Bad Date Stories For Fun

[Anonymous]

What are some of your comical and crazy bad stories?

I'll give you 2 of mine:

Around date 3 or 4 I shared that my father had passed away in uncommon circumstances. My date exclaimed "Wow, that's a great anecdote!"

Another time on a 1st date a man, after downing 3 glasses of wine in under 2 hours told me:
1) He has participated in orges with the wives of his previous employers
2) His two recent ex girlfriends are "sluts" and "psycho bitches"
3) He had had two sexual harassment lawsuits taken out against him: one for addressing an assistant as "hey sexy" and the other for making an ambiguously lewd comment about what he would like to do to a baked potato at a mixed-company dinner.

I was just reminded of that last story and it gave me a good laugh, so I decided to start this thread for fun.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I have soooooo many!

I met up with a dude 2 nights before my divorce was final. It was something to do. Anyhoo! I meet him in Cleveland Park at Ardeo. He smelled of cigarettes, didn't look like his pictures at all. He started to tell me about his pending divorce, that his ex is a bitch and only wanted money, he knows lives in a penthouse with all glass in Dupont and he hates the people of upper NW DC. He started yelling at me like I was his ex, checked his phone every 5 minutes, took 2 smoke breaks, told me he had been addicted to cocaine for 2 years. He also told me it was my fault for being in the situation I was in (I should've hired a big time lawyer to suck all the money from my ex), and why in the world would I send my kid to a public school that only has art and gym 1 time per week. Finally he left to go meet some guy friend and get high. Bartender looked at me and said "Worst Date Ever". No kidding! Gave me a good laugh and story.

Just met a dude last week, clearly he wasn't over the anger of his divorce and was whining it was his first x-mas alone. It's been 3 years and he didn't want to pay the money to fly home. But he's a nomad and works for hotels and moves around alot. Doesn't want kids but asked about mine. Under his breath he told me that for 6 months him and his ex didn't have sex and said that will never happen again for him. Total sales guy and just looking for random sex. No thanks. He wasn't comfortable in his own skin. Thankfully the bartender was cute and I made small talk with another woman so it wasn't so weird. She was a cool lady and I got her card. Then he told me he wasn't just there to pay for anothers drink and escorted me out. Then went back into the bar. Whatever. Paying for my drinks doesn't mean I owe you sex.

The next 2 were from a couple of years ago. Let's just say I've learned A LOT! Enjoy!

Four-Inch-Heel Guy – I had actually talked with this guy before and I liked his energy, so I figured paying for a babysitter was worth it to just get out of the house and relax somewhere. As I was leaving to meet him, I get his text “I hope you have four-inch heels on and look slutty.” I wrote back that, no, I have boots and a skirt on. Of course he then asked ”How high are the heels?” So I got on the Metro and I started fuming. Are you kidding me? I’m paying a babysitter to hang with a guy with crazy expectations? I just wanted to go out and chillax. I exited from the Dupont Circle Metro and went to a different bar to decide if I want to go meet the guy or not. I had told him that he needed to relax with the crazy comments for me to want to meet him. He kept texting things about role playing. Two guys at the bar noticed I looked worried. I showed them the texts and chit chatted with them. They ended up being really cool (friendly without expectations) and I started to have the kind of night I wanted to have. So, I was like, fuck it, I’m not showing up to meet the guy, he deserves to be stood up. After an hour or so, the guy next to me came up and covered my eyes playing a game, but I didn’t get it. Then four-inch-heel guy showed up, looked me in the face, and said “I’m here!” I looked at him pointing to myself and said “No ho bag here!” He tried to argue with me, and then the two guys rose to my defense and argued back. It escalated and the guy across from me ended up standing up to the guy (getting out of his seat) and the yelling continued. Finally four-inch-heel guy left. Thank goodness I never met him. I never told him where I was. I guess he searched every Dupont Circle bar to find me. Scary! And the guy was 47 with kids, but even at that age some men can’t behave like men.

Beat Me Guy – Maybe a couple of weeks later I did the same thing. I got a babysitter to meet a dude. He seemed like a nice, normal guy on the phone so I was a little excited to see him. Well, as I got to the Metro, I texted him and said “Shoot, I have a five minute wait for the Metro. You are going to beat me there”. Well, somehow that was code for him to text me back saying something about taking me back to his place, holding me down, and spanking me. I never got on the Metro, so I stood him up. Then he texted me back that I had a sense of humor failure. Problem is, I get that it might be a joke, however, I hadn’t even met him yet. So I went to my local bar and hung out by myself. Why men have to behave like douchebags, I don’t know. Expecting respect is a human right. He deserved to be stood up!

