Ex-husband bad mouthing new boyfriend to children
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Anonymous
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How do I handle my former husband's behavior? He is telling the boys not to listen to my boyfriend. Former husband is extremely jealous of my new BF. BF is not going away. And I'm afraid of what he'll tell the boys. My youngest son is already acting up at school, he's 5. I'm concerned about the boys welfare. Can a custody attorney help stop this behavior?????
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Anonymous
| How do you know this is happening, OP? |
Anonymous
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The issue is not your ex husband.
The issue is YOU letting your new boyfriend interact with your kids in any capacity. Your kids should not be aware he exists and certainly should not have spent enough time around him that they need to "listen" to new boyfriend in any way. Your husband is 100% correct on this one. |
Anonymous
| Focus on the kids. No new BF. |
Anonymous
Don't custody agreements generally have clauses written in that new boyfriends/girlfriends/lovers are not to be around the children? If you are consulting with a custody lawyer this should be written into your agreement, for the protection of your kids. If your son is acting up since the appearance of the new boyfriend in their lives then you need to make sure that part of your life is separate from your kids' world. You are being an irresponsible parent and possibly putting your kids at risk (emotionally for sure and potentially physically). |
Anonymous
My eight year old told me "Daddy said not to listen to BF." The issue is not the BF, he's great with the boys and does more for them than their Dad. The issue is a jealous and mean spirited former husband. |
Anonymous
| Dad is a jealous former husband, who is a bully and will do anything he can to make my life miserable. He is an angry man who can't get over the divorce. |
Anonymous
How did you respond when he said this? I can't imagine going to an attorney over this, I would simply tell my child that Daddy get to make the rules in his house, but not in yours, and in your house, they need to listen to BF. Your kids need you to be the reasonable, rational parent they can count on to respond appropriately, not a hysterical person who flies off the handle and hauls in attorneys over every slight. |
Anonymous
| OP, your eight year old is not a reliable reporter of what his father said -- either the context or the tone of the statement. |
Anonymous
Doesn't matter. NEW boyfriends do not get to be around the kids. Period. Put their well being first before your sex and dating life. |
Anonymous
And yet, you loved him enough to have children with him. So sad for the kids. |
Anonymous
Why? He's just some guy screwing their mom. |
Anonymous
Yeah. This is true. Even though your ex seems like he's probably a jerk and will make things impossible no matter what. But no 5 year old should have an awareness of his parents' dating lives unless marriage is imminent. |
Anonymous
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"Rob is very kind to you and I expect you to treat him with the same respect you use with any adult like teachers and coaches and other parents. He is not here to parent you like Dad and I do so there is nothing to worry about."
Then tell Ex "The kids have informed me that you tell them not to listen to Rob. Please help me teach them to respect adults by not being so mean spirited. The kids know you are their only father so don't worry that anyone is stepping in there. Please just try to be an adult here and model decent manners for the kids." Ex is probably worried about what role this guy has in his kids lives. Does he need to be nervous that he's being replaced? |
Anonymous
+1 OP, your kids have had enough chaos and disruption in their short lives. Why are you adding to that with a new man for them to contend with? Focus on your children and their needs. |