New to ADHD - share your lessons learned
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Anonymous
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DD - 8th grade was diagnosed with ADHD - Inattentive + executive function challenges through her second neuropsych evaluation.
Recommendations were =study skills teacher who she saw for the first time yesterday =accommodations - which we are waiting for the special ed teacher from her middle school to get back to us with a meeting date to add the suggestions to her 504 plan. She had the report for a week now, but she has been utterly useless in our previous 504 meetings and I don't expect to have a meeting date until the first week back in January the earliest! In previous years, at each meeting, she asks us what accommodations we want but doesn't offer any guidance. She has been such a disappointment for a source of help. 
=since the ADHD was mild, medication was not strongly recommended, but it was something to look into. DH (ADHD -hyper as a child) and I want to look into medication as DD spends SO much time on school work. (4-5 hours to sometimes nearly all day on the weekends) I hope medication will help with support the new skills from the study skills teacher. The neuropsych recommended going to a psychiatrist for medication and monitoring but in talking with a few friends who have BTDT, they have DC see the pediatrician. As we begin down the ADHD road, I'm looking for some life experiences from people willing to share their lessons learned. What did you do that was helpful or not so helpful when working with your DC's ADHD? What would you do differently? |
Anonymous
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Here's a list of typical accommodations for a ADHD high school student which may be helpful as you brainstorm what might work for your daughter. At her age she should be fully involved in this process and help you decide what to ask for.
http://www.chadd.org/Portals/0/AM/Images/Understading/504accommodations.pdf |
Anonymous
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1) medication - helped tremendously. Previously my child was unable to do homework and we had accommodations for that, but with the medication was able to get all of the homework done. Plus, my child enjoyed going to school more and there was less anxiety
2) advocate - got an advocate to help us get an IEP to help address other related issues - dysgraphia. Found the 504 plan was not enough and often not enforced. |
Anonymous
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We use a psychiatrist for medication management. I've heard a lot of bad stories (mostly on this forum) about pediatricians not being sufficiently attentive to the various side effects, how things like puberty can affect medication, etc. I think it probably depends on the pediatrician, and how well versed they are in the various ADHD meds.
We only see the psychiatrist 4 times a year, but he's great, and insurance covers about half of it (would cover more, but he's out of network for us). |
Anonymous
Do not go to your pediatrician. They tend to go with a one size fits all approach. Would you go to you ENT for to treat your diabetes? They have specialties for a reason. My son is on drugs so I am not anti-medication but please understand you will be messing with your child's brain chemistry. Do you want someone with specialized training in the area or someone in general pediatrics. |
Anonymous
| This was not on your list of questions but the best advice I was ever given was not to make my child's life all about adhd and to not only remember myself, but also make sure my child understands that ADHD is an explanation not an excuse for not trying or for bad behavior. Everyone has a challenge of some sort, ADHD is my child's. It does mean that she will have to work harder and learn different ways of organization but it not impossible to be successful with ADHD. It also means I have to work harder (well not so much anymore) to help her figure out ways to manage her ADHD. When my daughter's psych. heard this was our approach she applauded us and said that explains her success (#1 in her class). They psych. says she sees a lot of kids who have been given a pass by their parents and even teachers who wash out or get into trouble because they were never held accountable and were given an automatic excuse for failure.. Good luck. tI can be daunting, but it is not an insurmountable obstacle. Do your research, trust your gut, watch out for anxiety (it goes hand in hand with adhd), stay on top of social issues, help her gain confidence in herself and a positive self-image. She will take her cues from you. |
Anonymous
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Medications are very helpful, especially in middle school (we give DC the choice of taking it or not, and he takes it because he says he could not survive middle school without it) but have many drawbacks. It kills the appetite, (we combat this with loading up on breakfast and dinner and making sure lunch is easy to eat-turkey jerky and protein bars are often lunch) It often makes sleep difficult and sometimes there is a crash when their dopamine levels drop suddenly when the meds wear off, and causes extreme emotions, like rage and frustration and sorrow. We had this with a medication our kid still takes, and we tweaked it by making sure he has protein when coming off the meds and having him take a little Ritalin right around the time the other med is leaving his system so his "landing" is a bit easier, and giving him tenex/guanfasine at night, which is a blood pressure medication whose off label use isfor add. Meds can cause tics to surface, and sometimes they don't go away after you switch meds (for our kid it was vyvanse and a jaw/ear popping tic)
Additionally, depending on what time he does his homework, you may need a non-stimulant med to help are the regular stim adhd med has worn off. Get him doing a sport or something active to raise his dopamine and get him focused above and beyond the use of meds. Get him organized and make him easy to stay that way. We have a "homework folder" that is attached to his planner (where all the HW gets written in) and that helps immensely-sometimes, if there is a lot to do or hand in in multiple subjects, we will put each subject in a Manila folder and write on the outside what needs to be done or discussed with the teacher that day with boxes to check or Initial when it's done. The most helpful 504 accommodations we have are extra time for tests and quizzes, Non-distracting props for tests (earplugs, Carroll) help with bubbling (which he uses on longer tests) spaces between questions on tests, notes provided (guided notes, outline, or emailed) an extra day for homework without penalizing, Prompting from teachers to turn in assignments Every kid and every school will need different accommodations, and they will change from year to year, school to school and sometimes class to class. And while meds aren't a magic pill, my kid would hate school and not be learning much nor like school much without them. |
Anonymous
| Kids who don't take meds are more likely to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Also, they tend to suffer social isolation and low self-esteem Stay open to meds and go to a good psychiatrist who has experience in medication combos and dosage levels beyond what a pediatrician will manage. |
Anonymous
| Vyvanse. That is the lesson learned. Miracle drug. |
Anonymous
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OP- my DS is younger (nine). Your have received a lot of practical advice, so I won't add anymore.
I have learned the value of empathy and patience and love. The most powerful tool at your disposal is a good relationship with your DD. I'm probably feeling sentimental, but tonight I was extra patient and understanding with my DS-- as a result, he showed more resilience to go back and continue with some homework the he had wanted to give up on. |
Anonymous
I totally agree with this! My DD is 13. |
Anonymous
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This was a very helpful book:
100 Questions & Answers About Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) In Women And Girls by Dr. Patricia Quinn |
Anonymous
This is what our neuropsych thought would be a good fit for DD (but alas she can not prescribe as she is not an MD) Please tell me more about your experience.... |
Anonymous
Thank you - This is helpful! |
Anonymous
| Don't settle for 504, get the iep |