Sexless marriage and

You write out all possible options and then have a frank discussion with your partner in an open and honest way. Saying I don't want to lose you but I can't live like this forever. Either we change things in some way within the marriage or we need to separate.

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01/14/2016 23:05

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

I personally wouldn't be able to live with such a "partner". Of course I don't know the rest of the story, maybe he/she tells you they love you in a different way, and it is just the physical attraction that is gone. That would be the best case scenario, in that case I would ask for an open marriage.

If your partner is not even clearly professing his/her love for you, then it is time to end it. I would prefer to live alone than live with someone who doesn't want to be with me ..

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01/14/2016 23:10

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

Tell your partner how you feel (rejected, hurt, angry).

Have an open, honest, somewhat painful discussion of what's going on.

Both then commit to change: losing weight, getting in shape, helping each other more with house/bills/kids/schoolwork/IL & sibling issues. Talk some more. Talk again.

Have sex ANYWAY! It's a must to create/build/restore intimacy.

Have time away from the kids to rediscover each other. Enlist parents, friends, sitters if needed.

Do this to SAVE your marriage. It's on the brink. Save it for each other -- and for the kids. (Divorce is no fun. Neither are blended family situations -- flame me if you need to, but it's true. It's full of jealousy and residual pain that can drone on for decades.)

Revisit. Repeat. Revisit again. Repeat again.
Do this until you rediscover each other, your love, why you took your marriage vows in the first place.

Finally, give up if necessary for your sanity. At least you will know that you tried.

Good luck.

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01/14/2016 23:10

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

Devils advocate here. What has changed? Has your appearance changed for the worse (beyond normal aging?) have you developed bad habits or gotten too comfortable? Do you fart or scratch your balls in front of her (if a DH) or have you taken to wearing a pony tail and sweats and no makeup (if a DW)? Have you been fighting a lot? Lost a job? Done something he/she can't get past like infidelity or a porn problem? Have you become a sloth? Drinking too much?

We need more info. Have you become objectively less attractive physically or emotionally?

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01/15/2016 00:06

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Tell your partner how you feel (rejected, hurt, angry).

Have an open, honest, somewhat painful discussion of what's going on.

Both then commit to change: losing weight, getting in shape, helping each other more with house/bills/kids/schoolwork/IL & sibling issues. Talk some more. Talk again.

Have sex ANYWAY! It's a must to create/build/restore intimacy.

Have time away from the kids to rediscover each other. Enlist parents, friends, sitters if needed.

Do this to SAVE your marriage. It's on the brink. Save it for each other -- and for the kids. (Divorce is no fun. Neither are blended family situations -- flame me if you need to, but it's true. It's full of jealousy and residual pain that can drone on for decades.)

Revisit. Repeat. Revisit again. Repeat again.
Do this until you rediscover each other, your love, why you took your marriage vows in the first place.

Finally, give up if necessary for your sanity. At least you will know that you tried.

Good luck.

Great post. Its rare to see sane people on this forum.

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01/15/2016 02:39

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

Simple. You don't.

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01/15/2016 08:04

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Tell your partner how you feel (rejected, hurt, angry).

Have an open, honest, somewhat painful discussion of what's going on.

Both then commit to change: losing weight, getting in shape, helping each other more with house/bills/kids/schoolwork/IL & sibling issues. Talk some more. Talk again.

Have sex ANYWAY! It's a must to create/build/restore intimacy.

Have time away from the kids to rediscover each other. Enlist parents, friends, sitters if needed.

Do this to SAVE your marriage. It's on the brink. Save it for each other -- and for the kids. (Divorce is no fun. Neither are blended family situations -- flame me if you need to, but it's true. It's full of jealousy and residual pain that can drone on for decades.)

Revisit. Repeat. Revisit again. Repeat again.
Do this until you rediscover each other, your love, why you took your marriage vows in the first place.

Finally, give up if necessary for your sanity. At least you will know that you tried.

Good luck.

+1 It's a hard process to go thru when your spouse no longer acts like they love you, it's deep hurt everyday. Try. Try. Try. Counseling is a must. Divorce is no fun.

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01/15/2016 09:04

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

As tough as this situation is, it is probably more common and even tougher when one partner feels this way but won't admit it or just says (usually) she has lost her libido. It is easier to walk away when you fight constantly, worry about yelling in front of kids, etc. If two people can avoid that even when sex is a core frustration - and assuming one won't agree to the open marriage bit -- then it is a bit of a moral quagmire when kids are involved -- balancing parents happiness in a fundamental way against at least some degree of near certain negative impact on children. If only we all could have crystal balls to see how it would work out under different scenarios . . . .

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01/15/2016 09:28

Subject: Sexless marriage and

quote

Anonymous

Lots of people feel that way but never admit it. It's the admitting it that causes the problem. It's a no win situation and very very common and typical.