In-laws and seat belts/car seats

[Anonymous]

My in-laws are coming to visit from the Middle East with two children, 4 and 7, and I have insisted on buying proper car seats for them as NO ONE wears seat belts there and they definitely won't have child seats. I normally check seat belts before DH drives off and he agrees the kids need to be buckled but he asked me not to insist his brother be strapped in! He says it would be very disrespectful. Can I maybe mention to my SIL that I would like everyone to wear theirs and she could tell him?

[Anonymous]

I agree with you that you should insist that all children be buckled in with appropriate seats and that adults in the front seat be buckled in (that's the law). But adults in the back seats should be free to make (stupid) decisions on their own. You can certainly discuss seatbelt laws/norms with them.

[Anonymous]

Check your state laws - if he's not buckled in, you might get pulled over.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's your place to insist that an adult be buckled in. It is the law to be buckled in the back in some states. You can tell them it is the law to be buckled in the front (and check for the back) and you can explain the consequences if he gets pulled over because he probably doesn't know. After that, it's not your call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's your place to insist that an adult be buckled in. It is the law to be buckled in the back in some states. You can tell them it is the law to be buckled in the front (and check for the back) and you can explain the consequences if he gets pulled over because he probably doesn't know. After that, it's not your call.

NP here, and I agree to some extent, but I also think it's your car and your rules. Our rule is that the car doesn't move until are all properly buckled, whether they're in the back or front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's your place to insist that an adult be buckled in. It is the law to be buckled in the back in some states. You can tell them it is the law to be buckled in the front (and check for the back) and you can explain the consequences if he gets pulled over because he probably doesn't know. After that, it's not your call.

NP here, and I agree to some extent, but I also think it's your car and your rules. Our rule is that the car doesn't move until are all properly buckled, whether they're in the back or front.

That was me and for some reason I had envisioned the out of towners as driving, which doesn't make sense. Since it will be your car, I think my response depends on the consequences (I'm not sure of them). If the consequence is just financial, a ticket, explain that he might get a ticket and he would have to pay it. If the consequences are to the driver, e.g. points or driving record ramifications, then he has no choice.

[Anonymous]

I would insist on it if for no other reason than if you're in an accident he could turn into a two thousand pound missle and kill someone simple because he's bouncing around the car like a loose cannon. He doesn't have the right to endanger everyone else. If your husband doesn't care then he can drive a separate car with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would insist on it if for no other reason than if you're in an accident he could turn into a two thousand pound missle and kill someone simple because he's bouncing around the car like a loose cannon. He doesn't have the right to endanger everyone else. If your husband doesn't care then he can drive a separate car with him.

This. Kids are required by law to be harnessed. Check about the passengers. In some states the front passenger must be.

I just tell MIL the car doesn't move until everyone has their seat belts on. Kids are good at reminding her too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's your place to insist that an adult be buckled in.

Fuck that. Your car, your rules.

[Anonymous]

OP: DH will be driving and by (District) law everyone (front and back) needs to wear seat belts but DH says we won't get pulled over because the back windows are tinted. I plan on moving our son, 6, to the third row so at least he's behind. I get that in DH's culture things are different with older siblings but can I insist on it? (I should say that DH is not just being a wimp. When we visited them he always wore his seat belt even though I didn't see a single other male do so and he got teased because of it.)

[Anonymous]

You just say it's the way it works in the US. Call it a cultural difference and explain you won't drive here without everyone buckled up. "When in Rome..."

[Anonymous]

Fuck the "other culture".

In YOUR culture, in YOUR country, people are expected to wear seat belts.

Make the visitors conform. Make them respect your culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: DH will be driving and by (District) law everyone (front and back) needs to wear seat belts but DH says we won't get pulled over because the back windows are tinted. I plan on moving our son, 6, to the third row so at least he's behind. I get that in DH's culture things are different with older siblings but can I insist on it? (I should say that DH is not just being a wimp. When we visited them he always wore his seat belt even though I didn't see a single other male do so and he got teased because of it.)

I would absolutely call DH out on this. Try re-framing it for him - say he gets in an accident, how guilty will he feel if he didn't insist everyone buckle up? What message does it send to your own son? What insurance liabilities will he face if people are unbuckled?

[Anonymous]

Why are you buying a carseat for a 7 year old? I hope you mean booster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would insist on it if for no other reason than if you're in an accident he could turn into a two thousand pound missle and kill someone simple because he's bouncing around the car like a loose cannon. He doesn't have the right to endanger everyone else. If your husband doesn't care then he can drive a separate car with him.

This. I just tell my Egyptian inlaws, including a general high up in government (and therefore not used to being told to do anything) that it's the law here and please just humor his magnoona (crazy) sister in law. Never had a problem.