How did you recover emotionally after being laid off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I look at temp agencies, because they get opportunities that are not advertised.

Temp agencies are a huge waste of time.

I have landed permanent jobs because of temp agencies. Nice try though.

[Anonymous]

I've been there too! Network and job search and keep up your confidence as well as you can.

[Anonymous]

I totally understand, especially about the self-confidence piece, what you're going through. I got pushed out/laid off last fall. Honestly, it was a bad situation and my manager was eventually fired over what she did to me (along with a bunch of even worse stuff), but still.

It actually took me a while to fully understand what a blow to my confidence it was...though in my case it was coupled with several previous months of being berated/belittled by my boss.

In my case it helps that my manager was fired and disgraced, but it's still an ego blow. If you've got enough severance, give yourself a little time to heal and take care of yourself. I also agree with connecting with supportive people in your network. I got an outpouring of support from my colleagues at my company who told me how sad they were to see me go and how much they valued my contribution. I also purposefully reached out to former colleagues/supervisors/mentors who I had good relationships with...even those that couldn't help my new job search provided a good ego boost.

But also recognize that it's a long process. I just started a new job, and I'm realizing that I'm still suffering from some low self-esteem related to my layoff. Actually, realizing even that I should/could have been more aggressive in negotiating the job etc. But I'm trying to focus on the fact that I can be successful here, and my new company and coworkers seem genuinely excited to have me, and hopefully that will make things better in the long run.

Good luck, and be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- You ladies are amazing. (I've cried a lot today -- A LOT.) Your reflections and encouragement are truly helpful.

[Anonymous]

Get over it. Don't think about it. Just throw yourself into the job search- 110% The sooner you get yourself active and working again, you will totally forget your old company. Odds are you will end up in a better place with better long term prospects.

[Anonymous]

Been there, while pregnant, cried and was depressed for a long time. So long that I was worried I hurt the baby. I luckily didn't. You don't get over it easily, but you need to know that it turns out OK in the end. It's stressful and defeating as fuck. But you'll come out OK. Have a plan, apply to several jobs a day and forget about them. Don't take not hearing back personally. Meet people, go to events and be confident and play up your skills. Master new ones. You can. Years later now, I'm in a much better place than before. But the hurt from the lay off lingers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been there, while pregnant, cried and was depressed for a long time. So long that I was worried I hurt the baby. I luckily didn't. You don't get over it easily, but you need to know that it turns out OK in the end. It's stressful and defeating as fuck. But you'll come out OK. Have a plan, apply to several jobs a day and forget about them. Don't take not hearing back personally. Meet people, go to events and be confident and play up your skills. Master new ones. You can. Years later now, I'm in a much better place than before. But the hurt from the lay off lingers.

I agree with this (and also pregnant when the layoff happened!).

Every single person I know who has been laid off and a few that have been fired have all found jobs within a few months - with some, it took longer, but mostly due to choice (enjoyed the time off). As hard as it is to deal with this - use this time to get things done that you never have time for (although it is tough to jump in when you are feeling the way you do). Apply for unemployment - look into health insurance thru obamacare.
It is hard not to take it personally, but try not to - there are many reason decisions are made the way they are made and you have to forget about it and not over analyze what happened.
Make sure your job search is calculated, meaning, don't send a zillion resumes out at once - space it out and keep track of what you are doing. This is your new job. Tell people you know that you are looking - have a resume and generic cover letter ready. Reach out to former coworkers that used to work with you. Definitely don't be worried about what a future employer thinks about your lay off unless your job history is spotty to start with. I have hired many people who are not employed due to lay off. BREATHE!!! This has happened to many of us!!

[Anonymous]

I've been laid off twice- first time found another job within two weeks with a $25K + bonus salary increase! Second time was during the recession when there were no jobs in my field, luckily got a good severance and found another job with a few months with a higher salary and flexible hours. Try not to stress, this could be a great opportunity for you too.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP. I got laid off without warning back in November. Really blindsided me (nothing like walking into a previously scheduled meeting with your boss upon returning from vacation and being told you need to go pack up your office). For me, I hated my job, hated most of the people I worked with and knew that wasn't the field that I wanted to be in, but I had felt stuck for years because I was making decent money and really good benefits and ditching it all seemed so scary. But the decision got made for me. I cried about it. I got angry. And then I embraced the fact (despite the really shitty and pitifully small severance) that I was FINALLY free to go after what I wanted.

I was fortunate enough to have a connection with someone in the field my degree is in and who just happened to be hiring. I took a MASSIVE pay cut. But ohmigod, my mental health is so much better. I finally feel like I'm using my degree and really enjoy what I do. It will take years to get back to my old salary, but it's was absolutely worth it to me.