I work for a racist

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I believe my boss is truly racist. I have thought this for awhile now, based on various things she's said. She often complains about all the African American history that is taught at her child's school, and in general seems to have an "us vs. them" divisive attitude about things. She thinks non-white immigrants are jealous of her for being white and rich, and thus treat her poorly in customer service situations - just so you all know what I'm dealing with here.

Today her 6-year-old daughter saw a picture of an African American baby on some food packaging and said to her sister, "Ew, look, black people are gross!" I asked her why she would say that and she said, "Mommy told me they are gross." I told her that was not a nice thing to say, then later when she and I had a quiet moment I asked her about it again. I asked her if Mommy said she should keep that to herself and she said, "No, she said that I can say it whenever I feel it." I know kids sometimes make things up, but this seems like something the mom would say - I know her quite well now.

This literally made me sick to my stomach. Being racist is awful enough on its own, but I was shocked that this woman would blatantly teach her kids to be this way. Having no shame about it, or awareness that it is wrong, is scary. It makes me sad that she is tarnishing her kids' innocence like this.

I usually stay out of and remain neutral on anything the kids come to me with regarding religion, politics, and things like that, but I just couldn't let this one slide.

My question for you all is this - would you mention it to the mom (my boss)? If so, what would you say?

(By the way, I am already searching for a new job but this really makes me want to speed up the process!)

[Anonymous]

Nanny employer here. Two thoughts, or maybe three:

1. They are her kids, so she can teach them whatever she wants. Even that the moon is made of cheese and non-white people suck.

2. Run, don't walk, to your next job.

3. See point #2 but do it faster.

You CANNOT protect the kids from this kind of prejudice and viewpoint. I would not even try. When they get expelled from their fancy private schools for spewing this stuff, then maybe MB will get it. Not before. I hope to god they are not in my kids' classes, although if they are we may have an early lesson on how to ostracize a hateful person.

[Anonymous]

Mom of two bi-racial children here. No, don't mention it, that's long gone. Speed up the process and once you are on the safe side, you may want to throw out a comment about how you noticed people openly discriminating certain populations and how disgusting you find it when you see a child mirror it.

I am all for changing the world into a better place and if this little girl said this in my presence, I would likely get angry. But at the end of the day you do not control everything.

This mom sounds pathetic and is clearly racist, but she is your boss and you do not have any evidence that she discriminated against anyone in the workplace, and as it stands the only way to interfere as an employee is if you witness such thing. Chalk it up to the harsh truth that some people clearly never moved on and learned from history.

Good luck! I hope you find a job VERY soon, you sound like a very caring person.

[Anonymous]

She probably fancies herself progressive and not a racist.

[Anonymous]

Poor child, she will find out the hard way when she spouts off those comments in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She probably fancies herself progressive and not a racist.

LOL!

"Well, my husband and I certainly don't use that word around the house. Goodness, she's only 7, how would she even know what that word means? She's just a child."

[Anonymous]

What? There are hypocrytical progressives? Naw. Not possible.

[Anonymous]

If I were getting another job anyway, I'd tell her about the incident and report "I told her that we are all the same and people who truly think this horrible thing about other people are not very smart and will suffer a lot in life"

[zumbamama]

I would find another job, and then tell your current boss why you are leaving in a professional way. I wouldn't be afraid to tell her why you are leaving. If it were me, I would definitely give the woman a piece of my mind—in the nicest way possible, of course. I might even give them a parting gift...maybe a framed "I have a dream" speech or a book on race relations.

[Anonymous]

I think 9:34 has the right idea, but I would try to be as nonjudgmental as possible in telling the mom. Frame it as concern that her daughter needs to know how to get along with all kinds of people and not say things that will hurt others or get her in trouble. Despite her personal beliefs, I'm sure the mom wants her daughter to be successful in life and may be open to suggestions about how to accomplish this. When you have another job lined up you can be more forthright about why you are leaving.

[Anonymous]

I'm 9:34 and I would totally intend on being direct. I would do this as I was quitting.

[Anonymous]

I'd fire her immediatley

[Anonymous]

Dont worry, she can say all she wants while on earth it really doesnt matter because SHE IS GOING TO BURN AND ROT IN HELL plus all her wealth and whatever....

[Anonymous]

Oh she has no class! Please find another job as soon as you can.
She will pay the price for being stupid.

[Anonymous]

A couple of questions for OP -- would feel comfortable telling us where this household is located? Md Va Dc, somewhere else?

Also, I am curious as to whether you are a person of color yourself? It wouldn't change my answer to you (which has been said already by PPs - quit yesterday). But if you are a person of color yourself, I think it's worth an extra "WTF" to Mom on the way out the door.