Can someone please explain the whole frat thing to me? What goes in rushing and what is it all about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imAgine why any thinking human being would want to participate in something so disgusting on every level. No way would I allow my child to go Greek. And yes we are looking. At elitist ( meaning the students have brains and are primarily going to college to
Learn from a wife diversity of people ) SLACs that don't tolerate this ridiculousness.

What's ridiculous is your suggesting that there isn't an enormous amount of self-segregation and extreme snobbery at the most "elite" schools. BTDT, and am fine with my kid joining a frat or sorority at a school that actually has many more opportunities to learn from students from different backgrounds than a typical SLAC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Greek life seems so high school to me. Like, this is US, this is how WE do things, and that's THEM.

Actually, it sounds more like middle school. IME, most people were pretty much past that kind of petty crap by high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The actual "rush" period (lots of parties and drinking) is about a week- maybe 10 days. Then the picking happens. With guys the actual "acceptance" is less formal- I think you are just told by your new buddies. For girls they have this horrific ceremony (at least at Carolina) where all the girls stand in the horseshoe (the main part of campus) and are given bags that they all open at the same time. Some bags are empty, and some have t-shirts. The t-shirt has the name of your sorority. You open you bag and either cry or go hug your new "sisters." In front of everyone. Kids (Greek and Non Greek) hang on the sidelines to watch.

That's awesome that he already has friends in the frat so he has an "in." Pleducation classes are usually one or two nights a week for about 2 hours. If he really wants to do it, it will be up to him to budget his time and produce the grades amongst the frivolity.

That sounds kind of sadistic. Why don't they send an email or something, and then have the "winners" go to the ceremony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imAgine why any thinking human being would want to participate in something so disgusting on every level. No way would I allow my child to go Greek. And yes we are looking. At elitist ( meaning the students have brains and are primarily going to college to
Learn from a wife diversity of people ) SLACs that don't tolerate this ridiculousness.

What's ridiculous is your suggesting that there isn't an enormous amount of self-segregation and extreme snobbery at the most "elite" schools. BTDT, and am fine with my kid joining a frat or sorority at a school that actually has many more opportunities to learn from students from different backgrounds than a typical SLAC.

Your reason is flawed, frats & sororities offer LESS DIVERSITY, not more.

[Anonymous]

It varies so much from school to school. I went to a huge nerd school and joined the Greek system. For most people it was just a way to make socializing easier during those short windows of time when we weren't all studying. Almost everyone put school first. Maybe were also involved in other activities. Definitely nothing like the Greek system you see in movies. Nobody took it too seriously.

I was in a male-dominated major and it made it easier to connect with other women. It gave me the opportunity to meet many women I wouldn't have otherwise met. Amazing women who've gone on to make amazing accomplishments. I'm still happy to call many of them my friend.

Anyway, don't be so quick to judge when you hear "Greek system" - it might not mean what you think it means.

[Anonymous]

am fine with my kid joining a frat or sorority at a school that actually has many more opportunities to learn from students from different backgrounds than a typical SLAC.

Could you explain what a "typical SLAC" is? I'm interested in what that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

am fine with my kid joining a frat or sorority at a school that actually has many more opportunities to learn from students from different backgrounds than a typical SLAC.

Could you explain what a "typical SLAC" is? I'm interested in what that means.

Not PP, but I went to a somewhat atypical SLAC (a little quirky/crunchy) but DD and DH went to a more mainstream SLAC. They tend to be UC/UMC kids from urban/suburban areas. Some diversity but can struggle with it because many are in remote and/or cold areas. Tend to be very liberal leaning - both students but especially professors (my SLAC was on the extreme of this - think Paul Wellstone). Many students go on to graduate schools.

What do you think of when you think of SLACs?

[Anonymous]

SLACs often have very small classes and emphasize learning through discussion and interactive learning. Students get to know the other students in their major very well and often develop strong bonds with their key professors. The emphasis is on undergraduate education; although many have wonderful science programs that develop the very top candidates for graduate, medical and law school. Many of the students go on to graduate and professional schools or become artists, teachers, or entrepreneurs. The best SLACs (Williams and Amherst) are as difficult to get into as the Ivies.

[Anonymous]

They also teach writing well because the classes are small and the professors can assign a lot of written assignments and exams are normal essays. The professors read these, not graduate assistants. So as a manager I always liked to recruit SLAC graduates for jobs that required writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh...popularity contests....

