Step-Grandmother Misspells My Kids' Names

[Anonymous]

By way of background, my stepmother of 25+ years and I have to work really hard at getting along, but I thought we were in a good place. Recently, however, she seems to be trying to "poke" at me. For example, she made a few jabs recently about all of the members of "her family" in a way that made it clear that my family (husband and kids) were not included.

We just got a box of Christmas presents. On both it and the card, the names of two of my three children are misspelled. I'm talking pretty basic names that she seems to have made a sudden effort to misspell. Think turning "Johnathan" into "Jonathyne."

Am I reading too much into it by being annoyed?

[Anonymous]

It's annoying but ignore it. It's that classic "I'll give you something, or do you a favor, but I'll do it flawed, just to remind you that it's a favor." It's the begrudging gift.

[Anonymous]

Your spelling of your kid's name is not basic. She probably remembered you tarted it up in some way but couldn't remember how exactly so just guessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your spelling of your kid's name is not basic. She probably remembered you tarted it up in some way but couldn't remember how exactly so just guessed.

No, I didn't. That was an example, although maybe not the best - my two names are the 100% traditional spellings of traditional names. I guess think more like turning Emily into Emylee.

[Anonymous]

She sounds sad. Your best revenge is to not care and shrug it off.

[Anonymous]

If she's been in the picture that long, she may be getting up in years. A couple of things might happen: Memory failure affects spelling ability, and aging social filters get looser.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure it isn't bad handwriting?

I would handle it though. My older child missed out on an inheritance due to a misspelled name that accidentally designated another child twice. Everyone knew that the relative didn't mean to exclude my DD and give a second bequest to a cousin, but the greedy mom stood her ground.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You are complaining because she sent gifts? Why is she even in charge of sending gifts and not your dad who is the biological grandfather?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You are complaining because she sent gifts? Why is she even in charge of sending gifts and not your dad who is the biological grandfather?

Obviously not complaining about the gifts - it feels more like "here is a nice thing" but then "remember you're not really my family and I don't have to make the effort to even spell names correctly, because I care that little about you all." Like I said, maybe reading too much into it, but obviously this isn't about the gifts themselves. And dad isn't well enough to do the shopping and sending.

[Anonymous]

I'm 38 and one of my mom's sisters has mis-pronounced my name my entire life. She is bizarre and weird and quirky and all those things. My mom says she corrected her for a few years and just gave up. I don't know how she doesn't hear that everyone else pronounces it
Elizabeth (with the "I" pronounced like "it")
And she insists on saying
Eleeeeezabeth

Maybe this doesn't help your situation but she may just be tone deaf or clueless or really bad with names

[Anonymous]

Some people who are perfectly fine otherwise are just horrible with spelling.

[Anonymous]

If she's sending a box of gifts, I wouldn't read too much into it.

One of the first things to go with some of my older relatives with name spelling when it came to getting older and the memory slipping. They may see an article where the name is spelled differently and that sticks or something like that.

[Anonymous]

The spelling of my name changed weekly once my grandmother got older and she obviously knew who I was and loved me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's been in the picture that long, she may be getting up in years. A couple of things might happen: Memory failure affects spelling ability, and aging social filters get looser.

This is happening to my MIL. Be gracious, at least she tried even if it isn't something you or the kids like. My FIL could not remember my name for about 10 years. I have a very simple generic name and he kept calling me the wrong one. After a while I gave up and eventually he got it right. She also could know someone with a similar name and they spell it differently. We have a few situations with the same name and slightly different spellings. Its hard to keep track of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's been in the picture that long, she may be getting up in years. A couple of things might happen: Memory failure affects spelling ability, and aging social filters get looser.

+1