My son the most childishly mature insane genius I've ever met. What do I do!?

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01/27/2016 21:33

Subject: My son the most childishly mature insane genius I've ever met. What do I do!?

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Anonymous

I have two children twins, girl and boy that are six years old. My son, Oliver, is definitely, without a doubt more mature than me, and twice as clever. Even though he still has trouble talking with his voice he's not just a grammar Nazi he's grammar Hitler. I've tried talks with him, but he can barely speak. When he writes, I can't understand a word he's written without a dictionary at my side, his vocabulary is like Greece and his quoting of other books mainly the Bible, is confusing. He's one of those Bibliomania blokes. I'm really, really worried about him. I am embarrassed too.

Has any one else experienced this? I can tell that Oliver is definitely going to have problems in school, which is very soon. A quote from his writing, letter for letter. This is to show you just how absurd his mind is. I may have messed a few things up while typing it, but here it is:

Oh, not compulsory education. Don't get me started on that subject. Call me idiosyncratic, peculiar, weird, strange, awkward, different, separate; I don't really care what you say, I stick by my words. Education is a virtue, a vanity I care more for than my own life, in this world of life, in paradisiacal Heaven, or may God see me fit damned in the deepest trench of Hell in Sheol, in the lake of fire or where sinned angels rest in Tartarus, Second Peter 2:4 says, “God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to [Tartarus], putting them in chains of darkness to be held for judgment.” even with them my mind remains unchanged; I still care for education with an urge and need and desire and want for knowledge carved irrevocably into my heart. Compelled schooling, however; it's an entirely different matter. Sometimes I think it's just brainwashing. It's a better conspiracy than lizard Obama, at the very least. Sticking me into school is like sticking diesel into your truck; just don't do it. I'm too barbaric, too rude, too selfish, too cruel, too me for socialization with school students, anyhow. Learning involves debates; I'm not one to sit idly by in a one-sided lecture where the 'teacher' is always correct, regardless of my point or anyone else's. I'll say it, I'll say it many times more, I'll say it with Lucifer's pride, says Isaiah 14:12–14: "How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who weakened the nations! For you have said in your heart: 'I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation on the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.' Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol, to the lowest depths of the Pit." I care for education more than my own life, but the condemnation of education belongs in Hades, in Hell. But if I stray from this path, and I don't expect you to obey me on this one, but I beg you: if I stray from my path of freedom, shoot me, end me where I stand. Actually, save the bullet; shoot me if I side with Hillary Clinton or some other democratic monster.

I'm not joking. I asked him about is opinion of school, and that's what he wrote. I’m just as shocked as the next bloke. No reference. There was no bible next to him. He didn't have thesaurus. I'm seriously worried. It's unnerving. Oliver handles the finances better then me and says when I mistake needs and wants. My wife used to handle finances, but since she's moved away Oliver has taken control over them. I would give him all the money if it wasn't for the fact, that he would spend all designated recreational money on a mountain of stuffed animals (Because Melia, my daughter, loves stuffed animals) and a tower of Shakespeare, and Charley Dickens. Please tell me someone else has experienced this. It’s kind of freaking me out. Is this an early sign of something serious? Besides, it's really embarrassing when the child becomes the parent. Every night he coaches me in his 'views of morality' and Christianity. I can't help but see him as my equal or even my superior. If I ever try to take control, he reverses it and humiliates me.

Or has my son become possessed by Satan?

Seriously but no, please help me with this. Oliver's only six, this is too much. Everyone deserves a blissful and arrogant childhood but he doesn't seem to have one. What's up with my son? My heart's like a cavalry charge of lions right now. He's always been clever for his age but, this is seriously just too much. He hasn't fallen for Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, either. He saw straight threw those fairy tales. Oh Jesus, when I had my sister look after him, she talked to Oliver in that baby voice (The "Hello Wittle Won. Arnt you swo cuwt" kind of baby voice) he, and I'm not exaggerating, wrote down "Don't you dare speak to me in such a condescending voice!" He's just six! Or is he my grandfather in disguise, for God's sake?

Maybe I shouldn't be a parent, but it's a bit late for rethinking.