Remind MIL about gifts or forget it?

[Anonymous]

I think your MIL probably just doesn't know where to start. Did you expect her to know what Gymboree even is? Which location and class you are interested in for your child? And is she supposed to call and hire the photographer. She is probably just confused and waiting for guidance from you.

I really think you should have just let her buy your kids a physical gift. Your MIL sounds like she just wants to please you, and you are making it difficult. Just suggest a toy that your kids will enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I would not say a word.
She probably said "of course" when she was either caught off guard or in the moment, and then realizes you wanted money.

I get that you think those were good ideas, it's not that they aren't, but you basically asked for money to cover something for your benefit. She wasn't going to be in the picture or at the class and you would.

Not giving the money is her polite way of telling you she doesn't want to give you money.
I would take the hint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sorry, I do not agree with the PPs.
You all sound spoiled and entitled.

When someone asks for suggestions, you give them once.

When someone gives you a gift - wanted or not - the response is, 'thank you!'

Be grateful your children even have grandparents who are alive to spend time with them.

Where is the entitlement? OP was asked to select gifts she would like and the giver did not follow through.

Mil asked for gift ideas and the OP asked for cash. The part about justifying the cash because grandma will get enjoyment out of the picture is what nailed it.
Actually, even thinking about reminding someone about a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sorry, I do not agree with the PPs.
You all sound spoiled and entitled.

When someone asks for suggestions, you give them once.

When someone gives you a gift - wanted or not - the response is, 'thank you!'

Be grateful your children even have grandparents who are alive to spend time with them.

Where is the entitlement? OP was asked to select gifts she would like and the giver did not follow through.

Mil asked for gift ideas and the OP asked for cash. The part about justifying the cash because grandma will get enjoyment out of the picture is what nailed it.
Actually, even thinking about reminding someone about a gift.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sorry, I do not agree with the PPs.
You all sound spoiled and entitled.

When someone asks for suggestions, you give them once.

When someone gives you a gift - wanted or not - the response is, 'thank you!'

Be grateful your children even have grandparents who are alive to spend time with them.

Where is the entitlement? OP was asked to select gifts she would like and the giver did not follow through.

Mil asked for gift ideas and the OP asked for cash. The part about justifying the cash because grandma will get enjoyment out of the picture is what nailed it.
Actually, even thinking about reminding someone about a gift.

+1

-1. OP told her what wild be helpful/useful to the family. MIL is free to not take the suggestion.

For your original question OP I think it would come down to what kind of person you MIL is.

My mom is a space cadet and would have totally forgotten about it and would be thrilled I reminded her. My MIL would have wanted a notification of when I purchased whatever it was and then would have sent the check. My aunt would have been offended.

If you don't think you have a handle on what kind of person she is then I'd have DH ask. "Hey mom I know you said you were interested in helping out with some family photographs and maybe a gymboree class. Is that still something you're interested in? If not that's no big deal but wanted ti check since we're moving forward with reservations." My mom would be upset if we went ahead and paid for something she wanted to help with but had forgotten about.

[Anonymous]

Let.this.go, op. She asked for a gift suggestion, not to finance your pictures or gymboree class. In any event, you never ask someone for a gift--even if they just forgot. We need to go back to teaching manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let.this.go, op. She asked for a gift suggestion, not to finance your pictures or gymboree class. In any event, you never ask someone for a gift--even if they just forgot. We need to go back to teaching manners.

+1. You sound awful and entitled OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let.this.go, op. She asked for a gift suggestion, not to finance your pictures or gymboree class. In any event, you never ask someone for a gift--even if they just forgot. We need to go back to teaching manners.

+1. You sound awful and entitled OP

+1...OP you essentially asked for cash. Pretty rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let.this.go, op. She asked for a gift suggestion, not to finance your pictures or gymboree class. In any event, you never ask someone for a gift--even if they just forgot. We need to go back to teaching manners.

+1. You sound awful and entitled OP

+1...OP you essentially asked for cash. Pretty rude.

-1. You asked for experiences, not cash. Studies have shown that experiences, not stuff, make us happy. Maybe this is a generational thing, but I am totally with you on not wanting her to waste money on gifts that will go unused- though agree with the PP who said it depends on your MIL. My mom is super practical and would not want to get us something we could not use. She would be fine contributing to an event or class. My MIL just likes shopping and giving physical things, so we just give them away and recognize that the gift is in the giving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier but just want to add that it's strange the way you mentioned multiple times that you are consulting other people about these decisions.

Yes, that is so strange. Out of the blue really, on this site where people crowdsource every decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let.this.go, op. She asked for a gift suggestion, not to finance your pictures or gymboree class. In any event, you never ask someone for a gift--even if they just forgot. We need to go back to teaching manners.

+1. You sound awful and entitled OP

+1...OP you essentially asked for cash. Pretty rude.

-1. You asked for experiences, not cash. Studies have shown that experiences, not stuff, make us happy. Maybe this is a generational thing, but I am totally with you on not wanting her to waste money on gifts that will go unused- though agree with the PP who said it depends on your MIL. My mom is super practical and would not want to get us something we could not use. She would be fine contributing to an event or class. My MIL just likes shopping and giving physical things, so we just give them away and recognize that the gift is in the giving.

Agree. Experiences are awesome. The MIL is free to go ahead and get a gift. My MIL does that sometimes when she gets overwhelmed with suggestions (that she demands!). So she makes the ultimate decision. It's really about her personality, OP, as others have mentioned. My MIL forgets that she told us to buy such and such for so and so because the website is so hard and she would write us a check...

[Anonymous]

I would not follow up, it would just seem like a money grab. If you want the pictures and the class, go ahead and sign up and pay for them yourself. If she decides to reimburse you for them at some point, wonderful. But to ask would be obnoxious.

Honestly, the cost of each of those things (gymboree classes & professional photo shoot) is much greater than any baby gift I can think of (unless she was going to buy you a bugaboo stroller or something), so it seems pretty nervy to suggest them as an alternative to a gift she could pick out herself.

[Anonymous]

I think you're micromanaging the gift suggestions, especially for a grandparent. Give her a list of tangible items next time.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she was thinking of $20 gifts, not $500 gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your MIL probably just doesn't know where to start. Did you expect her to know what Gymboree even is? Which location and class you are interested in for your child? And is she supposed to call and hire the photographer. She is probably just confused and waiting for guidance from you.

I really think you should have just let her buy your kids a physical gift. Your MIL sounds like she just wants to please you, and you are making it difficult. Just suggest a toy that your kids will enjoy.

I agree with this.