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If you are kind of shy, socially awkward, and attempts at flirting make you seem creepy.
Average looks. |
| Online dating |
I've tried this. With no luck. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. |
| NP here who is in the same boat as OP and has considered online dating, but I have heard here on DCUM, and through anecdotes from current online dating coworkers, things that just make me scared. One has to have a very thick skin, and I don't, which is why I've never done it. |
| When I did I had 2 guys interested in me , but none went past the phone call stage. |
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I think online is the way to go for you. Be honest about what you enjoy in life in your description. Let your inner nerd shine. You want someone to choose you because they have at least some similar interests. Do not put yourself down in your profile. Lead with your strong suits. If you are shy, you can put that in your profile. "You might find me shy at first, but I warm up quickly when I get to know you." Trust me, you don't have to be a stunner in your photos. Just smile and look happy. Choose pictures where you are doing something outdoors or out on an interesting outing.
Be selective about who you reply to. Exchange just a few notes on the website (don't give your number or email until you meet in person). After a few exchanges, if you have any interest in the guy you should suggest getting together for coffee. If he declines or wants to spend more time getting to know you before meeting -- move on. Most of the guys that text or chat too much before hand are not really interested in meeting in person. Do not waste your time on them. Meet for coffee. Assume that you will meet for 20 minutes, but you can stay longer if there is any spark or at least some interesting conversation. |
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The PP has great advice.
Also, be prepared to go on a LOT of dates. Most will be one coffee and no follow up. You really to just treat it a bit like job hunting: remain diligent, put your best face forward, and make a good first impression. Still, don't settle for a guy who doesn't treat you well just to have a "boyfriend." Better off single and happy than partnered and miserable |
| I never flirted until I was already dating a boy. I suggest you volunteer regularly, and join a co-ed sport. If you're religious, go to young adult services. Basically, get involved in stuff that has built-in structure so you're not standing around a bar awkwardly, clutching your warm beer for dear life while you try to make small talk with someone you have nothing in common with. |
I'm a PP, and this is what makes me not do online dating (yet)- I'm fine single. I don't have time to waste on a LOT of dates. |
| Online dating or go out dancing. |
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The good impression and conversation bit is a struggle to me.
I'm horrible at small talk. I don't tend to get conversational jokes an I don't do quick wit well. |
| I should say I don't mind being single, but I think I'd like to try not being single. |
I'm also bad at dancing in public. On my own I'm fabulous. |
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The first step is to be hot.
Wear flattering clothes, makeup, do your hair and whiten your teeth. Next be loud and flirty and flirty. Look a guy in the eye and talk with him. Guys love girls who love them and make them feel good about themselves. |
This just isn't me at all. I do what I can to be presentable, but I'm average at best and I'm okay with that. I'm not comfortable in a lot of make up and extras. I've tried and that only stressed me more. I'm not the loud and flirty type at all. I'm frequent;y mistaken for a mouse. |