Is 58 really THAT old?

[Anonymous]

My wife is always saying that I am getting older, life will be more sedentary, our kids will have kids in a few years, we need to visit them, etc. I feel like she is trying to turn me into one of the men in her family who sit on their ass non-stop the minute they turn 65.

I have dreams, want to go back to school, teach, consult, travel, meet new people, learn new things. I work out almost every day, stay in shape. Want to do things I put off for years for reasons beyond me.

So is 58 bordering on ancient? Is it all over with most of my new thinking and energy a thing of the past? I work over 50 hours a week and feel like I am at the top of my game. Why the need for her to make me feel like some old guy?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is trying to tell you that her health is deteriorating, and that she needs some consideration. Does she have some health problems? Maybe it is not about you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she is trying to tell you that her health is deteriorating, and that she needs some consideration. Does she have some health problems? Maybe it is not about you...

She is overweight and I have given up trying to get her to cut the calories. It has affected her limbs and blood pressure. She does talk about how both of us are going to start having health problems, which irks me. I had a sibling die at an early age and want to live life to the fullest, no matter the circumstances.

[Anonymous]

I think people sometimes talk themselves into accepting poor health by assuming that it's all a result of "getting old." That's certainly what I assumed happen to elderly people when I was young. But I've been working out for most of my life and I feel fantastic at the age of 60. I'm not trying to stay young; I just feel really really good. I'm so glad I continued to work out through all those years of kids, career, and other pressures, because I think that is what made the difference.

It's your life, OP. And as I get older and face the fact that I have fewer years left to live, I am more concerned than ever about choosing my path wisely. Go for it.

[Anonymous]

Do you and your wife do a lot together? If you work over 50 hours a week and work out every day, how much time do you have to spend with your wife?

[Anonymous]

OP: you should stay active, curious and pursuing life fully, as you wish. Maybe your wife will get inspired.

When I was in my 20s and learning to ski, one of my instructors was 68 years old. He said there was no reason a 60 year old should not ski as well as a 20 year old. I still think of him 20 years later. As soon as we have enough to retire, I would like to move to Colorado and become a ski bum for a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

PP again. Mt dad is a retired professor. His intellectual vitality and curiosity have not diminished with age. He keeps writing. His new book is coming out in two weeks.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws are in their 70s and so active and energetic. They regularly make healthy choices, and it has obviously paid off. I really admire them.

[Anonymous]

Clearly your wife is trying to send you a message about HER.

Specifically, that you're leaving her behind in the dust, and that she doesn't like it.

That's what my sedentary mother did to my active father. Now I worry he'll die before her, he's become as sedentary as she, and he has more familial cardiovascular risks. It's frustrating.

[Anonymous]

58 is prime time.
Keep going, keep learning.
Life is long if you are lucky!

[Anonymous]

She's saying that you shouldn't take the good health that you have now for granted and that you should travel to see your kids now while you can.

I agree with her. I hope that you will continue to enjoy good health for many more years (you are not old!) but there is no guarantee that you won't have medical issues crop up (you are also not a kid any more). Bodies get older and parts get worn. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

My parents are in their mid-late 70s and travel internationally 2-3 times a year. They volunteer with organizations they care about and love so ending time with all of their grandchildren.

58 isn't close to being old - unless you want it to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again. Mt dad is a retired professor. His intellectual vitality and curiosity have not diminished with age. He keeps writing. His new book is coming out in two weeks.

I never understand why professors even bothering retiring.

[Anonymous]

Grow a pair. Surely with age comes at least a bit of wisdom? I'm 54 and am more active now that the kids are out of the house than I have been in years. We both run several times a week, exercise, ski in the winter, kayak, sail, etc. We travel frequently. Of course we also work hard and are doing very well. Not ready to be done quite yet and no reason you should be either.