couldn't care less about where he is when he works so long as workflow is not interrupted. The hour or so of downtime between 3:30 and 5:00 is rarely an issue. If you can adopt this practice, I strongly recommend doing so.

[Anonymous]

Aftercare.
By being cheapo and not using it you're undermining your own earning potential (and possibly job security should your company ever need to downsize).

If you're a fed who maxed out on the grade and steps already (or not maxed out but not interested in moving up) - then by all means do it. feds get away with murder in many agencies.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to even say what I thought this thread was about lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think facetime is that important. But 3:30 is WAY too early to leave. I still have a lot of meetings in the 4pm hour. I would be upset if my coworkers were all leaving that early. What about putting the kids in aftercare?

This is yet another reason it's ridiculous for the schools to have a significantly shorter day than working parents. Schools need to go until 4 or 4:30 to accommodate parents.

School is not daycare, loser.

Why can't people understand that?

And what would a kid absorb after that much learning time? I can't get adults to absorb more than 7 hrs of information in a training day.

[Anonymous]

It really depends what industry you're in and how much your company values work/life balance. I work at a tech firm where they value that and there are people who come to work at noon and stay until 8 or 9pm, or work from home three days a week, because that's the schedule that works for them.

But at some places that wouldn't fly. You need to be able to read your company, your industry. Litigation lawyer? Probably won't work. Software developer? No problem.

[Anonymous]

please, my kids are in school 9-4 already. the 4-:530 that they are in aftercare, they spend having a snack, sometimes doing homework, sometimes playing on the playground and sometimes playing board games in small groups. It's not the chain-gang that some people seem to think it is, and my kids get to play with more kids from their grade than they would in our small cul-de-sac.

I agree it depends on the culture of your office and your role, but I'm amazed at how many people don't understand that people have lives outside of work, and it doesn't mean people have to stay locked at their desks to get their work done.