Dating Spinoff: Ladies - how important is it to you

[Anonymous]

for a guy to be good in bed?

What (in your opinion) makes a guy good at sex? (Please keep it non explicit).

[Anonymous]

Very. The best lover I have had was one who was very focused on pleasing me and took time to learn how my body responded to different things he did. This made me want tk do more to make him feel good as well as be less inhibited. We also had a lot of chemistry. Timing was off for us though. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

It has absolutely nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with how the woman feels about herself, how confident she is, etc.

[Anonymous]

Don't be lazy. Lead. But that's me, YMMV.

[Anonymous]

It's extremely important. It bonds you and the memory of it gets you through the tough times when you can't be as active for whatever reason. Without a strong intimate connection all kinds of things can get between you as a couple. It's vital to me.
What makes him good is part equipment, part effort(pays attention and reads signals) and part attitude (willing to try just about anything).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's extremely important. It bonds you and the memory of it gets you through the tough times when you can't be as active for whatever reason. Without a strong intimate connection all kinds of things can get between you as a couple. It's vital to me.
What makes him good is part equipment, part effort(pays attention and reads signals) and part attitude (willing to try just about anything).

I completely agree about the connection and the bond it creates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has absolutely nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with how the woman feels about herself, how confident she is, etc.

Are you high? Guys can be bad in bed, even with confident women. Lay down the crack pipe and work on your game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has absolutely nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with how the woman feels about herself, how confident she is, etc.

Are you high? Guys can be bad in bed, even with confident women. Lay down the crack pipe and work on your game.

Absolutely. I briefly dated a guy who would not listen and insisted upon doing what he knew to do deslite my clearly saying I didnt like X I preferred Y. And then he was a 5-sec guy. Not sure where he ended up with that weak sex game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has absolutely nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with how the woman feels about herself, how confident she is, etc.

Are you high? Guys can be bad in bed, even with confident women. Lay down the crack pipe and work on your game.

Absolutely. I briefly dated a guy who would not listen and insisted upon doing what he knew to do deslite my clearly saying I didnt like X I preferred Y. And then he was a 5-sec guy. Not sure where he ended up with that weak sex game.

Seriously. I went on a date with a guy that started telling me how most women suck in bed, while trying to get into bed. While kissing me, he rammed his tongue into my mouth like a squirming slug. *shudder*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has absolutely nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with how the woman feels about herself, how confident she is, etc.

Snort!

Some people are great at sex, the same way that some people are fantastic dancers, others are phenomenal cooks, etc. Some of it is natural talent, some is practice/training. Most people can reach a certain level of competence if they try hard enough, but there's a point where you can separate the merely good from the great. I'm sure that there are lots of people who are satisfied with good sex because they have other things they value as much if not more in a partner. My SO is great, but I'd still love him if he was just good.

[Anonymous]

For dating? Not at all, because I don't have sex outside of marriage.

[Anonymous]

He has to be decent and not bad and willing to please and learn. You can teach a lot of things. My DH was not particularly experienced (neigther was I) but we were honest and open with each other and learned together as to what makes it good for us.
If he's bad and doesn't know he's bad and doesn't want to change anything then that's a problem.

[Anonymous]

Connection conquers things like penis size. Love always makes sex better, if the connection is mental, physical, emotional, with no resentment or disrespect.

Technical skill is important. Oral is not easy and we all should become practiced at pleasing our partners.

Listening to partners without judgement, hearing what makes them feel good. Loving the foreplay and cuddling after. Falling into the other person's mood and wavelength and not falling into the same old same old.

[Anonymous]

Also, knowing how to kiss!!!!

[Anonymous]

Some guys are bad in the sack

but some women seem to feel that they shouldn't have to explain what they like -- men should be able to read their minds.