I wish I had in-laws to complain about

[Anonymous]

I'm not writing this to chastise anyone, I know through friends and siblings that in-law relationships vary greatly.
I just wish I had the opportunity to have one, one way or the other.
I wish this time of year wasn't so sad for DH.
I wish my kids had the experience of two sets of grandparents doting over them.
I wish I had a MIL to tell me stories of DH as a kid, teach me his favorite recipes or even complain about my cooking, which actually does suck.
Thanks for letting me share my heart.

[Anonymous]

I feel this way too, without a mother in law. We are lucky to have my father in law who I love very much, but I miss her so much and wish she'd been here for all that we have experienced without her. Do you have other in laws OP that you can turn to for stories about DH and to share the holidays and your kids with? Aunts and uncles?

[Anonymous]

Take mine, please, while I am feeling generous. I can assure she'll complain about your cooking, will talk about her son non stop, argue with you about your every decision and action (everything!), will go through your closets to check how tidy you are, and tell you you are the marriage for money. You'll stop feeling bad for your DH very soon, but might start feeling bad for yourself.

[Anonymous]

DH's Aunts and Uncles live some distance so we see them rarely. He does have a younger brother, which is good, but different than a grandparent.
BIL is great, but he can't tell me about what it was like DH's first year, the first time he held him the way a mom would, the way an MIL would.
It's silly I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take mine, please, while I am feeling generous. I can assure she'll complain about your cooking, will talk about her son non stop, argue with you about your every decision and action (everything!), will go through your closets to check how tidy you are, and tell you you are the marriage for money. You'll stop feeling bad for your DH very soon, but might start feeling bad for yourself.

I'm sorry things are so bad for you. Truly I am. I know not all MILs are great, my sister has one who drives her nuts and is a horrible lady. I get that, and I realize my MIL , had I gotten the chance to know her could have been awful, but at this moment I just might take that trade off to give my DH is mom and dad back.

[Anonymous]

I don't complain about my ILs - they survived the Vietnam War and managed to rebuild their lives and raise 4 children.

I DO complain about my mother! Do you need a mother, OP? One that will criticize absolutely everything you do, and everything you don't do? Who will say that your husband is a jerk? Who will berate you when you announce a pregnancy, because she never wants to see you happy, ever?

Please, OP. Get over yourself. Relationships aren't as simple as you make them out to be.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, my DH doesn't have family either and this time of year is hard. Now that we have our own family he seems better. But, I understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't complain about my ILs - they survived the Vietnam War and managed to rebuild their lives and raise 4 children.

I DO complain about my mother! Do you need a mother, OP? One that will criticize absolutely everything you do, and everything you don't do? Who will say that your husband is a jerk? Who will berate you when you announce a pregnancy, because she never wants to see you happy, ever?

Please, OP. Get over yourself. Relationships aren't as simple as you make them out to be.

I'm sorry I offended you. That wasn't my intention at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, my DH doesn't have family either and this time of year is hard. Now that we have our own family he seems better. But, I understand.

Thank you. It's a little better in some ways now that we have kids, but in some ways it isn't. He gets busy with the kids and into the spirit of things, but sometimes
I see it on his face.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful season {{{{Hugs}}}}}

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH's Aunts and Uncles live some distance so we see them rarely. He does have a younger brother, which is good, but different than a grandparent.
BIL is great, but he can't tell me about what it was like DH's first year, the first time he held him the way a mom would, the way an MIL would.
It's silly I know.

You have this fantasy of what a mother in law would be. My MIL hasn't told me a thing about DH when he was born except how much he weighed. She told me he was allergic to one kind of formula and needed a different kind but that's irrelevant to me since I'm nursing. She never said anything else about his first year of life. She's met our baby on one visit and hasn't ever held her. Not all mothers in law fit your fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take mine, please, while I am feeling generous. I can assure she'll complain about your cooking, will talk about her son non stop, argue with you about your every decision and action (everything!), will go through your closets to check how tidy you are, and tell you you are the marriage for money. You'll stop feeling bad for your DH very soon, but might start feeling bad for yourself.

I'm sorry things are so bad for you. Truly I am. I know not all MILs are great, my sister has one who drives her nuts and is a horrible lady. I get that, and I realize my MIL , had I gotten the chance to know her could have been awful, but at this moment I just might take that trade off to give my DH is mom and dad back.

You are a very loving wife, PP. I am sure your MIL would be happy to know that your son chose to marry you.

[Anonymous]

You are a very loving wife, PP. I am sure your MIL would be happy to know that your son chose to marry you.
+1 Your husband is in good hands. I'm sorry for your heartache. I never got to meet my MIL either. I like to think we would have loved each other, but even if we didn't, I know we both would have loved my DH and our children. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not writing this to chastise anyone, I know through friends and siblings that in-law relationships vary greatly.
I just wish I had the opportunity to have one, one way or the other.
I wish this time of year wasn't so sad for DH.
I wish my kids had the experience of two sets of grandparents doting over them.
I wish I had a MIL to tell me stories of DH as a kid, teach me his favorite recipes or even complain about my cooking, which actually does suck.
Thanks for letting me share my heart.

I'm sorry you're sad about not having a MIL, but I can tell you that a bad MIL is so much worse than no MIL! I have a horrible MIL. She would never tell me stories of DH as a kid, she doesn't cook, never did, and wouldn't complain about my cooking because she's too busy complaining about everything else. We've been together for 20 years, but MIL has still not accepted me (not the same religion). I guess she thinks DH will come to his senses and dump me some day!

You have lovely fantasies, OP, but be satisfied with what you have. A great MIL would be wonderful, but most are not great. You can have mine, but I'm sure you won't want her.

[Anonymous]

OP, my in-laws are deceased too, but I always thought it was great I didn't have to deal with more family. We are such hermits, however. Don't care about holidays much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not writing this to chastise anyone, I know through friends and siblings that in-law relationships vary greatly.
I just wish I had the opportunity to have one, one way or the other.
I wish this time of year wasn't so sad for DH.
I wish my kids had the experience of two sets of grandparents doting over them.
I wish I had a MIL to tell me stories of DH as a kid, teach me his favorite recipes or even complain about my cooking, which actually does suck.
Thanks for letting me share my heart.

I am in the same boat (never knew my inlaws) but without the wishes. Don't let it tear you up. It is what it is. Choose joy, OP.