Repeating Kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are "failing" kindergarten or are frustrated by the academic demands of school may have possible learning disabilities/emotional issues -- everyone is so obsessed with late b-day = unable to handle kindergarten on time. Waiting a year just papers over the problem for another year rather than getting help for your kid. Sending our son to K on time likely has uncovered possible LDs and the school will be testing him to determine if there are any issues. Holding him back in preschool wouldn't have solved a thing.

Nobody in pre-school noticed any red flags that did get noticed in K? How did that happen? Our pre-school has teachers with backgrounds in either early education or special education in order to uncover any issues early on. That way the child can have an IEP in place (if necessary) before entering K so that they can "hit the ground running" with services and everything.

The preschool (considered a very good one - and in many respects we'd agree) was way off base. They theorized sensory integration disorder and language delay because he's bilingual (which is a totally mistaken assumption, btw). We did testing and he tested fine on both accounts (sensory and language delay).

DS is also seeing a psychologist for anxiety -- which also was pretty clear back in pre-K. Testing + the psych will eventually narrow down the issue. There could be LDs, or it could just be anxiety-related.

Again, for our child, the so-called "gift of time" really wouldn't have done a thing. In terms of peer relationships and overall maturity, he's done fine in K.

[Anonymous]

FYI, sometimes the anxiety is caused by the wrong school and/or lack of support by other parents.

[Anonymous]

"the Gift of Time". I heard this phrase numerous times when I started dealing with the pros and cons of "redshirting" my son (late Sept. birthday). I really kind of hate the phrase, as I think sometimes it is used to make blanket decisions for any boy born within 4-5 months of the cut off date.

While I agree that that for a child with learning disabilities, a year of waiting only postpones the issue, I don't think you can ignore the developmental aspects of the decision in the context of today's kindergartens. For my son, he is less emotionally/socially mature than his peers. If you put him with 30 kids (half of which were older than he within 6 months, and half of whom were younger than he, within 6 months), I think he would "score" at about the 10th/20th percentile for social/emotional development. That's a risk I might have taken.

But the reality is, we're in an affluent public school system where redshirting boys is the "norm". My neighbor has a kindergartner this year, and says she does not know of a single boy in the class who was born past APRIL. APRIL! Now, its possible she is misinformed, but I believe it to be pretty close to true. So had I sent my socially immature son "on time", his "peer" set would actually all be 5 to 17 months older than he is. Now he would no longer in the bottom 10-20 % in terms of social development, he is likely to be 2 YEARS behind the most mature students. It really became almost a no-brainer.

So, I don't want to open up the red-shirting debate again... but I do think that for some kids (like mine, who is young AND struggles socially), an extra year is all they need.

[Anonymous]

Honest question: What is "social maturity" in the context of kindergarten? The ability to sit down and follow directions? The ability to play well with others? It seems like such an amorphous concept. I've seen girls and boys in my son's K class burst into tears if parents were there for a defined activity and then left for the day. I've seen plenty of kids getting up and walking around the room when they should be sitting. etc etc. I've seen kids have to be redirected. It all seems like a pretty normal part of being 5 years old...

[Anonymous]

Honest answer PP (from 10:55 poster): Social maturity from the perspective of my son, means the ability to interact with his peers and be even remotely comfortable with them. This year, he simply didn't. At all. He watches from the sidelines, but I doubt he has said 2 words to any of the children in his entire class this year. There are other issues (of course), for example getting unduly upset/frustrated when he can't get things to work they way he thinks they should... be it making a letter "B", or glueing some paper together. But those are some examples which, in the extreme, might indicate a child is not socially ready for K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: What is "social maturity" in the context of kindergarten? The ability to sit down and follow directions? The ability to play well with others? It seems like such an amorphous concept. I've seen girls and boys in my son's K class burst into tears if parents were there for a defined activity and then left for the day. I've seen plenty of kids getting up and walking around the room when they should be sitting. etc etc. I've seen kids have to be redirected. It all seems like a pretty normal part of being 5 years old...

It IS a normal part of being 5 yrs old. But what is not normal is the expectations and curriculum and pace of today's public K. My friend's son started K this year (I think he has a May bday) and he has already been sent to team for an IEP b/c he is having social, emotional and educational issues. He has a lot of energy, has trouble sitting still and hasn't started reading. Ummm, he is also a 5 yr old boy. Apparently, normal 5 yr old boy behaviors are no "cause for concern" in today's K. It's no wonder parents are holding boys back. 20 yrs ago, this same boy would've probably been perfectly fine in a half-day play based K class. But now he is going to be tested for "psychological and educational issues." What a load of BS.