[Anonymous]

Divorced dating sounds awful, I think I will workon my marriage

[Anonymous]

And texting seems to either ruin dates or help weed out the awful ones...
--someone who stopped dating by the time texting was in

[Anonymous]

Ooo glad my stories helped! I have met some nice men, and gained some friends so its not all bad. I agree about text and honestly, after not dating since 1998 I didn't have a clue what I was doing. It's a new world out there for sure. Expectations are raised based on pictures and email. Nothing is better than face to face.

What I have learned is that I really do love my freedom. And while divorce wasn't on my to-do list, freedom from abuse and negativity was necessary. No shame here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, I have soooooo many!

I met up with a dude 2 nights before my divorce was final. It was something to do. Anyhoo! I meet him in Cleveland Park at Ardeo. He smelled of cigarettes, didn't look like his pictures at all. He started to tell me about his pending divorce, that his ex is a bitch and only wanted money, he knows lives in a penthouse with all glass in Dupont and he hates the people of upper NW DC. He started yelling at me like I was his ex, checked his phone every 5 minutes, took 2 smoke breaks, told me he had been addicted to cocaine for 2 years. He also told me it was my fault for being in the situation I was in (I should've hired a big time lawyer to suck all the money from my ex), and why in the world would I send my kid to a public school that only has art and gym 1 time per week. Finally he left to go meet some guy friend and get high. Bartender looked at me and said "Worst Date Ever". No kidding! Gave me a good laugh and story.

Just met a dude last week, clearly he wasn't over the anger of his divorce and was whining it was his first x-mas alone. It's been 3 years and he didn't want to pay the money to fly home. But he's a nomad and works for hotels and moves around alot. Doesn't want kids but asked about mine. Under his breath he told me that for 6 months him and his ex didn't have sex and said that will never happen again for him. Total sales guy and just looking for random sex. No thanks. He wasn't comfortable in his own skin. Thankfully the bartender was cute and I made small talk with another woman so it wasn't so weird. She was a cool lady and I got her card. Then he told me he wasn't just there to pay for anothers drink and escorted me out. Then went back into the bar. Whatever. Paying for my drinks doesn't mean I owe you sex.

The next 2 were from a couple of years ago. Let's just say I've learned A LOT! Enjoy!

Four-Inch-Heel Guy – I had actually talked with this guy before and I liked his energy, so I figured paying for a babysitter was worth it to just get out of the house and relax somewhere. As I was leaving to meet him, I get his text “I hope you have four-inch heels on and look slutty.” I wrote back that, no, I have boots and a skirt on. Of course he then asked ”How high are the heels?” So I got on the Metro and I started fuming. Are you kidding me? I’m paying a babysitter to hang with a guy with crazy expectations? I just wanted to go out and chillax. I exited from the Dupont Circle Metro and went to a different bar to decide if I want to go meet the guy or not. I had told him that he needed to relax with the crazy comments for me to want to meet him. He kept texting things about role playing. Two guys at the bar noticed I looked worried. I showed them the texts and chit chatted with them. They ended up being really cool (friendly without expectations) and I started to have the kind of night I wanted to have. So, I was like, fuck it, I’m not showing up to meet the guy, he deserves to be stood up. After an hour or so, the guy next to me came up and covered my eyes playing a game, but I didn’t get it. Then four-inch-heel guy showed up, looked me in the face, and said “I’m here!” I looked at him pointing to myself and said “No ho bag here!” He tried to argue with me, and then the two guys rose to my defense and argued back. It escalated and the guy across from me ended up standing up to the guy (getting out of his seat) and the yelling continued. Finally four-inch-heel guy left. Thank goodness I never met him. I never told him where I was. I guess he searched every Dupont Circle bar to find me. Scary! And the guy was 47 with kids, but even at that age some men can’t behave like men.

Beat Me Guy – Maybe a couple of weeks later I did the same thing. I got a babysitter to meet a dude. He seemed like a nice, normal guy on the phone so I was a little excited to see him. Well, as I got to the Metro, I texted him and said “Shoot, I have a five minute wait for the Metro. You are going to beat me there”. Well, somehow that was code for him to text me back saying something about taking me back to his place, holding me down, and spanking me. I never got on the Metro, so I stood him up. Then he texted me back that I had a sense of humor failure. Problem is, I get that it might be a joke, however, I hadn’t even met him yet. So I went to my local bar and hung out by myself. Why men have to behave like douchebags, I don’t know. Expecting respect is a human right. He deserved to be stood up!

