Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor

[Anonymous]

My sister wants to be thanked and praised when she spends hours in the basement or yard with my kids (8 and 9) and hers (4 and 6) every time she visits. And then she tells me it's my turn. BUT, I don't go in the basement or yard with them and I don't think she needs to do so. 4 and 6 are plenty old enough to play alone with their cousins. Should I just tell her this?

[Anonymous]

Yes just tell her.

[Anonymous]

Of course

[Anonymous]

She's got the younger kids...how reliable is the 4 year old?

[Anonymous]

Sure, you tell her "They seem like they're having a great time on their own."

What's her issue? Overprotective or just feeling like she needs to give them "quality time?"

[Anonymous]

Yes. Why are you even asking. Alternatively just say OK and let them play alone but tell them if they need something to come ask you. This is a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

She might feel like she has to watch her children because they're younger -- but, uh, their her children and that's her job, not yours.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her. She might tell you something specific about their interactions that will clue you in. You might not feel the need to watch them, but perhaps she does. Since the younger kids are hers, I wouldn't be so quick to criticize.

When my oldest was 4, I had to watch him like a hawk. He had developmental delays and other kids would take his toys and push him around because he would never respond.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that her 4- and 6-year old kids are perfectly fine to play with and be watched by their 8 and 9-year old cousins, and you are not planning to supervise them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that her 4- and 6-year old kids are perfectly fine to play with and be watched by their 8 and 9-year old cousins, and you are not planning to supervise them.

Maybe she just needs to be reassured that the place they are playing is "kid-friendly" and that you want her to relax and hang out with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that her 4- and 6-year old kids are perfectly fine to play with and be watched by their 8 and 9-year old cousins, and you are not planning to supervise them.

Maybe she just needs to be reassured that the place they are playing is "kid-friendly" and that you want her to relax and hang out with you.

Yes, reassure her: "Is it just my basement and/or my back yard, sis! It's not like I am sending them across town to run errands."

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing that she feels that she has to watch her children and that yours join in to what they're doing, naturally, and she feels that she is therefore watching them as well.

At 4 and 6, she still thinks her children need a parent there and since yours are in the same area, she interprets that as her being in charge of them.

You need to point this out to her, and then make sure you say that if they need anything at all to tell them to come to you.

Do you think they are pestering her in any way? Or really just playing quietly on their own.

[Anonymous]

You should thank her for BABYSITTING your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should thank her for BABYSITTING your kids.

Her 8 and 9 year old don't need babysitting. And OP (I agree) thinks that the 4 & 6 year old don't really need it either. At that age they do not need to be supervised every second of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should thank her for BABYSITTING your kids.

No, you should explain to her that your children who are 8 and 9 years old do not need babysitting. They just need some adult to be in the house (just available, not actively supervising) while they are playing outside or in the basement.