Repeating Kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

My DS has a late bday--very end of Sept. I have already decided I will keep him back, but I can't decide whether to have him do pre-K (Jr. K) and K or just repeat K twice. I feel like he would get more academics if he started K in the fall and just repeat. Everyone says he shouldn't be repeating K at the same school. So now I'm looking at private K then move him to K in public school (we are ultimately doing public elementary school). But I'm concerned about what his 2nd year of K will be like in a public 1/2 day K program after a full day private K program. Has anyone ever heard of a child repeating K at the same school? Will it really be that stigmatizing? Will the school even allow it? What about repeating K at 2 different school but within the same county public school system?

[Anonymous]

In the private schhols, that's an early birthday. So do pre-k at a private then move on to your public school for K.

[Anonymous]

I am in your situation, son with very late Sept. b-day, and here's what we decided:

We decided to repeat pre-K, then send him to K at his public school the following year. I don't know this for sure, but my strong suspicion is that pre-school is all very mushy, and kids don't necessarily focus on what grade you're in, or what grade you'll be in next year. It's all preschool, and its a bit easier to hold your kid back without letting him know (or at least without him being constantly aware). I think once they hit K (especially in a public school), they KNOW they're supposed to be in 1st grade next year. I would not put him in public K and then have him repeat (in front of his friends). I have heard of children repeated in the same school, but my personal opinion is that is a situation to be avoided at all costs, because of the stigmatization problem.

I think, frankly, he will be bored next year re-doing preschool, but I hope it is only for one year. He may be bored whatever year you hold him back. So, if you do K for a year in a private school, and then repeat K, he may be just as bored.

I don't know what county you're in, but I have heard that ALL of Fairfax County is supposed to have full day K starting in 2010. So switching from full day K to half day K may or may not be a concern. I don't know that the public school system would let you send your child to an out-of-district K for the first year, but you should check with the school system.

I also believe I have been told by other parents, that once you are in the public school system, you do not necessarily have the "right" to have your child repeat a year. If the child is passing (even if barely), the school may not LET you repeat K with him. So keep that in mind. One of my friends has a daughter with a summer b-day. She really never considered holding her back, but now she wishes she had. Her daughter is in the bottom of the class, and just struggles and struggles and struggles. Its really hard on her self esteem. I believe the school told the mother that she cannot just decide to hold her child back now that she is in 3rd grade. Although I think she could transfer to a private school and try to do that.

Good luck to you. I think its a tricky issue.

[Anonymous]

Ditto what the PP said. My neighbor tried to hold her son back when he was in 1st or 2nd grade. He was just immature and had trouble w/ the demands of the academics and fine motor skills. The school said he wasn't allowed to repeat b/c he wasn't failing. His mom said she wished she had just had him stay back in preschool. There may be some other kids in the same situation (with fall birthdays) so at least your son will know some kids. If he repeats K at a public school, it will be very obvious to him that he is "staying back" while all of his friends go to 1st grade.

[Anonymous]

Our public school will not allow you to have your kids repeat kindergarten unless things are really bad. They view the social stigma of repeating a grade and falling behind your peers to be worse than getting special services to catch you up and keep you there in a higher grade.

As far as whether to start kindergarten in private or redo pre-k, I think it would depend on a couple of factors. How does your child tolerate frustration if the work is too difficult or the expectations are too high. If you are going to use a private school, are the expectations on par with your public school, higher or lower?

With my oldest child, I started him in private school and moved him to public in second grade. He was way behind because the public school cirriculum was much more rigorous than the private school. If I had to do it again, I would have had him repeat first grade. But hindsight is 20-20 and I made decisions with the information I had then.

With my middle child, he was not even close to being ready to starting school when he hit kindergarten age, so I held him back. But, due to some medical problems, this was foreseeable early, so I had him stay back in nursery school and start pre-k late. This worked well, but if I hadn't thought of it when I did, I would have had him do two years in pre-k because of the extra assistance and supportive environment he had at his pre-k program.

[Anonymous]

It is unlikely that he'll be able to do K at a private the year he turns 5 with a late Sept. birthday. Most privates have cut off dates of no later then Sept. 1. So, that may force your decision.

