So that Christmas that was ruined by dying parent....

[Anonymous]

I don't even know what to do. My father was just given 2-4 wks after failing chemo. My mom died years ago so it has just been us and he is the only grandparent on my side my kids have known. I have spent weeks flying back and forth to take care of him but between my kids (3 teens), my job and my dad I am exhausted, depressed and scared.

Guess I am venting more than anything. My DH has been great but I do bite his head off a lot. I am stuck in that place between wanting him to go quickly just to get this over and the utter terror of that part of my life ending.

[Anonymous]

So sorry op

[Anonymous]

Can you have your dad come live with you, since he's got about a month left? Generally when doctors get to the point they say they can't do any more, they say "Go spend time with your family."

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. That sucks. I've been there and I know.

[Anonymous]

So sorry. This was our family this time two years ago with my mother. It is so difficult and sad. Just do what you can to be there for your dad. He will appreciate it and know that you love him. Wishing you strength and peace.

[Anonymous]

It's going to be a hard season for you. I can't even imagine. I hope your family finds comfort and peace somehow. You have a lot on your shoulders and it's okay that you are t your best right now.

[Anonymous]

Hugs, op.

[Anonymous]

^^aren't at your best

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. My mom died this year and I'm having a hard time with Christmas.

Maybe since your kids are older you could float the idea of postponing Christmas celebrations for a few weeks or months?

[Anonymous]

Thanks guys. There is comfort in knowing others have BTDT. I would love to move him in with me but he lives in the house my parents bought as newlyweds and where she died. He isn't going to come live with me plus he thinks he will be a burden. I have been switching off care with his two sisters and he has hospice but it is still just an emotional roller coaster.

Thanks for your kind words.

[Anonymous]

My mom died the day before thanksgiving this year so my heart goes out to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. Would it be possible to take a short leave of absence from your job? Your teens and husband could probably manage without you, and at least that way, you could focus on just one thing. Your husband and kids could maybe come to you and your father for Christmas. 2-4 weeks isn't very long in the grand scheme of things, although I'm sure time feels both more and less than that.

[Anonymous]

No words. Hugs. lots of hugs to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even know what to do. My father was just given 2-4 wks after failing chemo. My mom died years ago so it has just been us and he is the only grandparent on my side my kids have known. I have spent weeks flying back and forth to take care of him but between my kids (3 teens), my job and my dad I am exhausted, depressed and scared.

Guess I am venting more than anything. My DH has been great but I do bite his head off a lot. I am stuck in that place between wanting him to go quickly just to get this over and the utter terror of that part of my life ending.

I'm sorry to hear this OP. All I can say, is remember to take care of your mental health and do things for yourself. Take breaks. Do not feel guilty about it.

[Anonymous]

Hugs. We are in the same boat and it sucks. We are simplifying simplifying simplifying. Have DH pick up some of the slack and let go of the rest for this year.