S/O: Working Moms Pay & Hours

[Anonymous]

Curious to hear from other working moms, mainly to see how happy you are in your careers and if those who make more have much more demanding jobs, and if you're okay with that. If money were no object, would you still work? Since this is anonymous, can't hurt to play the game.

I am fairly senior and in a marketing role. I make $170K in base plus a 20% bonus. I work 9-6 most days (no lunch or other breaks), but do log on every night for about an hour to finish up things I didn't get to. I travel 4-5 times per year for 3-5 days a time. I also have to work about 4 weekends a year for meetings and events. And generally 3-4 times a month I have to work late or go in early (like 7am) for a meeting.

While I like my job most days, I am over the travel, weekends, early/late nights and never feeling off the clock. Even though my hours are not so bad, many of my colleagues don't have kids and work much longer days.

I know I prefer to work vs. SAH, but I really want to spend more time with my kids (5 and 2) and wish there was more middle ground. I have never been able to find something part time or less demanding overall. And, sadly I make too much to just walk away because it really does help us financially.

Anyone else want to share?

[Anonymous]

I make $140 and work 9-5, no weekends, no evenings. I went down to four days a week for my child's first year, wish I could do that with #2 but not financially feasible.

[Anonymous]

I work 4 days/week, about 9 hours a day at work (7am-4pm) with some work from home pretty much every day (checking emails, etc).

I make right around $100k, which makes me the primary breadwinner although my DH makes only about $10k less.

I really genuinely love my work (in healthcare) and would not want to stay at home, but I have also not regretted not taking something with more hours, regardless of whether the salary would be higher.

[Anonymous]

I make 180 work 7 to 330. Telework two days a week. most people make time to go to the gym everyday. Have periods that are busy and require some work in evenings/weekends (handful of times per year). Travel up to one time a year for a couple days but whether I go or not is totally up to me. About 50% of the job is intellectually stimulating, the other 50% can be boring.

Overall very happy, but wondering if I should branch out s bit to climb the management ladder. No real increase in pay or benefits but would hurt my career if I don't move up if I ever want to leave.

[Anonymous]

If money weren't needed, then no, I wouldn't work at a 9-5 type job. I'd pursue singing or writing while my kids were at school.

As it is, we do need my money to pay the bills, save for retirement, save for college, and pay for one of my kid's medical issues, and for the other's schooling assistance.

I have a very family-friendly job, can telework as needed, and hardly ever have to work outside my normal hours. I could absolutely go higher up in the company if I worked at night and/or weekends, but I made a decision that that time is 99% for my family and that decision is respected completely. I make about $115k; some years there are bonuses. I make a lot less than others in the same position because I moved up internally from entry level getting small "set" increases, most of my coworkers joined from elsewhere and had the opportunity to negotiate for the appropriate level's pay. DH makes about the same.

We are looking at private school for MS and HS or extensive external supports at public for one child and we are staying in our "starter" tiny townhome for good so we can save for whatever is needed there and still fully fund retirement, plus enough for tuition at least for four years at a state university for both kids.

I do think about going part time, to have "school hours" until the youngest is out of ES, basically 1 1/2 hours less each day.

[Anonymous]

I make about $105k + bonus. I work from home 90% of the time. I took a pay cut to take this role - had I not, I probably would have been at around $130+ bonus. The job I left was very predictable, but had ZERO flexibility, and no ability to work from home, ever. I had zero hours of leave - I now have over 200 hours. That extra money would be going to a nanny/sitter to get my kids on/off the bus. I am also able to go on most field trips and volunteer in the class room.

[Anonymous]

I make about $60 although this is my first "real" job after doing a post-doc and I don't live in DC anymore so cost of living is much lower. Right now I'm working 12 hour days 6 days a week. However, it's because I work for a state legislature and we're in session which is about 7 weeks. I definitely prefer working to SAH. A big plus with this job is that any hours over 40 I put in I get comp. time for (some paid and some time off). Even though I just started this past summer I already have enough vacation and comp to take three weeks off so I'm looking forward to some vacations and just afternoons off with my kids (1 and 3) this spring and summer.

[Anonymous]

I work four, shorter days a week. My job can be as demanding as I want it, but it is never stressful and I never have to take work home with me. It can be boring at times, but it's extremely family-friendly and is a perfect fit for my stage in life and I am thankful for it. I have two kids in preschool and I am able to spend time with them in the mornings and evenings. My friends joke that it's like I live in Europe. I make 70k.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a little unusual on DCUM, but I'm a bartender. I SAH during the day while DH works, and I work three nights a week, usually around 30 hours. I make about 45K... probably a little more, but we don't claim all of our cash tips.
I like being able to stay home with DS during the day, and still get to work and interact with adults for part of the week. DH could probably cover our costs with his salary, but with me working we have some wiggle room to go out to eat, save for college/retirement, take vacations, etc. The downside (besides all the usual bar BS-anyone who has waited tables or bartended knows what I mean) is that I don't see DH as much (as I work weekends) and I'm exhausted on Sundays. It's hard to get up at 7 AM with a baby when you get home at 3 AM.

[Anonymous]

$110,000, very flexible job most of the time. 8-5 with a lunch unless I'm super-busy. Sometime take work home. But almost always get to take off to volunteer at school, chaparone field trips, etc. when I need to.

I would never depend on someone else to support me, so I will always work unless I were to win the lottery and be Independently wealthy. If that ever happened, I'd volunteer about 30 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

I make around $350 as a lawyer. I'm the main breadwinner. I work 8 to 5, go home and bathe, play with kids, then after putting them to bed (aged 4 and 2) make dinner and usually continue working from home. Some nights I work for under an hour, others I could be up til 3am.

I enjoy my work and it would be hard to do the kind of law I do on reduced hours. Sometimes I feel exhausted by it all, but generally I feel grateful that I'm able to continue working in this kind of role and also I get some time with my kids every day. The things that make it work for me are: husband being great and sharing the load, having a v short commute so I don't waste time with that and get more time with kids, having a v good boss who respects my off-hours in the evening, and also keeping my weekends generally clear. Any work I need to do I usually do in the evenings on weekends so I get to spend both days with family.

If money was no object I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I'd be a Satm because I had long maternity leaves and while I loved it for that amount of time, I think any longer and I would have been very restless, as I found full time childcare to be a combination of boring and exhausting. I love being with my kids but I don't think any of us would benefit from me doing that 24/7. I like the challenging aspects of my job and although I ideally would like a job with shorter hours/lower expectations, I can't imagine what that would be - but if money was no object I think I'd probably look into that further and try to find out.

[Anonymous]

I make $120k. I work 8-4:30 most of the time except June and Nov/Dec. Those months I work quite a bit more, after the kids go to bed and weekends.

I would still do something as like previous poster I was not a huge fan of being at home. I took 5 month maternity leaves each time and was very restless after 10 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Great thread. I work as an attorney in a legal nonprofit. Three consecutive days a week, so three on, four off. It's the perfect schedule for right now (baby plus toddler). I make about $60k. We can afford for me to stay home but I really like working, even if my entire take home pay goes to childcare

[Anonymous]

$100K 9:30-4:30 at a university. Love it. Would SAH but college will be paid for by us for our two DDs, so must work.

[Anonymous]

$240K, flexible hours, usually 8:30-5:30, telework option although I go to office most of the time, day trips for meetings a few times a month, occasionally I work at home or on the weekend (1-2x/mo). Total flexibility for kid school stuff. But I'm expected to be accessible via email most of the time because I manage high profile clients and a team.