How did you recover emotionally after being laid off?

[Anonymous]

Hi, all. I found out yesterday that I'm being laid off.

I am crushed and freaking out. DH is a contractor, so our family's health/dental benefits are through my employer. We have two young kids. And we just bought a new place.

Beyond the financial freak-out, I am dealing with a horrible loss of self-confidence and self-worth. I have an ache in my chest over it, and I truly don't know how I'm going to sell myself to another potential employer. I know this is fresh, and this sense of panic will fade (I hope)... It's just hard to take.

If you've gone through a similar situation, please share how you picked up and dusted off. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Employers understand lay offs, been through it, twice, and it wasn't an issue in an interview.

Take some time for yourself such as taking a walk somewhere (not a mall, find a hiking/biking trail). It will help clear your mind. Give yourself a week or two before job searching, your mind is all over the place and you need to process everything.

I look at temp agencies, because they get opportunities that are not advertised.

[Anonymous]

Don't take it personally, OP. That's the way companies are now- it's all about numbers and bottom line. It doesn't mean you suck as an employee or individual or that you did poor work or were disliked. Just somewhere along the way your salary fell in line with an area they needed to reduce.

Good luck in your search. Been there and it's very stressful so be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Lay offs suck. I was initially very bitter after going through a lay off. But it actually worked out well for me because it made me focus on what I want career-wise and I was able to get my billing rate higher. I ended up on a better career path because of it.

But after going through one, I am no longer loyal to any employer and always look out for me. I assume every company is out to screw its employees for the sake of a buck.

I would submit your resume to a headhunter and then take a week off. After the week is done, kick it into full job seeking mode.

[Anonymous]

I have been fired once and quit from two other jobs immediately after a bad review. It did affect my confidence, and I do not believe I am cut out for that type of job. I am working now at a much lower-prestige, easier job, and have been there for 5 years. I feel comfortable on this lower rung of the career ladder, and will not attempt to move up. If I ever end up failing at this job, then I will retire and get a job at Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I could have written your post op. The only difference is that I had no time to prepare as it came by suprise.

I submitted resumes to hundreds of employers but never heard back from any jobs. I finally became a nanny.

I get home at 7:30 and spend very little time with my young daughters.

Im kind of floating through life right now barely making it. Some days are rough. Other days are fine.

Just put one foot in front of the other and take life one day at a tume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, all. I found out yesterday that I'm being laid off.

I am crushed and freaking out. DH is a contractor, so our family's health/dental benefits are through my employer. We have two young kids. And we just bought a new place.

Beyond the financial freak-out, I am dealing with a horrible loss of self-confidence and self-worth. I have an ache in my chest over it, and I truly don't know how I'm going to sell myself to another potential employer. I know this is fresh, and this sense of panic will fade (I hope)... It's just hard to take.

If you've gone through a similar situation, please share how you picked up and dusted off. Thanks.

I've been laid off twice in my life, try not hyperventilate. You'll survive, you won't have a scarlet letter and you'll get another job. Self medicate for a week or so, do some staycation type stuff and then start networking and applying for jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I look at temp agencies, because they get opportunities that are not advertised.

Temp agencies are a huge waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, all. I found out yesterday that I'm being laid off.

I am crushed and freaking out. DH is a contractor, so our family's health/dental benefits are through my employer. We have two young kids. And we just bought a new place.

Beyond the financial freak-out, I am dealing with a horrible loss of self-confidence and self-worth. I have an ache in my chest over it, and I truly don't know how I'm going to sell myself to another potential employer. I know this is fresh, and this sense of panic will fade (I hope)... It's just hard to take.

If you've gone through a similar situation, please share how you picked up and dusted off. Thanks.

THIS!!! Getting over that was the hardest part for me. Just before I was laid off, I was told that I would never make it in that organization and that I didn't have what it took to get to the next level. It was soul crushing and it took me a really long time to move past that. How I did it? I connected with former co-workers and bosses who thought very highly of me and sought out the validation that I needed to assure myself that I wasn't a complete loser. I cried for a long time but I also refused to let that defeat me.

Don't feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself. It's normal; just don't let it linger for too long. While you're feeling sorry for yourself, keep moving. Keep looking. Keep taking care of your kids. Wear nice clothes when you go out. Just because you feel lousy on the inside, don't show it on the outside. It makes a difference. You'll be fine and I'm sure you're smart and you WILL land on your feet. Why? Because you have no choice. You have a family and people depending on you.

