Can someone please explain the whole frat thing to me? What goes in rushing and what is it all about
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Anonymous
I was most definitely not a "cool kid" and frankly am not a cool adult either, which suits me just fine. When I see the "cool culture" displayed on TV makes me kind of happy to be a quasi nerd
However ironically my kids are anything but. I secretly wish they were more like me but they seem happy and good for them. They are super social, well liked and outgoing. So my son is "rushing for a fraternity". I know nothing about this and maybe i am better off. I don't think being the worrier that I am, I would want to know the details. However in layman's terms, can someone tell me how long rushing is, what kinds of things they do (please make it G rated for this prude) and once they are "in" what then? Whats the point of belonging to a frat? This may sound stupid but are there min. GPA's that are required to stay in a frat? I would like to think so but not sure if that would be considered "uncool" Thanks ahead for any insight into what is to me a foreign world..... |
Anonymous
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My son is in a 2nd tier frat at the University of South Carolina. I will answer what I can, but I have no sorority experience either.
If it's a Southern school, and if he is from the DC area, he most likely will not get into a first tier frat (Not a bad thing, first tier frats hold the biggest parties, have the biggest douches and egos and are the ones that have the party houses on campus.) Southern frats are very big on southern pride and tend to only let kids in that are either legacies and/or have deep southern roots. Your child, with a non sorority nerd mom that doesn't live in the south, wouldn't qualify. I was super leery about my son joining a frat, but he is now a Junior and in his 3rd year in the frat. I have gone down for football games and spent time with his "brothers" and they are very nice guys. They are always there for each other for support such as packing/unpacking someone in and out at the end of the year, picking up my son from the airport, etc. A few of them have come home for a weekend to see DC, they are genuinely nice kids. The cost for us has been about 1200 a semester- that includes dues, formals (he will need a well fitting tux), weekends away (beach weekend, mountain weekend, etc.) but about 5-6 t shirts that you have to buy each semester for some sort of fundraising activity. Many frats are now non- hazing. That doesn't mean no drinking- that means no disrespect such as tying up someone, taking them into the woods, taking their clothes and leaving them naked overnight. Yeah, that happens. But in some frats it doesn't. Have an honest talk with your son about respecting himself and others- that no group is worth being disrespected for, and when the time comes for him to be top dog, how would he feel doing that to someone else? My son now has a "frat family" of brothers, and as on only child this has meant a lot to him. He has one brother who was selected to be his "big brother" and look out for him, and this year he got a "little brother" he looks after in a mentoring type way. So, for rush week, your son will go to events and choose who he wants to apply to. Then the frats will choose who they want. There is usually a ceremony. Many kids will not get picked for any frat. That sucks, but it's like a grown up version of picking teams on the playground. If you son is picked, he becomes a pledge and attends "pleducation" classes and learns about the frat. It's like a trial membership. He will get inducted later in the spring after completing his pleducation and following through on his initiation time period. In general, yes frats have minimum GPA's. Greek kids are the leaders of the social community in school events such as homecoming. It will give him more social opportunities, and in general kids that are greek do have higher GPA's then their not greek peers as a pool of people. I hope that helps. |
Anonymous
this was great! Thank you.....apparently this is a top tier frat (for whatever that means) one of the three tops at his school (only because he knows a lot of kids in it) how long does this rushing take place? The worry wart in me is visualizing all his energy and brain power going in to this instead of why he is actually there...to study! A few weeks? hope not much more than that. How do they find out if they are "in"? I am happy to hear about the min. GPA and that Greek kids tend to have higher GPA's..thats really nice news! Agree about the boundaries and a gentle reminder...which I will give him again today. Thank you! |
Anonymous
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My DC also joined a frat at a big university and it's been a good experience so far. I don't really know the details of rush, and it varies a bit by school (my 2 kids had very different processes). DC chose a mid tier frat because the top tier frat that gave him a bid didn't have the best rep on hazing.
