Potty Trained Four Year Old will NOT Poop in Big Toilet!

[DJS]

My 4 year old DS has been potty trained for OVER A YEAR without any accident; however, he refuses to use the big toilet for poop. I tried to transition at his own pace while encouraging him, but he would always pick the potty chair, and he even promised me that he would start using the big toilet after he turns 4. Well, he turned 4 and he never made good of the promise. I am very sick and tired of cleaning his potty chair and told him so, so he started to try to clean his potty chair, which made me feel even more nervous because he'd make a mess. Eww. He's used the toilet to poop a few times long time ago but I am not sure what caused the strong resistance/fear to poop in the toilet. I tried asking him why, he said he doesn't like it when the it "plops". I've tried to use toilet paper on top of the water to stop the plopping but he didn't buy it. Now he just says he doesn't like the toilet. What do I do? Am I alone here with this problem? I tried looking up on the internet and seems like most potty trained kids transition to the toilet fully very early on after being potty trained. I took the small potty chair tonight and now he's holding his poop. i hope it doesn't backfire on me... Help!

[Anonymous]

This will totally backfire on you into a downward spiral of withholding and constipation. Do not take the potty away. Just let him keep pooping there, stay calm, offer some big rewards for pooping in the potty. Cleaning poop out of a potty is much better than years of constipation, trust me!!

[Anonymous]

^^ obviously I mean reward pooping in the toilet.

[Anonymous]

I think it'll backfire too. Just give him the chair.

[Anonymous]

I have a 4.5 yo daughter who has been pooping on the adult potty since age 3. We're totally into bribes and the first poopy prize was huge - a new princess dress (as compared to the M and Ms she got for pee). I'd try to find something that motivates him and then reward, reward, reward. My 2 yo daughter actually refuses to use the Baby Bjorn potties and will only use the one her sister uses (with a toilet ring) which I guess is a good thing since we don't have to clean out the potty... That leads to another idea - peer pressure. Does he have an older sibling, cousin or friend that could show him how the big kids do it?

[Anonymous]

I'd try headphones if it's the noise that disturbs him--you can pick some up at Home Depot. Try to have him sit on the toilet for 5-10 minutes after meals to stimulate the elimination reflex. Let him know the potty chair is going away. Praise and reward him for pooping on the toilet.

[Anonymous]

He says it's about the plopping, but I wonder if it's really about the lack of ability to get in a squat? Squatty potty, maybe, or something similar?

[Anonymous]

Yep, offer a huge reward for the "ice breaker" and if he's really dug in that far to convince himself that he doesn't like it, have some backup bribes on hand too. Like one per day for a week, and by then I'm guessing he's going to be acclimating a bit more to it.

It's become such a "thing" now that the reward has to be something that will outshine his conviction.

[Anonymous]

Also, it wouldn't hurt to mention now & then in a conversational tone (not an accusatory one and not while he's using the bathroom) that so and so (younger than him) is using the toilet now, isn't that great? No one wants to be the baby. If it's reinforced that the potty is for babies and he has peers who know he uses the baby potty, it can also be a nudge. "A friend exclaiming with genuine surprise, wow you still use a potty?" can work wonders.

And can you think of anyone he would want to have a brag about it with? (Call to grandma or some other positive person who will congratulate him.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 4.5 yo daughter who has been pooping on the adult potty since age 3. We're totally into bribes and the first poopy prize was huge - a new princess dress (as compared to the M and Ms she got for pee). I'd try to find something that motivates him and then reward, reward, reward. My 2 yo daughter actually refuses to use the Baby Bjorn potties and will only use the one her sister uses (with a toilet ring) which I guess is a good thing since we don't have to clean out the potty... That leads to another idea - peer pressure. Does he have an older sibling, cousin or friend that could show him how the big kids do it?

FWIW, I'm as anti-bribery as they come but this is a REALLY good idea. For potty training, if it works - do it!

I don't remember what my ds was into at 4, but I would go all out on a bribe for the first few. Even buy them and have them on hand so that you can give it to him immediately after he's successful - instant gratification works wonders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, it wouldn't hurt to mention now & then in a conversational tone (not an accusatory one and not while he's using the bathroom) that so and so (younger than him) is using the toilet now, isn't that great? No one wants to be the baby. If it's reinforced that the potty is for babies and he has peers who know he uses the baby potty, it can also be a nudge. "A friend exclaiming with genuine surprise, wow you still use a potty?" can work wonders.

And can you think of anyone he would want to have a brag about it with? (Call to grandma or some other positive person who will congratulate him.)

To go along with this, do you have siblings or friends who are in the throes of potty training who can call you when they're successful so that you can make a really big deal about while your ds listens? Tell them in advance so they can laugh while you exclaim over and over again how amazing it is that Larla pooped in the big girl potty.

[Anonymous]

We had an insert to the big potty that helped the fear of falling in.

Similar to this
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=403227&catid=183134&aid=338666&aparam=403227&kpid=403227&CAWELAID=120142990000010958&CAGPSPN=pla

[Anonymous]

Oh I hear you! With us it wasn't the potty seat, but diapers. He would ask for a diaper, we would put it on, he would poop, we would take it off. It just stopped at 4.5 with a combination of two things... 1) We said this was the last box of diapers and when they were gone they were gone and 2) I made a drawing that listed out five poops in the potty to be checked off and he gets a big Lego set.

And he knows he has to keep using the potty after that. No more diapers. You might make it five poops in the potty plus the potty seat goes away.

And since he doesn't like the "plop," I would start talking up splashes. Go throw rocks in a creek, coins in a fountain, etc. "Oh, just like your poopy!"

I sympathize wholeheartedly. This all gives new meaning to the term "anal retentive!"

[Anonymous]

Give the potty chair back - and do a search on encopresis. Have you commiserated about the splash? Like, "Oh, yeah, I hate when the water splashes too".

Also, is there a way you can line the potty? Maybe some tissue so the cleanup won't be so bad?

[Anonymous]

My almost-4 year old is still requesting a pull-up to poop. He sits on the big potty with a pull-up and poops. Absolutely refuses to go directly in the potty. I've offered this kid the world as a reward - literally have tried huge items he wants more than anything. He still won't budge on this. Just wanted you to know you're not alone!