Special ed kid not having friends

[Anonymous]

MY DS has ADD and he his very shy. He doesn't have any friends because he never talks to anyone. The reason he doesn't take meds is because it made him depressed. He is a junoopr in high school so his too old for playdates what else can I do to help him?

[Anonymous]

If meds make him feel depressed, then it sounds like they need to be adjusted. ADHD often has a depressive component, so maybe the depression needs to be stabilized b/f addressing the other symptoms.

There are social skill groups for older kids, so there is that option.

[Anonymous]

OP - He needs to have an evaluation done by an adult psychiatrist who also works with older teens with ADHD. Besides the medical doctor, he might need a referral to a good therapist to also help him relate to his issues and decide just what things might interest him. My take for a junior in high school would be to encourage him to participate in a sport iif there is option for a community team. Or explore with him the idea of volunteering. Looking ahead to summer, maybe help him get a head start on finding a part-time summer job or unpaid internship. If he has never had the chance to go away to a camp with interests he might like to pursue,then perhaps see if this might be an option for a couple of weeks.

[Anonymous]

What about an activity that doesn't require much talking, such as a community service project through which he might make some friends? Or volunteering in a way that involves younger children (with whom he might feel more comfortable), and thereby connect with his fellow teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about an activity that doesn't require much talking, such as a community service project through which he might make some friends? Or volunteering in a way that involves younger children (with whom he might feel more comfortable), and thereby connect with his fellow teens.

His into politics so I told him to join the young Republican Party at school and he will text his friends from there but he doesn't go out with them. I told him to ask them to go to the mall or movies with them or they can come over to play video games and he said he doesn't want to invite them cause they might be busy, but he never asks.

[Anonymous]

OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.

This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.

This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.

This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

OP if you are unsure if he has ADHD or "something else",then you MUST get him a private neuropsychological evaluation. Do not rely on the school's "psychologist" to do this because they are not really psychologists and many times will label your child with a "diagnosis" that fits their agenda.

Is his IEP meeting next month his 3 year review?

And when you said he doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble, what exactly do you mean by this? why would he get in trouble? is he in public? which county?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.

This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

OP if you are unsure if he has ADHD or "something else",then you MUST get him a private neuropsychological evaluation. Do not rely on the school's "psychologist" to do this because they are not really psychologists and many times will label your child with a "diagnosis" that fits their agenda.

Is his IEP meeting next month his 3 year review?

And when you said he doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble, what exactly do you mean by this? why would he get in trouble? is he in public? which county?

WTF? You must have at least a masters degree (plus 1 year internship) in school psychology in order to work in a school as a 'school psychologist.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.

This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

OP if you are unsure if he has ADHD or "something else",then you MUST get him a private neuropsychological evaluation. Do not rely on the school's "psychologist" to do this because they are not really psychologists and many times will label your child with a "diagnosis" that fits their agenda.

Is his IEP meeting next month his 3 year review?

And when you said he doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble, what exactly do you mean by this? why would he get in trouble? is he in public? which county?

WTF? You must have at least a masters degree (plus 1 year internship) in school psychology in order to work in a school as a 'school psychologist.'

WTF? A "real psychologist" has their doctorate! Sorry if I prefer someone who has the level of education possible to assess my child.

[Anonymous]

RE EVL happened last year. They didn't tested him. Last time they "tested" him doing the re eve was 4th grade. Are they suppose to test him every time he has a re evl? We are not sure about the American Educational system because we came to the US back in 2000. So we don't know about all the policies about the USA and the educational system. We are from Peru where they specal ed means something like back in the 1950s.. That why I don't really questiosn that teachers I don't want to be rude or anything

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.


This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

OP if you are unsure if he has ADHD or "something else",then you MUST get him a private neuropsychological evaluation. Do not rely on the school's "psychologist" to do this because they are not really psychologists and many times will label your child with a "diagnosis" that fits their agenda.

Is his IEP meeting next month his 3 year review?

And when you said he doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble, what exactly do you mean by this? why would he get in trouble? is he in public? which county?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RE EVL happened last year. They didn't tested him. Last time they "tested" him doing the re eve was 4th grade. Are they suppose to test him every time he has a re evl? We are not sure about the American Educational system because we came to the US back in 2000. So we don't know about all the policies about the USA and the educational system. We are from Peru where they specal ed means something like back in the 1950s.. That why I don't really questiosn that teachers I don't want to be rude or anything

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.


This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

OP if you are unsure if he has ADHD or "something else",then you MUST get him a private neuropsychological evaluation. Do not rely on the school's "psychologist" to do this because they are not really psychologists and many times will label your child with a "diagnosis" that fits their agenda.

Is his IEP meeting next month his 3 year review?

And when you said he doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble, what exactly do you mean by this? why would he get in trouble? is he in public? which county?