At DCs university nearly all the sophomores live in the house. DCs junior year roommates are all frat brothers. Dcs school posts the average GPAs of each frat and there are differences. It's worth looking to see if that's available. |
Anonymous
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The actual "rush" period (lots of parties and drinking) is about a week- maybe 10 days. Then the picking happens. With guys the actual "acceptance" is less formal- I think you are just told by your new buddies. For girls they have this horrific ceremony (at least at Carolina) where all the girls stand in the horseshoe (the main part of campus) and are given bags that they all open at the same time. Some bags are empty, and some have t-shirts. The t-shirt has the name of your sorority. You open you bag and either cry or go hug your new "sisters." In front of everyone. Kids (Greek and Non Greek) hang on the sidelines to watch.
That's awesome that he already has friends in the frat so he has an "in." Pleducation classes are usually one or two nights a week for about 2 hours. If he really wants to do it, it will be up to him to budget his time and produce the grades amongst the frivolity. |
Anonymous
Ouch - empty bags?! |
Anonymous
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I went to a big SEC school with over a dozen sororities. We toured houses for a week. We made our choices via a computer program that matches you (sororities choose you and you choose sororities). Your choices get narrowed down to 3 and then you rank those. On bid day we received bids from the sorority the computer matched us with. We were inside when we opened our envelopes and then we ran outside to meet our new sisters. No hazing ever happened and our GPAs were WAY above school average. You got kicked out if you went below a 3.0 and under 3.5 you would lose privileges.
Honestly, it was the best 4 years ever because of my sorority. I was a fraternity sweetheart and I helped a lot with frat rush. There's was way less formal. If you were a guy you basically went around to the houses you wanted and saw if you fit in or not (called "rush"). There were SO many fraternities (nearly 30 I think) that you were guaranteed to find one that you loved and had lots in common with. |
Anonymous
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When I was in college and rushed a sorority, only the girls who got bids went to the bid ceremony, if you didn't get a bid, your Rho Chi (rush counselor) came to your dorm/apartment and told you personally.
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Anonymous
I don't believe this. We did occasionally have girls that wouldn't match anywhere. But they were told separately from everyone else. They kept only putting the top tier sororities on their cards when the others wanted them. It was pretty much their own fault if they didn't match. I didn't match with my dream sorority, but I'm SO happy I stuck with mine and was chosen there. It was a much better fit. |
Anonymous
This is not true. Rush is dry almost everywhere now. All official rush and pledge events will be dry. Rush generally is almost 2 full weeks. IFCs are getting tighter and tighter on enforcing this. There will be very unofficial, likely off-campus events during formal rush period depending on the school. |
Anonymous
| Rush is dry in your parent wet dreams. |
Anonymous
| Rush is basically a time for a group of boys that degrade a bunch of other boys. they do weird sexual things to them and force them to do disgusting things like drink prune juice and shit in the street. or eat twinkies off the president of the frats .... u know. I swear. |
Anonymous
+1 Same. There was no public shaming like the empty bag thing. No way would I have opted to be a part of something like that. Greek life varies so much by region, school, and individual chapter. And over time, even the chapters change. |
Anonymous
Or, you could look at it as a way to sort through the thousands of other students at a college and find a group who seem to be similar to you. My information is dated but at my state school rush was a 7 day process the week before school began. First day all girls went to all houses, there were I think 12 on my campus (you were assigned to groups led by a rush counselor. Each rush counselor hid her own affiliation for the week and was there to help the girls sort through their options and lead them through the process). Second round you went to maybe 5 or 6 max. Third round you went to two, it was a more dressy affair and ended with preference night. In each round, both girls and houses ranked ordered their preferences. There was always a cut line. After the first day of visiting 12 houses, you got to pick your top 8. Houses also had to rank order the girls coming through, it maybe a 75% rate. The narrowing continued until the final round when each girl ranked the top two, and the houses each ranked the remaining girls who came through that night. Matches were made. Bid Day, envelopes were handed out to each girl by their Rho Chis and then they all ran to their new sorority houses and the celebration began. If girls did not get a match, they were told privately. The key really for girls was to rank houses based on who you really clicked with. It's not about popularity, it's about finding that group with whom you seemed to have the most in common. Yes, it's hard to tell in short visits, but think about a party. Who do you have an easy time having a conversation and you walk away "Wow, Larla was cool. I could have talked to her all night" versus getting stuck in an awkward conversation with someone with whom you have nothing in common. At my school, even back in the 90s it was dry and pretty well-controlled. Now, the parties the night after Bid Night were a whole other story! |