Remind MIL about gifts or forget it?

[Anonymous]

In the fall, before my older daughter's birthday, my MIL asked what she could get her. DH and I agreed she has plenty of toys (and we have a very small space) and asked a few people if they thought it was OK to suggest grandma buy our dd a class (ie gymboree), as the birth of our second child would fall close to hers, and we also thought having a weekly activity with dd1 would also offset any negative feelings with the baby's arrival. At the same time, my MIL asked what she could buy for the baby. Since we were having another girl and were set on clothes and toys, we asked a few folks if they thought it appropriate to ask MIL for a contribution for a photographer for family shots with the baby. Some ppl thought she probably intended a physical gift but most agreed that family photos were something grandma would get joy from, so we suggested it and she said of course.

It's now more than 3 months later and we've never received our gift contributions. I now feel awkward for suggesting either of those, and would never follow through with her, unless DH asked. She's otherwise a generous person and not strapped for cash but maybe some people just want to give physical gifts only?

Just let it go?

[Anonymous]

No don't let it go. She probably just thought she could pay when you signed up. Just mention the classes or the photographs and ask.

[Anonymous]

I meant unless DH reminded her, not if DH asked me to follow up.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn't know where to start. Since these are "virtual" gifts, she might need some guidance. Select a handful of photographers whose styles you like and send her links. As far as the Gymboree one, maybe schedule a single class and invite MIL along. They do have small items at Gymboree, their bubbles are great, and maybe she can check out class prices and give a Gymbo trinket along with the gift?

[Anonymous]

Wow, sorry, I do not agree with the PPs.
You all sound spoiled and entitled.

When someone asks for suggestions, you give them once.

When someone gives you a gift - wanted or not - the response is, 'thank you!'

Be grateful your children even have grandparents who are alive to spend time with them.

[Anonymous]

if someone wants to give you a gift they will find a way!!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't ask. If anything, say that you've scheduled a photographer for x date and see if it jogs her memory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sorry, I do not agree with the PPs.
You all sound spoiled and entitled.

When someone asks for suggestions, you give them once.

When someone gives you a gift - wanted or not - the response is, 'thank you!'

Be grateful your children even have grandparents who are alive to spend time with them.

Where is the entitlement? OP was asked to select gifts she would like and the giver did not follow through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sorry, I do not agree with the PPs.
You all sound spoiled and entitled.

When someone asks for suggestions, you give them once.

When someone gives you a gift - wanted or not - the response is, 'thank you!'

Be grateful your children even have grandparents who are alive to spend time with them.

I agree with ^ 100%!

[Anonymous]

Did you talk specifics of the gift with her? Have you had the pictures taken? If you were expecting her to give you a gift certificate or just cash that you'll eventually put toward photos but she's waiting for you to tell her you're ready to get the pictures done so she can find out how much your preferred photographer costs and then can write a check, you're not going to get far with just waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't ask. If anything, say that you've scheduled a photographer for x date and see if it jogs her memory.

+1

[Anonymous]

Never ask for cash. Tacky. Ask for physical gifts, even if it is just a small token gift.

[Anonymous]

Just let it go. And she has sent you a message. You're micromanaging too much (maybe in her view though you have fine intentions) She wants to buy something that will bring her joy to give. Maybe your suggestions don't do it for her. OR if it's possible that she intended to buy a gift, she really did, and just didn't get around to it, well she's a little flaky. Certainly a possibility. I wouldn't count on anything, a just be appreciative of whatever she decides to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sorry, I do not agree with the PPs.
You all sound spoiled and entitled.

When someone asks for suggestions, you give them once.

When someone gives you a gift - wanted or not - the response is, 'thank you!'

Be grateful your children even have grandparents who are alive to spend time with them.

I agree with ^ 100%!

Me too. Talk about grabs-ville. Leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier but just want to add that it's strange the way you mentioned multiple times that you are consulting other people about these decisions.