Your hugging policy and/or practice
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Anonymous
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Are you a hugger?
Which people do or don't get hugs? Do you hug because you feel you "have" to do so? Should others want to hug your children because they are children? Do you, and if so how do you, judge those that do or do not hug? Do you judge the hug, huggee was stiff, huggee only used one arm.....? All sorts of interesting points came up in a SIL vent post earlier today. Me- Female, ambivalent hugger, but a little jealous of those to which hugging seems natural. I am not a hugger, except my child and my spouse. My husband's family is all huggers. I'll participate in the 15 individual hugs hello & goodbye because they would think I didn't like them if not (they have said it so not projecting or making it up). My MIL is about 8-inches taller and has huge boobs, when she hugs me my face gets smushed in her cleavage, always makes me giggle. There are a couple of friends that I hug because it is their thing and I don't really mind. Others know that it isn't my thing and will even joke about it. In the last year or so I've just been going for the hug to avoid the awkward to hug or not to hug moment. We are all American (poster mentioned Americans hug more than others). |
Anonymous
| Do you know what ambivalent means? |
Anonymous
Yes, seems like you need a hug, but not sure I want to be the one to do it. |
Anonymous
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Natural hugger. I go with the flow. I can tell when others are uncomfortable and won't do it. Many surprise me and want to hug first!
There is an art to hugging you know. Family, friend, stranger, church hugs. No boob smushing. Unless it's a spousal hug. |
Anonymous
So what are your strongly conflicting emotions about hugging? |
Anonymous
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I was not raised in a hugging family but my best friend from 6th grade on hugged every chance she got and so did her family. I thought it was weird but it felt good.
It's never come naturally to me though I hug everyone who comes for it and try to make it full and somewhat tight. People who give half hugs with the stiff arms and light touch (like my brother) always make me think why bother. It's such an uncomfortable feeling. I do, of course, hug my kid every chance I get and he loves the full body squeeze. |
Anonymous
I'd hug you, Grumpy Gills. 
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Anonymous
Yes. Now go away. |
Anonymous
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I was that poster (I think, there may have been many of us?). I'm French, and tradition dictates that we either peck on the cheek or go cheek to cheek (once or twice or more, depending on the region). I go along with it because it's more or less required. However, our bodies don't touch! There is actually much less contact than with a hug. Some French people hug, like socialites and magazine editors, but it's not required or frequent at all, unless you're hugging your kids. I feel highly uncomfortable feeling the bulk of somebody else's body against mine when: 1. I don't know them that well. 2. I know them but don't like them. 3. I love them but still really don't like to feel everything. 4. It's the "uncle" from hell and I know what he's thinking. I never initiate hugs, but if one is coming my way, I lean in, put my arm over the person and press the shoulder a bit, and get out quickly. So basically, I just want to hug my husband and kids. I could do that all day
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Anonymous
NP. What kind of answer is this? |
Anonymous
The poster isn't interested in an answer related to the actual post. It is a passive-aggressive attempt to "prove" whatever his/her issue is with the use of the word ambivalent. |
Anonymous
| I once hugged someone when I meant to shake their hand. I cannot for the life of me figure out what was going on in my head, but I have been haunted by it ever since. The person involved was polite but must have thought I was a lunatic. |
Anonymous
| I didn't grow up in a hugging family, so I don't initiate -- and it does creep me out with older relatives, older men etc. BUT I have grown to like hugging friends -- as they grew up as huggers and always initiate. I am probably not a good hugger though -- I go with the single arm and I don't think I squeeze hard bc I feel self conscious about my boobs pressing against them, though they don't seem to care. |
Anonymous
| Hugs for everyone. |
Anonymous
| Ugh, I hate huggers who inflict their hugging on me. Unless you are my immediate family or you just came back from a war, don't hug me. If I only know you from work, REALLY don't hug me. If you are a friendly acquaintance and I just saw you two weeks ago, please, just give me a friendly wave. |