The whole process makes me cringe. Why not just make friends with the other people in your dorms and/or classes? I've never understood the need to be "selected" or "worthy" of someone's friendship. Yuck.

It's really shameful. I think the Ivies did away with them a long time ago, and everyone else should have by now. It's the worst kind of elitism and the very worst of the high school cliques made official. I dropped out of rush as soon as I saw what it was all about (and because my parents said a sorority was too expensive anyway), and was so disappointed that all my new friends kept going and eventually joined different sororities. We had a great group of friends, but after that everyone went their separate ways, since sororities discouraged friendship outside the house. None of them ever spoke to me again. It was a miserable four years, so needless to say I am not well-disposed toward the Greek system.

The "Ivies" may have done away with "greek" fraternities and sororities, but what do you think clubs like Skull and Bones and the various "dining clubs" are? Greek frats are definitely not the "worst kind of elitism."

[Anonymous]

I went to UVa and it wasn't ceremonial, but you got your bids at a meeting with a bunch of girls in your same dorm, so everyone knew immediately who got in and who didn't. It was not fun. It was even less fun because they drew it out over a series of weeks, so that each week you got "cut" from a number of sororities, until either you got in somewhere or got cut completely.

You must have gone to UVA a while ago. This is not how it is done. If you don't match, you know in advance and you get don't get the information while in a group.

It's ONE week. You start with a big meeting explaining the process and the system where you enter your info. Then there are a few days when you visit the houses. By Friday, it's all done.

[Anonymous]

At UVA, if you match with a sorority, you go to a field and then sisters are there to welcome their new members. If you are a guy, the brothers come to your dorm, chant your name, and throw you up on their shoulders.

Greeks aren't the majority here and after first year, they aren't a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh...popularity contests....

Or, you could look at it as a way to sort through the thousands of other students at a college and find a group who seem to be similar to you.

My information is dated but at my state school rush was a 7 day process the week before school began. First day all girls went to all houses, there were I think 12 on my campus (you were assigned to groups led by a rush counselor. Each rush counselor hid her own affiliation for the week and was there to help the girls sort through their options and lead them through the process).

Second round you went to maybe 5 or 6 max. Third round you went to two, it was a more dressy affair and ended with preference night. In each round, both girls and houses ranked ordered their preferences. There was always a cut line. After the first day of visiting 12 houses, you got to pick your top 8. Houses also had to rank order the girls coming through, it maybe a 75% rate. The narrowing continued until the final round when each girl ranked the top two, and the houses each ranked the remaining girls who came through that night. Matches were made. Bid Day, envelopes were handed out to each girl by their Rho Chis and then they all ran to their new sorority houses and the celebration began. If girls did not get a match, they were told privately.

The key really for girls was to rank houses based on who you really clicked with. It's not about popularity, it's about finding that group with whom you seemed to have the most in common. Yes, it's hard to tell in short visits, but think about a party. Who do you have an easy time having a conversation and you walk away "Wow, Larla was cool. I could have talked to her all night" versus getting stuck in an awkward conversation with someone with whom you have nothing in common.

At my school, even back in the 90s it was dry and pretty well-controlled. Now, the parties the night after Bid Night were a whole other story!

This sounds like UF!! PP--you were a gator, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh...popularity contests....

The whole process makes me cringe. Why not just make friends with the other people in your dorms and/or classes? I've never understood the need to be "selected" or "worthy" of someone's friendship. Yuck.

It's really shameful. I think the Ivies did away with them a long time ago, and everyone else should have by now. It's the worst kind of elitism and the very worst of the high school cliques made official. I dropped out of rush as soon as I saw what it was all about (and because my parents said a sorority was too expensive anyway), and was so disappointed that all my new friends kept going and eventually joined different sororities. We had a great group of friends, but after that everyone went their separate ways, since sororities discouraged friendship outside the house. None of them ever spoke to me again. It was a miserable four years, so needless to say I am not well-disposed toward the Greek system.

The ivies have not done away with Greek life. Dartmouth is famous for it. Penn, Cornell and Columbia all have Greek life. Yale, Harvard and Princeton have eating clubs and societies. Don't know about Brown.

[Anonymous]

The whole concept of "top tier" or "bottom tier" sorority/fraternity is obnoxious and repulsive. Sounds like a caste system for drunks.