Helping Elderly Parent Up Stairs When Visiting

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't get a hospital bed unless thats what he uses at home. I'd just get a bet that any guest could use.

[Anonymous]

One more thought. Check the hand rails on your stairs. It might be helpful if you could install a hand rail on both sides of the stairs. If he can do stairs and might want to go up the stairs once a day having good hand holds will make it safer.

[Anonymous]

Honor his request and find a way to work through it. You want to comfortable thinking you did something that really meant the world to him. If he wanted a hotel he would have said so. Please make his request possible, it might be his last. Okay?? He is all you've got. Asking for our opinions makes me think you are a wonderful child. Merry Christmas to you and the family. I am an African woman from West Africa, bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Honor his request and find a way to work through it. You want to feel comfortable thinking you did something that really meant the world to him. If he wanted a hotel he would have said so. Please make his request possible, it might be his last. Okay?? He is all you've got. Asking for our opinions makes me think you are a wonderful child. Merry Christmas to you and the family. I am an African woman from West Africa, bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

If there is a half-bath, then there is no real reason for him to go upstairs. Even though he may not rest as well in terms of quiet on the main floor of the house, he will be happy to be with you it sounds like. Ask him how often he showers at home, and discuss the possibility of hiring a health aide to come in for one day and do a sponge bath out of the downstairs bathroom if needed. On the day that they are there, you can ask them to evaluate for themselves what his mobility level seems to be and whether they think it would be reasonable for him to attempt the stairs. You could also contact the person who helps care for him at his home and ask them what their opinion is on the stair issue. They likely have a good idea of exactly what his mobility level is and might even be able to give you some tips like the best time of day for him to attempt something more strenuous.

Worst case scenario, he comes, stays on the main floor of the house for a few days with just "birdbaths" in the sink downstairs, and at least gets to see the main floor of the house and be in the house with his grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely I would have him over. It sounds as though he is getting around pretty darned good. You've got a half bath on the main level. You could put a bed in the family room, maybe hang curtains on a tension rod for privacy and remind your kids to be quiet in the morning. You're set. Have fun!

[Anonymous]

You could have a stair lift installed. Or you could get a manual wheelchair and slowly bounce him up/down the steps. You could do this pretty easily with two people helping, one above and one below. You slowly roll/bounce up one step at a time.

[Anonymous]

Make him happy, the first floor sleeping arrangements , even with the kids sounds wonderful, alot of 91yr olds can get around, look into an aide as a back up in case. He already knows what he is in for and sounds up for the adventure! My mom is 87 and is on pins and needles about everything, its refreshing to hear about your dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could have a stair lift installed. Or you could get a manual wheelchair and slowly bounce him up/down the steps. You could do this pretty easily with two people helping, one above and one below. You slowly roll/bounce up one step at a time.

This sounds like a REALLY, incredibly bad, idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can make a bed for him on the main floor and you have a half bath that might be fine for a few days. He probably doesn't shower daily at home so he could go 2-3 days without a shower.

This is what we do when my elderly MIL visits who can't do stairs. She just uses the half bath for the 3 days she is here. It's probably the same as what she does at her own home. Don't even try to help your dad up any stairs in his condition. It is a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

He'll be awake bright and early, and probably enjoy watching the kids run around, if he's anything like my elderly parents. The tougher time is at night, when you need to shut things down pretty early so he can sleep.

[Anonymous]

Two more tips for elderly parent house guests:

1. At night, have some night lights lighting the way to the bathroom in case he needs get up at night.

2. Be aware that he might like a midday nap - perhaps the family room?

My parents are in their nineties and sound a lot like your dad - generally well but still need some support especially when out of their own environment. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If your staircase is wide enough, you can have another adult help guide him upstairs (we did this with my father who was completely immobile - but our staircase is wide enough to make it work). If he is still mobile, then really he just needs someone to lift him a little and keep him steady as he goes up and down. And, this could be a one time effort if he sleeps at home and skips a bath.

[Anonymous]

Do it, OP. Have him stay in your house, on the ground floor. If there is no bathroom at all get a commode, and if there is a half bath then he'll be all set. No one NEEDS to bathe every day. Sponge bath/wash cloth in the sink should be fine for a few days. For this weekend you kiddos need to adjust a bit - when we have had elderly relatives staying in the family room I make a big deal out of breaking the usual family rules, and give them the iPad in their bedroom for when they wake up. They watch videos in bed until its a somewhat respectable hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Keep those ideas coming! Re his mobility - for a 91 year old guy with arthritis, he's very mobile with a great attitude. He lives in NYC and makes good use of the city buses with his walker by himself. It takes a long time, but he does his grocery shopping, gets haircuts, and goes to Central Park when the weather is nice. He has somebody come in from 2-7 daily to cook dinner, help with dishes, and straighten up. I do have a half bath on the first floor, so he can brush his teeth there and use the bathroom. I could rent a hospital bed and put it in the family room, although I worry that he won't rest very well with my three kids bouncing in there in the morning (there's no door; same deal for the living room, which opens off the foyer). He sounded pretty glum when I suggested the Embassy Suites in Friendship Heights, which is 5 minutes from my house - I thought I would pick him up when he woke up, bring him home for breakfast and the rest of the day, and then return him there at bedtime. He really wants the whole "visit with the grandkids" experience. This is really tough.

Get the hospital bed and do what he wants. Tell him that you will help him wash off in the downstairs bathroom (you know what I mean, provide all the things he needs) and he won't need to actually shower.
The man is 91 years old and wants to stay with you, make it happen.
He doesn't need to go upstairs.

ps he sounds absolutely adorable, hope you have a wonderful time

You know what? If he's really determined to visit and stay with you, I think the hospital bed rental and half bath down there will do fine.