Discipline for bad grades

[Anonymous]

I am looking for ideas of appropriate discipline for bad grades. I have a 8th grade boy who currently has 2 Cs and 1 D. When looking at his grades, they suffer mostly because of incomplete homework and not doing well on quizzes. I feel that he is capable of better grades. But he just is not interested or lazy. In the past, we have punished him by taking away video games and his phone. But I'm not sure if that is effective anymore. He is trying out for his school basketball team and I am thinking about telling him he can't play until his grades come up. I'm concerned his grades will suffer even more with practices everyday after school. What have other parents done in this situation? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think it's good to send a message that school effort matters more than sports participation. It's harsh, yes, but it confirms why he's in school in the first place (i.e., it's not for the sports).

[Anonymous]

Some won't agree with this approach, but we incentivized all the grades on the report card. What can I say...I have a kid for whom cash money makes an impact.

A =$20
B= $0
C= You owe me $5
D = You owe me $10
E = You owe me $20

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some won't agree with this approach, but we incentivized all the grades on the report card. What can I say...I have a kid for whom cash money makes an impact.

A =$20
B= $0
C= You owe me $5
D = You owe me $10
E = You owe me $20

I'm 30 and my parents did that exact thing when I was in high school. Same amounts even (so your amounts might need upped). I was highly, highly motivated by cash since I never had any.

[Anonymous]

OP can your son play on the basketball team with a D? Do they have a GPA requirement?

[Anonymous]

Will your school even allow him to play basketball with those grades? As to what to do, I'd be first looking to see what his abilities are. Not everyone is capable of getting good grades.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, his school requires a 2.0 GPA or higher and not any Fs. They are going by his last report card which he was above a 3.0. The grades I posted above are for second term, which only started a few weeks ago.

And to the poster above, he is more than capable of Cs and Ds. When he applies himself, he has made Honor Roll in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, his school requires a 2.0 GPA or higher and not any Fs. They are going by his last report card which he was above a 3.0. The grades I posted above are for second term, which only started a few weeks ago.

And to the poster above, he is more than capable of Cs and Ds. When he applies himself, he has made Honor Roll in the past.

]


OP, this is another vote for saying no to sports until he is doing much better academically -- especially as you have clear evidence that he CAN do much better.

Sports is a plus, an extra, a privilege to be earned by doing well at his main job: School. A privilege and not a right.

He will whine at you about how the school policy says he can play with those grades (assuming he makes it onto the team). Stick to your guns and be clear that the school can have any policy it wants about academic requirements for sports; you have your own family policy now, and it is much tougher.

I would also dig down, OP, and find out why a kid capable of honor roll grades is diving into C and D territory. That's in three classes -- What's going on with the other classes he's taking? Better grades, As and Bs? Are the Cs and D in subjects that have always been a bit of an issue for him but he's done OK, and suddenly this year he's doing worse in those topics? While I agree that he should lose things he wants (sports privileges, screen time, gaming, phone, etc.) if he's not applying himself, I also think you should approach this not only as a disciplinary issue but also as a possible academic issue, if possibly he is not getting concepts and is afraid to ask for help, or has clashes with teaching styles that you're not aware of, etc. Look at the big picture of all his grades, not just these three; find out why he's not doing homework if he previously was good about getting it done -- is he distracted by media or gaming, distracted by friends/drama, bored with the classes, etc.? Laziness may be part of it for sure, but don't forget to find out why a previously good student is acting this way OR not understanding things and not asking for help. Let him see that although discipline is involved, you also want to work with him to fix this.

[Anonymous]

My parents made me quit swim team in high school for a C in math (had all As and Bs otherwise). I think it's a little draconian in hindsight.

Where does your son do his homework?

[Anonymous]

We just went through this with my 7th grader. We took a remedial, rather than punitive approach. We instituted a rule that there would be no media on weeknights. 7-9 is homework time every night. We sat down with him and reviewed the work every night. We reminded him to turn it in the morning. We asked him if he turned it at night. His dad did math tutoring two nights a week.

After a couple of weeks of that, he was sick of us helping him and got down to doing enough to bring his grades up.

[Anonymous]

I agree with no sports til Bs. I would also suggest that you police his homework for a few weeks - dedicated time for working on it, in a common area of the house, where you can watch him working - and talking about whether it's done, what it was about, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP - for what it is worth, some kids do better with the discipline that a sport provides.

I would also stop looking at results and stop looking at process. The real issue you face is missed work. That has to stop. I would take away a lot of autonomy. Make basketball tryouts contingent on working with you to keep a perfect agenda of up and coming assignments. You can use google docs, a pad of paper, myhomeworkapp.com or whatever works. Then you work with him without yelling to get the work in and to check that he does it. Studying, too. The grades should improve, and if they don't you have a different problem, anyway.

The schools demand a ridiculous amount of skill to handle all the assignments coming at kids in seven different ways (paper, blackboard, google calendar, google classroom, and probably something else as well), through three different logins (blackboard, the school district, google classroom, and maybe something else), at random times (test reviews posted on the weekend??), on paper (handouts?), or yelled to the kids as they walk out the door. At least for my kid (who has a good work ethic), it is just too much. When left unassisted, he loses track and eventually falls into an abyss. With assistance, he stays on track, does his work unaided, and is a pleasure to live with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just went through this with my 7th grader. We took a remedial, rather than punitive approach. We instituted a rule that there would be no media on weeknights. 7-9 is homework time every night. We sat down with him and reviewed the work every night. We reminded him to turn it in the morning. We asked him if he turned it at night. His dad did math tutoring two nights a week.

After a couple of weeks of that, he was sick of us helping him and got down to doing enough to bring his grades up.

perfect! we did something similar, and remain "remedial' on executive function stuff. he still needs that, but no longer any assistance/yelling on content.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am looking for ideas of appropriate discipline for bad grades. I have a 8th grade boy who currently has 2 Cs and 1 D. When looking at his grades, they suffer mostly because of incomplete homework and not doing well on quizzes. I feel that he is capable of better grades. But he just is not interested or lazy. In the past, we have punished him by taking away video games and his phone. But I'm not sure if that is effective anymore. He is trying out for his school basketball team and I am thinking about telling him he can't play until his grades come up. I'm concerned his grades will suffer even more with practices everyday after school. What have other parents done in this situation? Thanks.

I read your other post: he doesn't have 2 Cs and a D, since he had As and Bs last quarter. He has some missed homework and is sluffing off in the new quarter. It's been three weeks. Deal with the missed work. Don't assume he is lazy, because maybe he's upset or overwhelmed or whatever. Using the word "lazy" usually backfires. Just deal with the missed work -- there may be more than you think going on.

Take away basket ball and you will turn some minor sluffing off into a battle of wills.

[Anonymous]

I feel like positive incentives work better than negative ones. Also so much depends on the kid, but is this a kid who needs to get physical exercise to decompress? Is basketball one of several activities or is it the one thing he really loves? In either of those cases, I would say that not letting him play is a negative thing.