How do you move on after a fight?

[Anonymous]

We had a really bad fight on Saturday. Made up on Sunday but haven't had an in-depth conversation yet with resolution. I still feel sick to my stomach over the fight and my heart hurts. I'm mad at him and want to cry and scream and hug and kiss him at the same time.

[Anonymous]

How did you makeup w/o the conversation and reaolution?

Once we figure out the resolution, one of us usually makes a joke. Making fun of either person and the situation is usually at play. It's good natured joking and not cheap shots or being passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what the issue is and if it get's resolved. If it's cheating that never get's resolved. If he's calling a ex behind your back, doubt you can move on from that either.

Really depends on what's going on.

[Anonymous]

OP. Texting. Haven't seen him in person since before the fight. Its not about cheating or another woman but basically he lied and I caught him

[Anonymous]

You still need to be detailed. Some fights aren't worth a sit down to discuss. You just move on. Some require a sit down after a few days of cooling off

[Anonymous]

Well we have never had a huge fight But if we have an argument, we ALWAYS solve it. It might not be an immediate fix but rather steps to resolve the issue. Then we either have sex or just make the conscious effort to move on and let go of any feelings. Like PP, usually some sort of joke is involved as an ice breaker.

Oh and we have a rule...no grudges

[Anonymous]

Our fights normally end with one of us squeezing the other's hand. Or hugging.

Lame I know. We aren't even a touchy/feely couple, but this is just always how ours end. One of us decides to be the bigger person and leans in for the hug first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our fights normally end with one of us squeezing the other's hand. Or hugging.

Lame I know. We aren't even a touchy/feely couple, but this is just always how ours end. One of us decides to be the bigger person and leans in for the hug first.

Does makeup sex work??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Texting. Haven't seen him in person since before the fight. Its not about cheating or another woman but basically he lied and I caught him

Kind of depends on the nature of the lie. Not all are worth a huge fight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You still need to be detailed. Some fights aren't worth a sit down to discuss. You just move on. Some require a sit down after a few days of cooling off

he always wants to just act like nothing happened once we make up. But this is something I really want to discuss and make sure doesn't happen again, especially the lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our fights normally end with one of us squeezing the other's hand. Or hugging.

Lame I know. We aren't even a touchy/feely couple, but this is just always how ours end. One of us decides to be the bigger person and leans in for the hug first.

Does makeup sex work??

No, that's avoiding the real issue. Who wants to have sex with someone they have resentments toward, most women don't.

A compromise or resolution is the only way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You still need to be detailed. Some fights aren't worth a sit down to discuss. You just move on. Some require a sit down after a few days of cooling off

he always wants to just act like nothing happened once we make up. But this is something I really want to discuss and make sure doesn't happen again, especially the lying.

And how do you want to accomplish that? Just continuing o be mad won't get you anywhere. Was the lie because he said he would do something he didn't? Tell someone something he shouldn't? Why did he lie? Because he's afraid of your reaction? He was legit hiding something? Work on those to come up with a solution vs just being mad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our fights normally end with one of us squeezing the other's hand. Or hugging.

Lame I know. We aren't even a touchy/feely couple, but this is just always how ours end. One of us decides to be the bigger person and leans in for the hug first.

Does makeup sex work??

PP here. Yeah that comes later. The first thing though is hand squeezing. And then we apologize.

[Anonymous]

I had a good friend who ended up divorcing her husband. She called me more then a few times in tears and angry because her husband refused to change. It had been that way for 10 years. He had grown kids, and let them have their kids bday parties at their house without consulting my friend. She didn't want kids and all that at her house. The stupid daughter could do it at her place. Horrible grown kids, and one he always gave money to. Paid her divorce lawyer behind my friends back. Lot's of stuff like that.

I could only tell her what I would do. Call the daughter myself and tell her NO. Make plans that day and let the husband entertain them. I also told my friend to sock money away he couldn't find since there were problems.

I guess after so many years the resentments piled on so she did leave him, but for another guy which shocked everyone. While married she set her profile pic on FB to her and her boyfriend. Yes while living with her husband...omg! So all his family saw it since she was their FB friend. Of course there were more photos of them together. She had a LOT of animosity, or enjoyed the payback to all of them.

If you keep doing something your partner is upset about it will eventually blow up in some way.

[Anonymous]

OP I would not say you have 'made up' because you are still angry.

DH and I will talk it out until we get past it. Sometimes that takes 15 minutes, sometimes it takes an hour and a half but we sit there and talk until we are able to see each other's POV and at least understand or until someone genuinely apologizes and says it won't happen again (whichever is applicable).

Then we spend some time cuddling or lying in bed together and spending positive time together. Sometimes its just a hug or holding hands for awhile until someone cracks a joke but this part is just as important as the talking. It shows we both want to see that the other person is LEGITIMATELY over it, not just continuing to be sad/angry.