Get up and go get 'em sister. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Hugs OP
It's tough on your self esteem for sure but i know you'll land on your feet with an even better job and situation.

[Anonymous]

Lots of people have been through at least one layoff- I find employers won't hold it against you, especially if there were several people laid off at once.
Placement agencies that provide contract or contract to perm work can be helpful if you have the experience you are looking for. You have to remember that they work for their clients and not for you and then you can manage that relationship better.
If there is a skill you feel you are missing take some online courses, not for your resume but just as a confidence builder for you. Lynda, Alison.com wouldn't be bad places to start.

Good luck! Agree with previous PP's who say be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

I focused on finding another job, but I didn't *feel* like I got over it until I got a new job, and had a very good review. Even though rationally I knew it did me no good to self-blame and I did my best not to go down that thought spiral, it was hard emotionally.

If you are able to network, please do so, that seems to be the best way to land something else, but be sure you're not voicing your bitterness and appear optimistic. If you can vent to your DH, then do it (my DH survived the myriad conversations about the job situation--but not everyone is that laidback). If you think it'll make him too stressed out, then find another friend that you can talk to, or just post on here.

[Anonymous]

A layoff is not a firing. Most people I know have been through one, especially in this area. It's nothing personal and it doesn't reflect on your work ethic, skill or background. In fact, in many cases, layoffs are done to people at the higher level because their salaries are bigger.

Companies know that. So get out there NOW, while you still have a job. Negotiate the best possible severance package you can, including access to Cobra, etc. Cut whatever expenses you can now, figure out where you can access funds if need be. Come up with your plan A, B and C.

Also, when you do stop working, give yourself at least an hour every day to do whatever the hell you want to do. Exercise is a good thing to pass the time. I used my unemployment to take more yoga classes during the day when I used to be working. It was nice. I also slept a bit more and ate better because I had more time to cook. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, all. I found out yesterday that I'm being laid off.

I am crushed and freaking out. DH is a contractor, so our family's health/dental benefits are through my employer. We have two young kids. And we just bought a new place.

Beyond the financial freak-out, I am dealing with a horrible loss of self-confidence and self-worth. I have an ache in my chest over it, and I truly don't know how I'm going to sell myself to another potential employer. I know this is fresh, and this sense of panic will fade (I hope)... It's just hard to take.

If you've gone through a similar situation, please share how you picked up and dusted off. Thanks.

THIS!!! Getting over that was the hardest part for me. Just before I was laid off, I was told that I would never make it in that organization and that I didn't have what it took to get to the next level. It was soul crushing and it took me a really long time to move past that. How I did it? I connected with former co-workers and bosses who thought very highly of me and sought out the validation that I needed to assure myself that I wasn't a complete loser. I cried for a long time but I also refused to let that defeat me.

Don't feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself. It's normal; just don't let it linger for too long. While you're feeling sorry for yourself, keep moving. Keep looking. Keep taking care of your kids. Wear nice clothes when you go out. Just because you feel lousy on the inside, don't show it on the outside. It makes a difference. You'll be fine and I'm sure you're smart and you WILL land on your feet. Why? Because you have no choice. You have a family and people depending on you.

Get up and go get 'em sister. Good luck!

Great perspective.

The work world is a chaotic rat race that treats people like a commodity (I'm an employer BTW). Don't let this get you down and if it does, don't show it. Careers are over-rated. Get a job that works for you and your family.

Companies and jobs come and go, you'll find another despite how bleak things may seem now. Be confident in yourself and you will get another job. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
THIS!!! Getting over that was the hardest part for me. Just before I was laid off, I was told that I would never make it in that organization and that I didn't have what it took to get to the next level. It was soul crushing and it took me a really long time to move past that. How I did it? I connected with former co-workers and bosses who thought very highly of me and sought out the validation that I needed to assure myself that I wasn't a complete loser. I cried for a long time but I also refused to let that defeat me.

I got pushed out the door at my previous company. They also told me that I would never get promoted because I didn't have what it took to be successful. This really fucked with me for a long, long time, even into my current job. It's one of the most cruel things to tell an employee. If you honestly think an employee doesn't have what it takes to be successful at your company then fucking FIRE them and find someone else.