When to explain the birds and bees?

[Anonymous]

My son is 8.5 He hasn't asked about anything yet, but his one friend has seen a live birth and has told talked to my son about it. I'm think I would rather him hear about things from us before his friends start to tell him. What age do you tell your kids more of the real ideas?

[Anonymous]

Hm. Normally I'd say when they ask, but 8.5 is old. I'd worry he's hearing it from friends instead.

I'd go buy the book "It's so amazing" and then maybe read it together.

[Anonymous]

We used the book PP is talking about. It's actually part of a great series of books about the body, sex, safety, etc. I started around 5-6 with body parts for both girls and boys, and progressed to actual sex around 7 or so. It's an ongoing conversation and we revisit the books every couple of months. My son is now 9 and also reads them on his own when he wants.

[Anonymous]

around aged 6

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used the book PP is talking about. It's actually part of a great series of books about the body, sex, safety, etc. I started around 5-6 with body parts for both girls and boys, and progressed to actual sex around 7 or so. It's an ongoing conversation and we revisit the books every couple of months. My son is now 9 and also reads them on his own when he wants.

Really? Is that pretty normal timing? I don't recall knowing anything that early.

I'm glad OP asked because I wouldn't have even thought about going over actual sex that early. My 6yo knows the parts of bodies for boys and girls and understands how babies come out of the body, but we haven't even come anywhere close to talking about sex. He got in trouble at school for using the word "penis"! (I complained to the principal. It's the name of a body part; come on!) But I don't think I can trust him to know something like that and not talk about it at inappropriate times.

I've got to look into this book series.

[Anonymous]

I also have an 8 yo who hasn't mentioned anything. How do you bring it up? Let's read this book together on the couch? Will it be appropriate for my 5 yo too? Same time or separate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used the book PP is talking about. It's actually part of a great series of books about the body, sex, safety, etc. I started around 5-6 with body parts for both girls and boys, and progressed to actual sex around 7 or so. It's an ongoing conversation and we revisit the books every couple of months. My son is now 9 and also reads them on his own when he wants.

Really? Is that pretty normal timing? I don't recall knowing anything that early.

I'm glad OP asked because I wouldn't have even thought about going over actual sex that early. My 6yo knows the parts of bodies for boys and girls and understands how babies come out of the body, but we haven't even come anywhere close to talking about sex. He got in trouble at school for using the word "penis"! (I complained to the principal. It's the name of a body part; come on!) But I don't think I can trust him to know something like that and not talk about it at inappropriate times.

I've got to look into this book series.

I don't know what normal timing is, but I absolutely wanted to be the one to teach him correct information, and not have his first ideas formed by misinformation from his friends. I want my son to be able to accurately process the information he hears on the streets. Because that "will" happen before a formal sex ed class in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also have an 8 yo who hasn't mentioned anything. How do you bring it up? Let's read this book together on the couch? Will it be appropriate for my 5 yo too? Same time or separate?

I read the book to my 8 and 5 year olds. It was maybe more than the 5 year old needed to know, but it wasn't harmful and just part of the territory of being a younger sibling. I read it to them together the first time and then my older child wanted to read certain chapters again, so we did that separately.

After a few weeks of wanting to read the book again and again, neither kid has asked further questions.

[Anonymous]

both of my daughters were around 4 when i explained how babies are made (they asked).

i would just tell him the truth. He will be amazed! and then he will know more than his friends

[Anonymous]

Yep, started reading "It's not the stork" with my kids at/before age 5. It discusses the mechanics of sex, but it's very matter of fact and focused more on the "how do babies come to be" rather than tackling the subject as exciting or forbidden. We read the book every couple of months, at their request, and they can look at it on their own as they want.

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old has not asked. When she does, I'll have the talk with her. If she hears from her friends, I am ok with that too. She'll figure out the truth eventually. I was 10 when I learned about sex from friends and in school. My parents never had the talk with me. It hasn't impacted me, I figured things out soon enough. I may be a prude, but I think it is inappropriate for a 5 or 6 year old to know about sex unless they have been misinfor med by someone and you need to clear it up. My 6 year old niece explained sex to me and it was just weird. Do you talk about oral sex, gay sex etc too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old has not asked. When she does, I'll have the talk with her. If she hears from her friends, I am ok with that too. She'll figure out the truth eventually. I was 10 when I learned about sex from friends and in school. My parents never had the talk with me. It hasn't impacted me, I figured things out soon enough. I may be a prude, but I think it is inappropriate for a 5 or 6 year old to know about sex unless they have been misinfor med by someone and you need to clear it up. My 6 year old niece explained sex to me and it was just weird. Do you talk about oral sex, gay sex etc too?

I don't think It's so Amazing talked about oral sex, but it definitely talked about how sex is not always for procreation and that men can love and have sex with a man and same for women. It did emphasize that sex is only for adults.

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old asked so I told her, using the correct names for everything, and the "It's not the stork" book.

My mom told me around 4 or 5, as my sisters and I visited our newborn cousin and asked at that time. I remember being totally underwhelmed and a little surprised by how gross and unappealing sex sounded!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old has not asked. When she does, I'll have the talk with her. If she hears from her friends, I am ok with that too. She'll figure out the truth eventually. I was 10 when I learned about sex from friends and in school. My parents never had the talk with me. It hasn't impacted me, I figured things out soon enough. I may be a prude, but I think it is inappropriate for a 5 or 6 year old to know about sex unless they have been misinfor med by someone and you need to clear it up. My 6 year old niece explained sex to me and it was just weird. Do you talk about oral sex, gay sex etc too?

The point is that they will get informed by someone- wouldn't you prefer that someone to be you? What you are really saying is that you'd rather someone else tell her because you find it uncomfortable to talk about. This is one of those times where it's really best to put your own comfort aside and do what is best for your kid. Learning about sex from their parent is far better than hearing about if from someone's older sibling.

[Anonymous]

Naming body parts correctly starts as an infant, while narrating the day. Toddlers learn to say the correct words while learning to talk and potty training. Preschoolers learn what is appropriate touching, what to do when something feels uncomfortable and when it's appropriate to make yourself feel great (kid reaching into his pants in the store was absolutely not the time or place!). Any child mature enough to read can pick up on of the many educational books on the shelf, and many deal with puberty, pregnancy, etc. If they haven't asked to talk to me about sex, pregnancy and puberty by the beginning of first grade, it's time to talk during each break, a little at a time, so that they have time to process. Teens who grow up in households where no topic is forbidden are more likely to discuss their plans with the adults in their lives rather than sneaking around, and they're also more likely to be careful.