I like you, and I like how you handled these things! And for the record, 4 inch hell guys is by far the worst of those stories, what a psycho!

[Anonymous]

6:40, I suggest you start meeting guys for coffee instead of at a bar. It will attract a different kind of man.

[Anonymous]

The last guy I dated before I met my fiance was probably the worst date I ever had. The experience actually stopped me from dating for about 3-4 months and I was not interesting in dating my fiance when we met as a result. Here's what happened...

I met a Navy doctor through a part-time job that I used to have. He asked me out twice before I said yes. We agreed to spend a late Saturday morning through early afternoon together because he had hospital duty that night. He picked me up from the Metro station and things immediately got weird. He told me that he knew my cousin who is in the Navy and is stationed in the area. I thought that was weird because my cousin does not have the same last name. I thought that he was mistaken, but nope, he gave me a couple details and yeah, he knew my cousin. I should have immediately asked how he knew we were cousins, but I was so thrown. Over the next hour or so, he kept bringing up my cousin periodically. I excused myself to the bathroom and called my cousin. Turns out that my date was his doctor while my cousin was receiving treatment months prior. Dr. Strange saw me in a family photo my aunt sent with some get well cards. He met me a half a year later and put things together.
This is the only time in my life that I ever ditched a date in a restaurant. I actually did the classic "Can I slip out through the kitchen?" plea to an employee. Luckily, it was summer and I didn't have a coat or anything to worry about abandoning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ooo glad my stories helped! I have met some nice men, and gained some friends so its not all bad. I agree about text and honestly, after not dating since 1998 I didn't have a clue what I was doing. It's a new world out there for sure. Expectations are raised based on pictures and email. Nothing is better than face to face.

What I have learned is that I really do love my freedom. And while divorce wasn't on my to-do list, freedom from abuse and negativity was necessary. No shame here.

You go girl!

[Anonymous]

Mine was at a Chinese buffet restaurant. Guy was hot but his jokes didn't make sense . He also suggested we have an eating contest for $20. I was in undergrad but still! Finally I excused myself to "study " even though it was summer and he knew I didn't have summer classes. I then met my friends at Starbucks in the same shopping plaza. We laughed about it all night! Fun times! This guy gave me his number while I was out with another guy ( guy friend) the night before. He did this while the my guy friend was in the bathroom! I decided to give him my number fast since he was hot and I just got out of a long relationship. This guy still works at whole foods and I run into him all the time with my husband and baby!

[Anonymous]

My first date. Guy and his friend pick me up because he is lending his friend his car. We stop by the atm. He apparently started a new acct that day and deposited all of his money. He puts an envelope in the machine in an attempt to get his money ( I am not making this up). I'm sitting in this car and he is writing on an envelope and trying to shove it in like someone is on the other side 7pm at night. His friend has a few bucks. We get to the theater to pay and he tells them I'm his kid sister, and he's taking me out. He wanted the child discount. I was an over developed teen wearing a g cup...
I go sit on the steps and he attempts to page his friend to come get us because they aren't letting us in. His friend never calls. Theater feels bad for us and let's us in. Friend picks us up after the movie they drop me off and he tries to kiss me goodnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last guy I dated before I met my fiance was probably the worst date I ever had. The experience actually stopped me from dating for about 3-4 months and I was not interesting in dating my fiance when we met as a result. Here's what happened...

I met a Navy doctor through a part-time job that I used to have. He asked me out twice before I said yes. We agreed to spend a late Saturday morning through early afternoon together because he had hospital duty that night. He picked me up from the Metro station and things immediately got weird. He told me that he knew my cousin who is in the Navy and is stationed in the area. I thought that was weird because my cousin does not have the same last name. I thought that he was mistaken, but nope, he gave me a couple details and yeah, he knew my cousin. I should have immediately asked how he knew we were cousins, but I was so thrown. Over the next hour or so, he kept bringing up my cousin periodically. I excused myself to the bathroom and called my cousin. Turns out that my date was his doctor while my cousin was receiving treatment months prior. Dr. Strange saw me in a family photo my aunt sent with some get well cards. He met me a half a year later and put things together.
This is the only time in my life that I ever ditched a date in a restaurant. I actually did the classic "Can I slip out through the kitchen?" plea to an employee. Luckily, it was summer and I didn't have a coat or anything to worry about abandoning.

