Approaching a hoarding situation (or at least I feel like it)
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Anonymous
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Hi Everyone,
I have lived in the same large apartment for 15 years. It was not my intention to stay here this long, but for various reasons I have, those being the apartment itself (parquet floors, built in china cabinets and bookshelves, the natural light), the safe and lovely neighborhood (Glover Park, DC), proximity to my daughter's school (a few blocks), and my financial situation. My apartment is in an old building and it is rent controlled. Rent has not gone up for the past three years. Home ownership, at least in this area, is not in the cards for me. The problem is that I have too much stuff. Every closet is chock full, there are piles of dusty clutter everywhere, and all this stuff is impeding our ability to live peacefully and gracefully in our home. I have a paper fetish and my daughter does too, so way too many magazines and catalogues pile up. I'm a teacher, and I have way too many books, as well as boxes and bags of stuff I collect to take to school (egg cartons, paper towel tubes, etc etc). Don't get me wrong... dishes are done, trash is taken out, bathrooms are scrubbed... we even make our beds. I'm just facing facts now that I really need to get rid of so much stuff, and I don't know where to start. I have been sick off and on since the fall.... had an intestinal infection, the flu (even though I had a flu shot), and now am dealing with a torn ligament in my knee. We don't have a car and take the bus and walk everywhere. I feel like I don't have the resource or strength to take on this huge project now, even though EVERY DAY this is at the top of my mind and bugging the hell out of me. It's like I'm defeated before I even start. I have grand plans for this place that includes painting and some new furniture, but I have to get rid of some of this crap first. Any words of advice or encouragement from someone who's been there? How did you approach this? TIA |
Anonymous
| Consider hiring an organizer. Even if you can only afford a few hours, they will get you started in the right direction. |
Anonymous
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Therapy with someone who specializes in hoarding.
Because not being able to face the clean up and that keeping you from doing anything is part of the problem. You need someone to help. |
Anonymous
+1 If you really want to de clutter, it only takes a half hour each day or a few hours each week to take a trash bag or recycling box and tackle a closet or room at a time. If you haven't gotten to this point yet, you have issues detaching emotionally from your things and should definitely seek someone who specializes in this type of situation. |
Anonymous
| I think the first thing you need to do is to start small. Pick a room like maybe the bathroom and literally throw away as much as you can. Closets are small but packed and I think much more problematic than even an entire bedroom. The key is overcoming the thought that something you have saved has a potential and valuable future use. Paper and wood are the most common obsession with hoarders. There is no need or use for magazines and you should stop wasting money on subscriptions and purchases. If you look at the price on the back of the magazine and then imagine that as an actual dollar amount that gets looked at and tossed in the trash it may help you to stop buying them. There is also the rule of thumb that if you haven't used it for one year then it's excessive and expendable. |
Anonymous
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Try to take out an extra bag of trash per day to the garbage chute in your building. Concentrate on one area, one closet, just the paper, etc. After just a week, I bet you will notice a great improvement.
Just one bag a day. I bet you will do even more once you get started. Also keep a bag/box going for donations. You can call Vietnam Veterans of America or many other organizations and they will come to pick up bags, furniture, household items. |
Anonymous
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Each area cleaned should go into three piles -
1. Throw away/recycle 2. Give away 3. Keep Also, think of all that paper and what might happen in case of a fire. It is not safe. No need to keep most paper stuff. I understand the desire to keep stuff, since you are a teacher. I was one too. If it is stuff you think you will really use at school, take it there and leave it. Don’t keep it in your home. |
Anonymous
| Donate! Donate! Donate! We had a full attic, and every time we'd go up there to find something, we'd come down and want to kill each other. We started donating, organizing and cleaning about an hour a week. I'm typically a clean and organized person, but I let it go because my DH isn't, and there was little time because our child was young. Start small, maybe 15 minutes a day, working in a small area - get rid of paperwork as that's fire hazard - and keep at it. |
Anonymous
| When I needed to declutter, I forced myself to make 1 bag of stuff a night. It could be a trash bag, a donation bag, or an organize box. Trash bags had to go to the trash that night. Donation bags had to be taken to goodwill by the end of the week or it became a trash bag. Organize box got to wait until I was 4 weeks into my project and then I had organizing week. Once I had more space, organizing fell into the same category as donations. If it didn't find a home in a week, it became trash. |
Anonymous
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9 out of 10 hoarders I've met were teachers. You don't have a paper fetish and neither does your daughter. She is learning to hoard from you. Those saved items ? are garbage. Throw those away. Books, library donation and quit buying. They make your home stink. Stop being lazy and throw trash away. Set an example for your child.
I'm watching Hoarders right now. It disgusts me to see kids living in filth. |
Anonymous
Calm down. OP is recognizing the problem and wanting to deal with it. She doesn't sound lazy. I think your harsh reply is b/c you're watching Hoarders. |
Anonymous
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Wanting to do something about this is half the battle! Just jump in and do something.
Start small -- really small. Pick a pile. Or a drawer. You sound like you have limited mobility with your knee, so pull up a chair and tackle one small area. I like to take before and after pictures to help me appreciate that I've really accomplished something. Do one place per day, maybe two small places. Don't get a burst of energy and tear apart a whole room, only to peter out mid-project. That will make you more discouraged! How does your daughter feel about cleaning things out? If she sees you do it or helps you with your things, maybe she'll feel better about ditching some of her unnecessary stuff. I'm not above incentives here - let's clean up your floor so we have space to play Sorry when we're done! Reward yourself too - time to sit and read a book once you finish your project. Anything that you get out of the apartment is good. More power to you! |
Anonymous
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Also -- check out 40 bags in 40 days online. It's a group of people who aim to clean out one area of their home each day during Lent (hence the 40 days), but it isn't at all religious.
I can sometimes find their facebook page to be too overwhelming -- some people tackle a whole room at a time. I do a drawer a day! |
Anonymous
THIS. Bring all that crap to school. Good luck! -- fellow teacher |
Anonymous
| OP, start small. REALLY small. |