Helping Elderly Parent Up Stairs When Visiting

[Anonymous]

My 91-year old father's New Year's resolution is to visit me in DC; we regularly visit him, but he wants to see our new house. The new house doesn't have a bedroom on the first floor (there's no thought that he would ever live with us), and even if I put him on a bed in the living room there's no full bath on the first floor either. Is there any way that anybody can think of that I can move him downstairs in the morning and upstairs at night? He really wants to stay with us, not a hotel, but he's almost 200 lbs, very arthritic, and uses a walker. Would a male home health aide be able to do this? Thoughts? Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Safest way is on his bottom.
Meaning he sits on his bottom and inches his way up, backwards, step by step using his arms.
Did I describe that ok?
Going down, same thing. He sits on his bottom and scoots himself down, step by step.
Do NOT let a 91 year old man try to walk up and down the stairs if he's not used to it.
Have fun!
Also do you have a shower bench so he can sit versus Stand?
Get on, you can even order one on Amazon

[Anonymous]

You cannot let him visit. Take pictures.

[Anonymous]

There is no bedroom or bathroom on the main level - yikes.

I think I would videotape a thorough "virtual tour" for him and bring DC to him. He needs to see for himself what the layout situation is and how steep those steps are.....

[Anonymous]

Can he work with a PT who can at least let you/him know the best way to get up and down steps or if it's even possible?

We have no idea of the general health/mobility of your father so it's hard to say.
I'm the first one who responded and that is the very safest way

[Anonymous]

I would settle him on the main level AND have a reservation for a hotel.

If he chooses to stay with you, minimize the trip to the main bath once daily.

He'll let you know if it is too much but I would not deny him the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Have him stay in a hotel.

This sounds like a recipe for a disaster if he tired to go up and down your stairs.

[Anonymous]

If you can make a bed for him on the main floor and you have a half bath that might be fine for a few days. He probably doesn't shower daily at home so he could go 2-3 days without a shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can he work with a PT who can at least let you/him know the best way to get up and down steps or if it's even possible?

We have no idea of the general health/mobility of your father so it's hard to say.
I'm the first one who responded and that is the very safest way

Is it realistic for him to plan his bathroom trips like that? How long would it take him to get up the stairs to a bathroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he work with a PT who can at least let you/him know the best way to get up and down steps or if it's even possible?

We have no idea of the general health/mobility of your father so it's hard to say.
I'm the first one who responded and that is the very safest way

Is it realistic for him to plan his bathroom trips like that? How long would it take him to get up the stairs to a bathroom?

I was assuming there was a half bath on the first floor and it would be one trip down in the morning and one trip up at night.

I work in healthcare and this is not an unusual request around the holidays. It could be very dangerous if not done correctly but we have no idea what this particular man's mobility is like. There are some 91 year olds who get around very well with walkers and live on their own. There are some 91 year olds who shouldn't be going anywhere by themselves, need an assistive living and are very high falls risk. Its a difficult this to discern on a written description of course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can make a bed for him on the main floor and you have a half bath that might be fine for a few days. He probably doesn't shower daily at home so he could go 2-3 days without a shower.

This is probably the best idea. You could present it as a compromise.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Keep those ideas coming! Re his mobility - for a 91 year old guy with arthritis, he's very mobile with a great attitude. He lives in NYC and makes good use of the city buses with his walker by himself. It takes a long time, but he does his grocery shopping, gets haircuts, and goes to Central Park when the weather is nice. He has somebody come in from 2-7 daily to cook dinner, help with dishes, and straighten up. I do have a half bath on the first floor, so he can brush his teeth there and use the bathroom. I could rent a hospital bed and put it in the family room, although I worry that he won't rest very well with my three kids bouncing in there in the morning (there's no door; same deal for the living room, which opens off the foyer). He sounded pretty glum when I suggested the Embassy Suites in Friendship Heights, which is 5 minutes from my house - I thought I would pick him up when he woke up, bring him home for breakfast and the rest of the day, and then return him there at bedtime. He really wants the whole "visit with the grandkids" experience. This is really tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Keep those ideas coming! Re his mobility - for a 91 year old guy with arthritis, he's very mobile with a great attitude. He lives in NYC and makes good use of the city buses with his walker by himself. It takes a long time, but he does his grocery shopping, gets haircuts, and goes to Central Park when the weather is nice. He has somebody come in from 2-7 daily to cook dinner, help with dishes, and straighten up. I do have a half bath on the first floor, so he can brush his teeth there and use the bathroom. I could rent a hospital bed and put it in the family room, although I worry that he won't rest very well with my three kids bouncing in there in the morning (there's no door; same deal for the living room, which opens off the foyer). He sounded pretty glum when I suggested the Embassy Suites in Friendship Heights, which is 5 minutes from my house - I thought I would pick him up when he woke up, bring him home for breakfast and the rest of the day, and then return him there at bedtime. He really wants the whole "visit with the grandkids" experience. This is really tough.

Get the hospital bed and do what he wants. Tell him that you will help him wash off in the downstairs bathroom (you know what I mean, provide all the things he needs) and he won't need to actually shower.
The man is 91 years old and wants to stay with you, make it happen.
He doesn't need to go upstairs.

ps he sounds absolutely adorable, hope you have a wonderful time

[Anonymous]

^^ if you have the funds, you could get one of those privacy wall things that look like an accordion and stand up on their own (someone help me try to say what I'm saying lol) and that would give him a little privacy

[Anonymous]

My 95 year olds live with us. Read "Being Mortal: What matters in the end." Explain the situation and let him decide. It is more important he sees your new home and risks his health or even death to "live his life."