[Anonymous]

Kids who are "failing" kindergarten or are frustrated by the academic demands of school may have possible learning disabilities/emotional issues -- everyone is so obsessed with late b-day = unable to handle kindergarten on time. Waiting a year just papers over the problem for another year rather than getting help for your kid. Sending our son to K on time likely has uncovered possible LDs and the school will be testing him to determine if there are any issues. Holding him back in preschool wouldn't have solved a thing.

[Anonymous]

My DD has a Jan birthday. We kept her in pre-k for two years, then sent her straight K. She was far more advanced than many of her peers and was so ready for 1st when it was her time. If I had to do it again I would have done the exact same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are "failing" kindergarten or are frustrated by the academic demands of school may have possible learning disabilities/emotional issues -- everyone is so obsessed with late b-day = unable to handle kindergarten on time. Waiting a year just papers over the problem for another year rather than getting help for your kid. Sending our son to K on time likely has uncovered possible LDs and the school will be testing him to determine if there are any issues. Holding him back in preschool wouldn't have solved a thing.

Nobody in pre-school noticed any red flags that did get noticed in K? How did that happen? Our pre-school has teachers with backgrounds in either early education or special education in order to uncover any issues early on. That way the child can have an IEP in place (if necessary) before entering K so that they can "hit the ground running" with services and everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are "failing" kindergarten or are frustrated by the academic demands of school may have possible learning disabilities/emotional issues -- everyone is so obsessed with late b-day = unable to handle kindergarten on time. Waiting a year just papers over the problem for another year rather than getting help for your kid. Sending our son to K on time likely has uncovered possible LDs and the school will be testing him to determine if there are any issues. Holding him back in preschool wouldn't have solved a thing.

Or the developmentally inappropriateness of today's current full-day academic public K classroom could be the culprit too. Many children who are under stress show signs of stress in terms of aggression, overwhelming emotions, etc. Just b/c some children can learn to read at age 5 doesn't mean it is appropriate for all children. Just b/c some kids can handle sitting still, attending and following directions for 6+ hrs a day doesn't mean that is appropriate for all kids. It also doesn't mean they must have a learning problem or emotional issues. If the OP is concerned about these issues, she should seek professional advice. If I were the OP, it would choose pre-k next year and then on to K the following year. Lots of other kids w/ fall bdays are in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused by the mention by OP and another poster that their kids have "late Sept" or "Fall" birthdays and thus they are thinking of holding their kids back a year.

Don't all area schools by now have a Sept. 1 cut off? Meaning, if you do nothing special, won't your late September born kids be almost the oldest in their classes?

I guess this makes sense if your school district has an October 1 cut off, though. Maybe that is it?

From what I have seen it is the parent of kids with the June, July and August birthdays who are considering holding kids back due to "late" birthdays. Those kids will be the babies of their classes, if they aren't held back.

[Anonymous]

PP here.

Sorry, I see my mistake.

It looks like in VA, the usual cut off date is Sept. 30th but for MD (where I live) the cut off date is now Sept. 1 (for the whole state, I think).

So, I'm guessing you all live in VA.

[Anonymous]

Is the point here to make sure your own child is head and shoulders above the pack (in the case of Jan. bday kid especially who said as as much) or if the kid is truly lagging behind academically?

I really hate the 'redshirting' that seems to be the thing to do particularly among the affluent. I think it's unfairly stacking the deck in the redshirted kid's favor to the detriment of those of us who are playing by the rules. Hell, why not wait til the kid is 8? Then little Olivia or Emma will really be "far more advanced."

[Anonymous]

My child with a June birthday attended a private nursery school with a great class for 5-year olds. When I went to register her for 1st grade, the principal strongly recommended putting her in KG instead. I acquiesced, partly because she was short for her age. It was a mistake. She learned nothing in KG, and ended up skipping third grade. She did well after being skipped, but it would have been better to just disregard the principal who insisted that she be put in KG.

[Anonymous]

PP- I may be putting my son into a private K class next year. If the child completes K in a private school, do they need to take a test to be placed into 1st at a public school? Or does the public school recognize that they finished K at a private school and just automatically enroll them in 1st grade?