Sad Birthday
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I had a big milestone birthday. DH and kids went out for quick dinner at last minute. Week later still no cards. No gift. Not even a cheap crappy gift. Very sad. |
Anonymous
|
Welcome to adulthood? Sorry. |
Anonymous
| Celebrate all the days you are alive and have a family. One day in your life is not important in the grand scheme of things. |
Anonymous
|
Buy yourself flowers and a gift and write a not to DH telling him how you feel, think twice, tear it up and then redraft it. Either send it or talk to him. Your choice.
But definitely get yourself the flowers and the gift. Tonight. It's better than going into Christmas with all the work involved and bitterness in your heart. |
Anonymous
| Can you talk to them? Explain how you felt and what you would have liked to happen? |
Anonymous
Was that necessary? What do you get out of posting something like this? Maybe you should try "adulthood". Op I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm sure your family values you, but unfortunately they don't always show it. I recently had my 10 year wedding anniversary and my dh didn't really acknowledge it. He doesn't give me bday presents either. Sometimes I feel sad about it, but right now I'm just feeling thankful that I have my husband and my child. Milestone birthdays can really suck when they are ignored by your family. Maybe you can find a way to treat yourself, or you can mention to your family that you want to go out together as a family to celebrate. Don't be upset when you mention it since it should be a happy occasion for you. Happy birthday! |
Anonymous
|
I'm sorry, OP.
Just wondering if it's a pattern or was this a one-time thing? Does your husband usually get you gifts? Are your kids old enough to know they should? Do you take them out shopping for your husband on his birthday? My husband is very caring and kind, but not a big gift giver. If I want something for my birthday, dinner or a present or whatever, I clearly spell it out for him. Otherwise, nada. |
Anonymous
|
I'm sorry , OP.
Happy birthday! |
Anonymous
| Its my birthday today, and I have kids, so I really don't care about my own birthday anymore, its not really relevant or important. Its important when you're a child and a teen and maybe milestones like 21 and 30 and then, not really. |
Anonymous
That's you. Not everyone feels that way. I believe in celebrating every birthday even into adulthood, OP does too and that's ok. It's pretty crappy to have your own family especially your husband not acknowledge you. |
Anonymous
|
I turned 50 this week. If you celebrate Christmas, it's a really hard time to have a birthday. We didn't even celebrate it together bc the kids had two holiday programs at two different schools so we went separate ways.
I had repeatedly told my DH to wait until the same day in January. Now he's now grumbly because he heeded my request, but 1) my girlfriends stepped in and took me out for breakfast, and 2) his friends are asking what he did for me, so he feels like a lame DH. But I thanked him for actually listening to what I wanted. However; the issue I'm seeing with you, OP, is that it appears to you that your DH didn't try to do anything for you, or ask you if you wanted a deferral. And depending on the kids' ages, that they did nothing also (even tween/teens might need to be reminded to do something; your DH didn't remind them. Is that what's bothering you? If so, well, you know you have to figure out how to change this situation. I don't have enough info to give advice more specific than that, but it's safe to say that you don't want to find yourself in this spot during your NEXT big birthday, so get to work fixing what you have, or changing what you have. I have ONE caveat to this, OP. If your DH *forgot* it was your birthday, then I actually think the issue is not that big of a deal. IMO most men don't think about "important dates" and it is NOT a reflection of their devotion to you. However, if your DH remembered (or if you wisely had reminded him a week or so before) and this is what the result was, then yes, you have a good reason to be blue. ((hugs)) to you OP. |
Anonymous
| What do you mean DH and kids went out for a quick dinner-with or without you? Did they know it was your birthday? What did they do last year on your birthday? You have to train your kids how to shop for gifts or make you something if they are too young. Your DH should know better. Buy yourself something. When you get over it, tell your DH it hurt your feelings. Is he otherwise an okay spouse or was this a passive aggressive move? I need more info. In situations like these, you need to give yourself a hug and be your own best friend, and then go eat some ice cream out of container when everyone else is asleep. |
Anonymous
This is good advice |
Anonymous
| OP: It was 50th birthday and everyone knew. Kids are between 14 and 17 and all know how to buy a card and a gift. Its not like they didn't get me cards and a crappy gift. Apparently they have them but still have not given them to me 6 days later. They just have not found the time, though they have plenty of time to shop and play videos on their damn computers and phones. Honestly, I don't really care much for birthdays, and did not expect much. But, for a 50th birthday, a card and even a token gift on or near my birthday would have been nice. |
Anonymous
| Did you remind him? I'm horrible at remembering birthdays so I always remind people that mine is coming up. I do this with close friends and family. |