Am I being crazy?

[Anonymous]

We, for better or worse, are hosting a large thanksgiving gathering at our house w a 4 month old. My mother-in-law is getting bent out of shape every time I take the baby to our bedroom to nurse and thinks I'm (in no particular order) coddling him, depriving her of time with him, and being neurotic. She wants to feed him herself with a bottle.

He takes bottles no problem with his nanny, but I decided at the outset of this weekend I wanted to keep our routine of EBF when I'm home. Baby is a sweet guy but easily overstimulated and thought it would be good to keep that constant and allow him (...and me. Haha) a bit of quiet time away from the hubbub.

Am I being crazy? MIL doesn't get a chance to visit very often. But I feel like his routine is so shot over the holiday and didn't want to introduce another new thing.

[Anonymous]

Not being crazy! Nurse your baby!

[Anonymous]

She should be keeping her opinions to herself. Ordinarily, I'd suggest letting her do a feeding if it means that much to her, but I'd be hard pressed to do that with someone who just called me neurotic.

[Anonymous]

Ugh.
You are feeding your child, NOT depriving her of time with him.
Do you have the guts to say "I will let you change every diaper then to make it up to you then".

What a crazy MIL

[Anonymous]

Stay your course. At 4 months and EBF, routine and quiet one-on-one with Mom is important for your little one, especially with all this ruckus in your house.

I give you permission to snap at your MIL

[Anonymous]

Of course you're not being crazy, but you know that. Be honest, this is a vent about your neurotic, passive-aggressive mother. Tell her to go stuff a turkey.

[Anonymous]

No, she's being crazy. Nurse your baby however and whenever you want.

[Anonymous]

You mom is throwing a fit because she wants to give the baby a bottle (which I'll admit is quite fun). That doesn't mean you should let her do it, I also know the importance of BFing the baby as much as you can. Her temper tantrum over it is really immature.

[Anonymous]

You're doing the right thing. She should be thanking her lucky stars you were willing to host--or participate at all--this holiday season when you could have celebrated privately with such a young baby.

[Anonymous]

She's nuts--and this seems a common thing for MILs to feel out about, fwiw.

Work with DH to set expectations with her before visits (i.e., you and he discuss, he tells her). Things like when they baby goes to bed and how often she naps, etc. it helps.

Good for you for taking time with your infant away from the hubbub, for you and the baby. You deserve your baby time, especially as your baby is so little and you are relatively newly back to work, I would imagine.

[Anonymous]

^^freak out about I mean.

Is it her first grandchild?

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing: you must not bend this time, because then she'll know she can win if she puts pressure on you.

Let her cry it out.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who refers to EBF a 4-month-old as "coddling" doesn't warrant any further attention, my dear.

Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Well she's crazy, but you could let her give the baby one bottle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well she's crazy, but you could let her give the baby one bottle?

Not at this point!!! Then MIL would learn she's in charge if she bullies.