The IEP Re-Evaluation happens every 3 years, at least it does in Montgomery County. To prepare for the re-evaluation the SpEd team at the school will do an assessment on your son to make sure that he still qualifies for IEP services. They will also do their version of a neuropsychological evaluation - this is the evaluation I mentioned that you should try to do on your own with a private psychologist, especially because you mentioned that you didn't know if he had ADD or something else. If you can afford to do this, please get a private evaluation with a top psychologist! The cost for this is usually around $3000-$4000, and is not covered by insurance. A good psychologist will be able to tell you everything about your son and it will be accurate, unlike those that are done in the school system.


With regards to the definition of Special Education in the US. it is not at all like the 1950's definition of SpEd. If your child has an IEP, they are technically in the SpEd program and this includes kids with mild ADHD. Perhaps others will chime in on my last comment and provide their feedback on this as well.

[Anonymous]

So should I asked the school to tested him?

quote=Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RE EVL happened last year. They didn't tested him. Last time they "tested" him doing the re eve was 4th grade. Are they suppose to test him every time he has a re evl? We are not sure about the American Educational system because we came to the US back in 2000. So we don't know about all the policies about the USA and the educational system. We are from Peru where they specal ed means something like back in the 1950s.. That why I don't really questiosn that teachers I don't want to be rude or anything

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.


This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

OP if you are unsure if he has ADHD or "something else",then you MUST get him a private neuropsychological evaluation. Do not rely on the school's "psychologist" to do this because they are not really psychologists and many times will label your child with a "diagnosis" that fits their agenda.

Is his IEP meeting next month his 3 year review?

And when you said he doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble, what exactly do you mean by this? why would he get in trouble? is he in public? which county?

The IEP Re-Evaluation happens every 3 years, at least it does in Montgomery County. To prepare for the re-evaluation the SpEd team at the school will do an assessment on your son to make sure that he still qualifies for IEP services. They will also do their version of a neuropsychological evaluation - this is the evaluation I mentioned that you should try to do on your own with a private psychologist, especially because you mentioned that you didn't know if he had ADD or something else. If you can afford to do this, please get a private evaluation with a top psychologist! The cost for this is usually around $3000-$4000, and is not covered by insurance. A good psychologist will be able to tell you everything about your son and it will be accurate, unlike those that are done in the school system.


With regards to the definition of Special Education in the US. it is not at all like the 1950's definition of SpEd. If your child has an IEP, they are technically in the SpEd program and this includes kids with mild ADHD. Perhaps others will chime in on my last comment and provide their feedback on this as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So should I asked the school to tested him?

quote=Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RE EVL happened last year. They didn't tested him. Last time they "tested" him doing the re eve was 4th grade. Are they suppose to test him every time he has a re evl? We are not sure about the American Educational system because we came to the US back in 2000. So we don't know about all the policies about the USA and the educational system. We are from Peru where they specal ed means something like back in the 1950s.. That why I don't really questiosn that teachers I don't want to be rude or anything

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your child is in middle school then you should reach out to his case worker, assuming he has an IEP.


This case worker is usually one of his teachers, and they can tell you what is really going on at school with regards to his communication with other students.

I am confused as to why this has never come up before now? If these difficulties have existed for longer than 3 months, then they should have come up in past IEP meetings.

His grades are good his GPA is 3.1. He doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble.. It never came up in the IEP because it wasn't a problem for him before this year, His IEP its next month. He has a doctor appointment 12/21 st. I am not if he has ADD or something else.

OP if you are unsure if he has ADHD or "something else",then you MUST get him a private neuropsychological evaluation. Do not rely on the school's "psychologist" to do this because they are not really psychologists and many times will label your child with a "diagnosis" that fits their agenda.

Is his IEP meeting next month his 3 year review?

And when you said he doesn't want to talk in class because he doesn't want to get in trouble, what exactly do you mean by this? why would he get in trouble? is he in public? which county?

The IEP Re-Evaluation happens every 3 years, at least it does in Montgomery County. To prepare for the re-evaluation the SpEd team at the school will do an assessment on your son to make sure that he still qualifies for IEP services. They will also do their version of a neuropsychological evaluation - this is the evaluation I mentioned that you should try to do on your own with a private psychologist, especially because you mentioned that you didn't know if he had ADD or something else. If you can afford to do this, please get a private evaluation with a top psychologist! The cost for this is usually around $3000-$4000, and is not covered by insurance. A good psychologist will be able to tell you everything about your son and it will be accurate, unlike those that are done in the school system.


With regards to the definition of Special Education in the US. it is not at all like the 1950's definition of SpEd. If your child has an IEP, they are technically in the SpEd program and this includes kids with mild ADHD. Perhaps others will chime in on my last comment and provide their feedback on this as well.

No OP - If you can afford a private psychologist this is what I would do. You need to find out what your son's real learning profile is. The school psychologist is not capable of doing this, although they will tell you that they are capable! Its all BS.