not in love with husband
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Anonymous
| Is there anyone else in this situation? I've been married 5 years and I think maybe I never was in love with him. At least not the way I want to be. I thought life would be different than it is. Its just kind of boring. He is kind of boring. I'm feeling like I need more in life but I'm not sure what that is. Has anyone ended their marriage because they wanted more out of life? Your advice will be helpful. |
Anonymous
Hard to say. Marriage can be boring, and being with the same person for years can be boring. If you were expecting fireworks and tummy flip/flops to last forever then you've probably watched too many RomComs. Mature love isn't the same as courtship love. Only you can decide. |
Anonymous
|
I think some of this is normal. Some people like comfort and stability (what you call boring). You need to make an exciting life for yourself. Would your husband care if you did things solo? Joined a group or went with friends on vacation, etc.?
Whether or not this is worth trying to improve, depends on kids. If you have none, and you think you made a mistake, no harm in ending it. Its not possible for us in internet land to really tell if you married the wrong person or if this is just the normal complacency of an otherwise good marriage. |
Anonymous
#yawn |
Anonymous
| I have been there. It was always fine, we got along, but I had these same nagging feelings. One day I just straight up asked him, "do you even still want to be married to me?" And he said "I don't know." So that was my answer. We had a quick divorce that was mostly amicable. I'm much much happier now. It wasn't complicated because we didn't have any kids so I guess the level of messiness could vary. |
Anonymous
|
I think some women see their friends getting married around them and just feel they have to (they've been to showers, etc.) and feel it is their turn even if the person isn't right.
Try to make it work OP. Did you have the Cinderalla syndrome? |
Anonymous
which part? The wanting to be a princess or the having to clean the house part? |
Anonymous
|
If you're bored, you're probably boring.
I don't say that to be mean. But I think you are probably at least partly responsible going off of the information you've provided. What have you done to make your life more exciting and interesting, with and without your husband? Do you have goals? Do you have hobbies? Do you ever do anything kind of thrilling, like playing in a friendly low-stakes poker game or renting four wheelers? Life is what you make it. Few men are going to be exciting and thrilling much past the honey moon stage. |
Anonymous
| Excitement should not come from your husband. You should make your life exciting yourself. A husband should be stable, a good parent, trustworthy, faithful, reliable. |
Anonymous
| What do you have to offer, OP? Maybe you're husband thinks the same thing about you. Why are you expecting him to entertain you? Grow up. |
Anonymous
| Test the waters by treating yourself to an affair. |
Anonymous
What's your story now? Single? Married? Kids? How long ago was that? |
Anonymous
We separated in November of 13. Divorce final in April of 14. I started dating a new guy in June of 14 and we live together now and I couldn't be happier. He's made me realize that I was settling for stability. |
Anonymous
| OP, I am in your shoes, I think deep down you know if it's just your run of the mill long term marriage complacency or if you married the wrong person. |
Anonymous
| I settled for stability too. Big mistake. |