Maybe I'm dense, but what did he do that was so terrible that you escaped out the back door and didn't date for months? Not being snarky, just wondering if I'm being thick. I thought you were going to say he had cyber stalked you until he found you or something like that, but he simply had admired your photo enough that when he happened to meet you by chance months later he recognized you and asked you out. He also didn't hide that he knew your cousin. I guess he could have disclosed this upon meeting you, and yes, it's a little weird. But not sure how it warranted not wanting to date anyone else for months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, I have soooooo many!

I met up with a dude 2 nights before my divorce was final. It was something to do. Anyhoo! I meet him in Cleveland Park at Ardeo. He smelled of cigarettes, didn't look like his pictures at all. He started to tell me about his pending divorce, that his ex is a bitch and only wanted money, he knows lives in a penthouse with all glass in Dupont and he hates the people of upper NW DC. He started yelling at me like I was his ex, checked his phone every 5 minutes, took 2 smoke breaks, told me he had been addicted to cocaine for 2 years. He also told me it was my fault for being in the situation I was in (I should've hired a big time lawyer to suck all the money from my ex), and why in the world would I send my kid to a public school that only has art and gym 1 time per week. Finally he left to go meet some guy friend and get high. Bartender looked at me and said "Worst Date Ever". No kidding! Gave me a good laugh and story.

Just met a dude last week, clearly he wasn't over the anger of his divorce and was whining it was his first x-mas alone. It's been 3 years and he didn't want to pay the money to fly home. But he's a nomad and works for hotels and moves around alot. Doesn't want kids but asked about mine. Under his breath he told me that for 6 months him and his ex didn't have sex and said that will never happen again for him. Total sales guy and just looking for random sex. No thanks. He wasn't comfortable in his own skin. Thankfully the bartender was cute and I made small talk with another woman so it wasn't so weird. She was a cool lady and I got her card. Then he told me he wasn't just there to pay for anothers drink and escorted me out. Then went back into the bar. Whatever. Paying for my drinks doesn't mean I owe you sex.

The next 2 were from a couple of years ago. Let's just say I've learned A LOT! Enjoy!

Four-Inch-Heel Guy – I had actually talked with this guy before and I liked his energy, so I figured paying for a babysitter was worth it to just get out of the house and relax somewhere. As I was leaving to meet him, I get his text “I hope you have four-inch heels on and look slutty.” I wrote back that, no, I have boots and a skirt on. Of course he then asked ”How high are the heels?” So I got on the Metro and I started fuming. Are you kidding me? I’m paying a babysitter to hang with a guy with crazy expectations? I just wanted to go out and chillax. I exited from the Dupont Circle Metro and went to a different bar to decide if I want to go meet the guy or not. I had told him that he needed to relax with the crazy comments for me to want to meet him. He kept texting things about role playing. Two guys at the bar noticed I looked worried. I showed them the texts and chit chatted with them. They ended up being really cool (friendly without expectations) and I started to have the kind of night I wanted to have. So, I was like, fuck it, I’m not showing up to meet the guy, he deserves to be stood up. After an hour or so, the guy next to me came up and covered my eyes playing a game, but I didn’t get it. Then four-inch-heel guy showed up, looked me in the face, and said “I’m here!” I looked at him pointing to myself and said “No ho bag here!” He tried to argue with me, and then the two guys rose to my defense and argued back. It escalated and the guy across from me ended up standing up to the guy (getting out of his seat) and the yelling continued. Finally four-inch-heel guy left. Thank goodness I never met him. I never told him where I was. I guess he searched every Dupont Circle bar to find me. Scary! And the guy was 47 with kids, but even at that age some men can’t behave like men.

Beat Me Guy – Maybe a couple of weeks later I did the same thing. I got a babysitter to meet a dude. He seemed like a nice, normal guy on the phone so I was a little excited to see him. Well, as I got to the Metro, I texted him and said “Shoot, I have a five minute wait for the Metro. You are going to beat me there”. Well, somehow that was code for him to text me back saying something about taking me back to his place, holding me down, and spanking me. I never got on the Metro, so I stood him up. Then he texted me back that I had a sense of humor failure. Problem is, I get that it might be a joke, however, I hadn’t even met him yet. So I went to my local bar and hung out by myself. Why men have to behave like douchebags, I don’t know. Expecting respect is a human right. He deserved to be stood up!

Cool stories. It had to be said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6:40, I suggest you start meeting guys for coffee instead of at a bar. It will attract a different kind of man.

Yes. A beta man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6:40, I suggest you start meeting guys for coffee instead of at a bar. It will attract a different kind of man.

Only thing is, I usually meet dudes in the evening. And I don't want to go for coffee a 7pm at night.

Now winter time, I agree. Once I get some weekends free, maybe I'll try to meet a dude for coffee, at 3pm.