Am I being crazy?

[Anonymous]

OP here - as one PP suspected, it was a little bit of venting. But -- as a FTM it's sometimes hard to figure out if you are striking the right balance between being flexible/accommodating and looking out for your baby! I really appreciate all the posts here that affirmed I'm not being insane. I held my ground (thankfully w support from DH) and addressed her complaints by essentially ignoring them. The really good news -- Thanksgiving is over!

[Anonymous]

OP here - as one PP suspected, it was a little bit of venting. But -- as a FTM it's sometimes hard to figure out if you are striking the right balance between being flexible/accommodating and looking out for your baby! I really appreciate all the posts here that affirmed I'm not being insane. I held my ground (thankfully w support from DH) and addressed her complaints by essentially ignoring them. The really good news -- Thanksgiving is over!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Stay your course. At 4 months and EBF, routine and quiet one-on-one with Mom is important for your little one, especially with all this ruckus in your house.

I give you permission to snap at your MIL

+1

[Anonymous]

No doubt you've all gone to bed by now, but for the future remember that one day your little baby will be grown and have his own children, God willing, and then you will be the MIL begging to feed your grandchild. I am not saying you are wrong here, but -- golden rule -- how would you have your future DIL do unto you?

[Anonymous]

No doubt you've all gone to bed by now, but for the future remember that one day your little baby will be grown and have his own children, God willing, and then you will be the MIL begging to feed your grandchild. I am not saying you are wrong here, but -- golden rule -- how would you have your future DIL do unto you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No doubt you've all gone to bed by now, but for the future remember that one day your little baby will be grown and have his own children, God willing, and then you will be the MIL begging to feed your grandchild. I am not saying you are wrong here, but -- golden rule -- how would you have your future DIL do unto you?

Oh come on What a bunch of bullshit. OP is doing what's best for the baby and for herself. Lay off the ridiculous guilt trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No doubt you've all gone to bed by now, but for the future remember that one day your little baby will be grown and have his own children, God willing, and then you will be the MIL begging to feed your grandchild. I am not saying you are wrong here, but -- golden rule -- how would you have your future DIL do unto you?

Oh come on What a bunch of bullshit. OP is doing what's best for the baby and for herself. Lay off the ridiculous guilt trips.

+1

Or a MIL can just be thrilled her DIL is hosting when she also has a four month old baby and be happy and helpful in her grandchild's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No doubt you've all gone to bed by now, but for the future remember that one day your little baby will be grown and have his own children, God willing, and then you will be the MIL begging to feed your grandchild. I am not saying you are wrong here, but -- golden rule -- how would you have your future DIL do unto you?

Shut it. I will hope my DIL or DD will consider breastfeeding, and I'll be supportive if they do. Quiet time for BF is great for mom and baby. I'll hold my grandchild when it is a good time to do so.

[Anonymous]

Interesting that you did not mention your husband at all in the post.

His mom, his job.

He runs interference for you and tells his mom nicely but clearly and firmly: "Mom, BOTH DW and I are keeping the baby on his regular routine while we've got guests. That includes giving him his quiet time to feed, and that means breastfeeding away from everyone. I know your generation didn't do things this way but we do, and I'd appreciate it if you would not make any comments to DW or to me about it from now on."

If MIL still whines about wanting to feed the baby herself, DH needs to step up each time and treat her a bit like a toddler: Distract and redirect. "But I don't see why I can't feed the baby with a bottle! The babysitter does it!" DH (not you, OP, but your DH!): "Mom, come look at this (photo album, web site, TV show)" or "Mom, we're all going for a drive to see holiday lights in a little while, want to help me do X first," or whatever. If he really has to, he can do the "This can be our time to catch up, Mom" routine with her whenever you and the baby disappear.

But however he handles it, this is HIS to handle. If he's letting you stand there and take it as his mother calls you "neurotic" he's way, way out of line. I hope he's playing his part as the adult child and protective spouse here, OP. Meanwhile stick to your guns about keeping your routine and breastfeeding (and escaping).