Your hugging policy and/or practice

[Anonymous]

The fact that OP wants to know someones "policy" on hugging makes me thing she is more DC than Washington.

Time to move back to Omaha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Do you know what ambivalent means?

Yes, seems like you need a hug, but not sure I want to be the one to do it.

So what are your strongly conflicting emotions about hugging?

Yes. Now go away.

NP. What kind of answer is this?

The poster isn't interested in an answer related to the actual post. It is a passive-aggressive attempt to "prove" whatever his/her issue is with the use of the word ambivalent.

The issue is - the use of the word is incorrect.

No, the word is not used incorrectly. Cambridge Dictionary, online version hope that is good enough, ambivalent "having two ?opposing ?feelings at the same ?time, or being ?uncertain about how you ?feel"

[Anonymous]

The ? marks are some formatting issue from copy & pasting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:59 again. This post might just be the right place for this: I'd like to report a hugging foul.

I hugged a client recently because he just needed a damn hug- had gone though an online catfishing scenario-he's gay, having a hard time finding love, and I could listen and support, but really couldn't take away that sad feeling, so without any prompting from him, I gave him a hug. I am a nurse, and one of the perks/downfalls is that it kind of is your job to give hugs when needed... some people have no social circle or family support... but I rarely do 'professional hugs' and there are reasons for this. It has BITTEN ME IN THE ASS.

Now every time I see him, he ends the session with ..."Whelllllp...." arms extended to give/receive a hug. He's a really nice guy and I enjoy him but it is just way too many hugs for me. ugghhhh how does one pull back from hugging? So now I make it a point to pick up and hold something or walk ahead of him. He faked me out the other day, though... I held a chart in my arms and as he was leaving, he wasn't going for a hug, so I turned away, placing it down and that's when he pivoted and came in for the hug. Eff me.

After telling DH about clients like this, he now does impressions of some of the worst hugs I've ever gotten, including the old man who always says out loud "I am hugging you" in a LOUD Ron Burgundy voice. Every. Time-He hugs one of the staff. Also the wimpy "can I have a hug...?" weasely guy or lady (dont' want to do it/their hugs suck).

Even a Dr with whom I work... I was saying happy new year, and staff were hugging and I went to hug him and he held me in the longest stiffest embrace, taking a 6 count of the longes inhalation and expiration ever... like a relaxation technique... to the point that it seemed dutiful.... like it was bad for him too.... the next week and several times since he has bought me books on hugging. Yes they exist. "He's judging YOUR hugs!" DH told me "you think you are good- maybe he thought YOU sucked!" No, I have since learned that "hugging is undervalued" and he apparently wants us to hug more. It's like working at Walmart for the morning chant/doctrine repetition. Except huggier.

OMG I notice a theme. I either turn people into huggers (against my will) or my hugs unleash their inner hugger.

You can understand my dilemma- maybe I need to find a new job!

LOL!

BTDT. You have to make sure you say hi casually in passing and not stop. So walk by and wave and smile and keep going. Have a conversation with someone else nearby avoid eye contact and then look over smile and go back to serious eye contact convo. Break the hug greeting association.

But you know what? You may be the only hug he gets sometimes.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a hugger. I'm generally uncomfortable with touching (thanks to past physical abuse) and will not initiate a hug. I also had a double mastectomy last year, and it's kind of uncomfortable to hug.

That said, I know some wonderful people who are huggers and when we meet, I know it's coming and I do my best to hug well. By this I mean transmit my actual affection to them and not be awkward or fake about it.

In every case, I appreciate my hugger friends and I feel loved and the experience is always good.

I must send out basic non hugger tendencies, because I've never been in a situation where a stranger or distant acquaintance tried to hug me. I'm only approached by my close hugger friends, who all know how awkward I am, but seem to like me anyway.

My best friend, who is welcome to hug me any time she wants, is the only one who always asks, do you need/want a hug today? I get to choose and she is never offended if I decline.

I have a different "policy" with kids. I'll hug any kid who wants to be hugged. I have several kids in my life and they all come from huggy families. That said, they also have their own phases and wishes and I believe firmly in their ability to choose how they feel on any particular day. So I always ask when we meet or part...is today a hug day? And they pick and I'm fine with it. What they have taught me is that there are lots of sweet ways to show love. Maybe it isn't a hug day, but it might be a kiss on the forehead day or a squeeze a hand day and it all communicates affection.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting to think about this. My son always chooses the most inconvenient times for hugs, like while I'm doing the dishes. He also wants them like 100 times a day. My cousins do the wet blanket hug (which I always thought of as the wet fish hug). They just hover there an inch away from your body like they are afraid to touch you. Gives me the creeps. I wish they would just hug me already. Or they are standoffish and don't hug at all. One time my uncle hugged me before I could get my arms up and then asked why I never hug him back?! Because you're holding my arms down! Other weird hugs-hugging someone with bad posture and fake IL hugs. In general, I think hugs are good but you have to go all the way or not at all. I think there should be like a hugging fest, hugging holiday, or hugging meetup, but that might get creepy if people were awkward about it.