Hospice care for my parent

[Anonymous]

My mother has been referred to hospice care for terminal cancer. Deciding whether to do this in her apartment or in my house. My hesitation about my house is that I have a ten year old and I worry this will be very upsetting. It is also a small house. Her apartment may be better but will be harder for me to run back and forth at night and weekends. I'm a single mom. May be a few weeks. Any thoughts.

[Anonymous]

I would do it at her house. I went through this with my mom two years ago. I'm sorry you are a single mom, OP. Now U.S. The time to ask your friends to help with watching your son. And asking other family Myers to help with your mom. She will probably feel more comfortable in her own surroundings. And you're right, it would be hard on your son if she was in your house. Hard on you too. This way you can take breaks when you need to and go home to rest. I will be praying for you.

[Anonymous]

*is not U.S.

[Anonymous]

OP. wishes for comfort and peace to you and your mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do it at her house. I went through this with my mom two years ago. I'm sorry you are a single mom, OP. Now U.S. The time to ask your friends to help with watching your son. And asking other family Myers to help with your mom. She will probably feel more comfortable in her own surroundings. And you're right, it would be hard on your son if she was in your house. Hard on you too. This way you can take breaks when you need to and go home to rest. I will be praying for you.

I agree with this poster.

[Anonymous]

Where are you located? Montgomery county has Hospice Cares which is non medical but had volunteers who would keep a patient company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother has been referred to hospice care for terminal cancer. Deciding whether to do this in her apartment or in my house. My hesitation about my house is that I have a ten year old and I worry this will be very upsetting. It is also a small house. Her apartment may be better but will be harder for me to run back and forth at night and weekends. I'm a single mom. May be a few weeks. Any thoughts.

Ask your mom.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. its so, so hard at the end. If you're in Montgomery County, Montgomery Hospice is fabulous.

I would do it in her home. End stages of hospice may be very upsetting for your child and it will give you a chance to take a break if you need one.

[Anonymous]

Ask your mother but don't mention you are afraid of upsetting your son. Personally, I would bring her to my home - it will be good for your son, even if upsetting now. My mil lived with us her final months and was under hospice care in our home for 2 weeks before she died and I think it was good for her and my 5y old. When she died, my daughter helped me clean her and dress her while we waited for the funeral home to pick her up. She asked to help.

[Anonymous]

You know ur child best, but i think 10yr old is mature enough to understand the circle of life. This would be a good opportunity to show him compassion and humanity in real life terms. It is stressful- the last thing on your mind should be logistics for child care. Plus, the hospice nurses are simply wonderful.

[Anonymous]

What does your mom want? She may not want to leave her home.

[Anonymous]

What does your mom want? I would ask her what she would like best and try to make it happen.
I think your 10 year old will follow your lead. Yes it will be upsetting but also comforting to be able to help and love someone. Our children learn from us and a lesson like this one is the most important.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the very end or the last few days isn't pleasant and isn't pretty. Sometimes a loved one passes in peace. Be aware that if you do it at your home it may be a horrifying last few days (from someone who's been there). That's why I would recommend her home. Or if she comes to your home make sure her room could be closed off if it gets really bad toward the end. It's a lot for a kid to take in, especially if they were close to the family member.

[Anonymous]

I would do it at your home.

We did this for a parent. We were in townhouse replaced the dining room furniture with a medical bed. Our parent only lived a few weeks under care Friends could visit all the time

You will not want to drive to give care near the end

For your son it will be a live changing experience for the better

Difficult time to live through the stress and pain can bring out the best and worst in your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do it at your home.

We did this for a parent. We were in townhouse replaced the dining room furniture with a medical bed. Our parent only lived a few weeks under care Friends could visit all the time

You will not want to drive to give care near the end

For your son it will be a live changing experience for the better

Difficult time to live through the stress and pain can bring out the best and worst in your family.

I'm a PP, and it's not about OP's driving convenience. It's about her mom's final days. Mom should at least have a vote, if she's able to, as to where she passes. OP can adjust to what her mom wants. If Mom can't communicate her preference, her HCP (probably OP) should decide what her mom would want for herself, not what is easier for OP.